Love the Details

2010 - So far, so awesome

2010-03-15T21:55:00.000-07:00

Dear 2010, so far? You're pretty effing awesome. First off, there was the Weekend of Wilco.

Topped off by seeing my college crush. (Still hot, btw.)

Then I saw John Mayer in concert.

And Saturday in Eau Claire at a chinese restaurant, who did I spy scooping some delicious delights? None other than one of my frequent go-to daydream boys, Justin Vernon, of Bon Iver.

I freaked out. I immediately texted Kristen: OMG! I THINK I SEE JUSTIN V!!!

Kristen: Where the f**k are you?

Me: (Chinese Name) in Eau Claire! I'm shaking! I need to go snoop and make sure!

Kristen: Omg omg omg omg! Go hump his leg!

But I didn't. I sat in my seat telling myself it would be rude to go interrupt his meal to tell him I would love to make beautiful music with him. In bed, of course. I can't play instruments or sing.

So we (me, my sister and niece) got up to leave, and there he was. I swiftly walked through the exit and sat next to the wishing pond, wishing for courage. My sister went back and told him her sister was too chicken to tell him how much she liked his music. He was funny. I won't tell you what he said because I'd like to keep some part of it private. But it was pretty hilarious. And she shook his hand and said he smiled the whole time.

Damn me and my crippling shyness.

Pretty sure that's one of his brothers next to him. And look, JV's got ice cream with sprinkles. Awwww. Do me now.

Also, I texted Kristen that I'm going to see Bret Michaels in concert Thursday night. (My friend is a big fan; I'm keeping her company.)

Kristen: FRIENDSHIP OVER.

Me: Good. I'm free to chase after JV then.

Kristen: FRIENDSHIP BACK ON.

OOOOHH! And if you're in the market for new music, Anais Mitchell's "Hadestown" is un-freaking-believable. Honestly, though it was just released, it has already jumped to the top five albums I've ever heard. It features vocals by Justin Vernon, Greg Brown, Ani DiFranco and more.

Battle Studies

2010-03-07T18:28:00.000-08:00

Um... I may have mentioned in passing that I like John Mayer? Right. It's possible that it's deeper than that.

Anyway, my co-worker Julie and I went to see him in concert Tuesday night in Minneapolis, MN. I saw him in 2007 in Madison, blog account of it here, and it was about 100 times better this time around. I mean, the music was just as excellent, but this time he interacted more, used the whole stage, and there was a jumbo screen so even those of us at the very back could see him.

Here are my fave and best pics I got.

Steve Jordan! I was super excited that he was the drummer at this concert. He's part of the John Mayer Trio. He's phenomenal.

Really fun concert, despite seat confusion. We were in the right row and seat, wrong section. Hot boy in argyle sweater was very polite and sweet about it, though. Then when we got to the right section, some snotty girls were in our seats and were all, "Kkeh. (sound of disgust) Can't you just sit over there?"

Fave songs played: "Gravity," "Vultures," "Belief," "Why Georgia." He has a really cool way of blending or doing a mash-up of different songs. (Think "Glee." Back on in April!)

For now, there are no other concerts on the horizon. Boo! But don't cry for me, Argentina. The truth is there will be music, and I will find it.

Best. Weekend. Ever!

2010-02-28T13:03:00.000-08:00

I've had to take a full week to recuperate from the awesomeness that is Wilco.

On Feb. 19, 2010, Kristen and I attended the Wilco concert at the DECC in Duluth. It was our third time seeing them, and front-row seats assured us maximum exposure. Not that we flashed the band (although I'm sure we thought of it), but we could see every member of the band, and they saw us, too.

Look at us. A pair of Wilco-lovin' fools.

Here's my future husband, the already-married, Wilco front man Jeff Tweedy. He kept looking at me while singing and smiled at me many times. It was swoon-tastic. At first I thought I was imagining things until Kristen leaned over and said "Jeff Tweedy keeps looking at you!" And a little later, the woman on the other side of me leaned over and said the same thing.

The show was amazing. They always put on a spectactular performance, but with our seats, it really felt like a private concert just for us. I blocked out everyone else.

Until some drunk d-bag moved from the back/side of the seats and stood in front of me. And by in front of me, I mean practically on me. He refused to move even after I, Kristen and a girl in the row behind me told him to leave. So I looked at Jeff Tweedy and shrugged hopelessly. Without breaking from singing, he pointed at the d-bag, then pointed to leave. Mother. Effing. Awesome!

Wilco played an excellent show. They opened with "Wilco (The Song)" off last year's Wilco (The Album). I ♥ funny musicians. Other songs I'd been craving and were played include: "Via Chicago" (which Kristen & I requested on their official Web site), "Heavy Metal Drummer," "A Shot in the Arm," "Impossible Germany" and "Jesus, Etc."

At one point the crowd was supposed to clap along to the beat of the drums, but we were all way off. The pianist tried getting us back on track, but it was difficult. Kristen and I made asses of ourselves trying to get the real beat, and these two guys (directly in front of us!) laughed at us.

This is pretty much my favorite picture I took at the concert. It's already framed and sitting on my bedroom end table next to a framed art print of a blue mix tape labeled "Baby, please don't go."

Speaking of pictures... AAAAHHHH! Jeff Tweedy jumped down in front of my camera and held this pose for me until I gave him the thumbs up that I got it. Unfortunately, bad zoom + floor buckling due to jumping fans = blurry photo. But I still have the experience. The delicious, sexy Tweedy experience.

After the concert, Kristen and I saw the drummer from Bon Iver. K-Lo spotted him and shook his hand. I couldn't hear what was happening, so I just thought he was some hot guy she knew. After we walked away and she told me who he was, I toppled over into the seats in amazement and shock and slight exasperation that she hadn't told me in time so that *I* could intro myself.

By the way, the opening band was Califone, and we approve'd! Kristen bought their CD at Electric Fetus from a hot, sweater-wearing boy, and I'm listening to an older CD of theirs from the library. Good stuff!

We also purchased gig posters made specifically for the Duluth concert, and I'll post a pic once I get the mat and frame altogether.

Memorable K-Lo quotes from the concert: "What if I pee my pants? Ah, I'll just keep rockin'!"

"I dance like Elaine Benes."

"I think Wilco was equally entertained by us tonight."

"I want to have sex with this concert."

Me, too, K-Lo. Me, too.

Children are the future? We're screwed.

2010-01-27T15:04:00.000-08:00

At the library:

Me: Okay, your movies are due back in one week. So next Wednesday.

Girl: What's a week?

Me: Do you know the days of the week?

Girl: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

Me: And what day is today?

Girl: Thursday?

Me: No. It's Wednesday. So you'll bring the movies back next Wednesday. One week.

Girl: Okay!

Her Older Brother: So, when are these due?

Me: *head slams down on counter*

Honestly. If you're old enough to check out books and movies, old enough to use the computer, and old enough to walk all the way to the library by yourself, I'm pretty sure you can figure out what a week means.

Fifth annual book list

2010-01-16T15:08:00.000-08:00

Five-year anniversary already! I read more books in 2009 than I did in 2008, but some of them are repeats as I got ready to continue a series or watch the movie. Titles in bold are ones that I'd definitely recommend.

1) The Heretic's Daughter, by Kathleen Kent
2) City of Bones, by Cassandra Clare
3) City of Ashes, by Cassandra Clare
4) A Great and Terrible Beauty, by Libba Bray
5) The Tales of Beedle the Bard, by J.K. Rowling
6) Once Were Cops, by Ken Bruen
7) Rebel Angels, by Libba Bray
8) Un Lun Dun, by China Mieville
9) The Sweet Far Thing, by Libba Bray
10) Sucks to be Me, by Kimberly Pauley
11) Time of my Life, by Allison Winn Scotch
12) Deja Dead, by Kathy Reichs
13) The Gospel According to the Son, by Norman Mailer
14) Different Seasons, by Stephen King
15) The Night Villa, by Carol Goodman
16) City of Glass, by Cassandra Clare
17) The Reader, by Bernard Schlink
18) The Curious Incidentof the Dog in the Night-time, byMark Haddon
19)The Girl With No Shadow, by Joanne Harris
20) Lonely Werewolf Girl, by Martin Millar (HORRIBLE!)
21) The Little Giant of Aberdeen County, by Tiffany Baker
22) The Forest of Hands and Teeth, by Carrie Ryan (Fantastic YA zombie book)
23) Mouthing the Words, by Camilla Gibb
24) The House of Gentle Men, by Kathy Hepinstall
25) Dead and Gone, by Charlaine Harris
26) In the Dark, by Brian Freeman
27) Flannery: A Life of Flannery O'Connor, by Brad Gooch
28) The Story Sisters, by Alice Hoffman
29) When You Are Engulfed in Flames, by David Sedaris (Dear David, where have you been all my life?)
30) Fragile Things, by Neil Gaiman
31) Darling Jim, by Christian Moerk (Deliciously creepy!)
32) Water for Elephants, by Sara Gruen (Just before Gram went to nursing home; was the right book at the right time.)
33) Jane Austen Ruined My Life, by Beth Pattillo
34) Undead and Unwelcome, by MaryJanice Davidson
35) The Lost Hours, by Karen White (Not really great, but it fit my needs at the time.)
36) One Hot Mess, by Lois Greiman
37) Parasyte 1, by Hitosi Iwaaki
38) Parasyte 2, by Hitosi Iwaaki
39) Parasyte 3, by Hitosi Iwaaki
40) How to Buy a Love of Reading, by Tanya Egan Gibson (I described this as Gossip Girl making out with F. Scott Fitzgerald.)
41) The Fate of Katherine Carr, by Thomas H. Cook
42) Gone, by Michael Grant (Decent YA book)
43) Of Mice and Men, by John Steinbeck
44) Wicked Game, by Jeri Ready-Smith
45) Glucose Revolution, by Jennie Brand-Miller
46) Glitter Train (journal)
47) Twenties Girl, by Sophie KInsella
48) Writer's Digest Short Story Competition Collection (Boo! Terrible stories, numerous errors.)
49) The Absolutely True Story of a Part-Time Indian, by Sherman Alexie (LOVED!)
50) Death Perception, by Victoria Laurie
51) Manuscript by member of writers group--can't divulge info, but it's good
52) The Birthing House, by Christopher Ransom (Mega scary!!!)
53) Shiver, by Maggie Stiefvater (Miss the angst of Twilight but not the bad writing? Try Shiver!)
54) Half-Minute Horrors, edited by Susan Rich
55) New Moon, by Stephenie Meyer (to get ready for the movie)
56) Gone Tomorrow, by P.F. Kluge (So many typos & errors that I could hardly get through it.)
57) Heartsick, by Chelsea Cain
58) Grave Secret, by Charlaine Harris
59) Sweetheart, by Chelsea Cain
60) Evil at Heart, by Chelsea Cain
61) Posed for Murder, by Meredith Cole (Good concept, but the writing isn't engaging at all.)
62) Shanghai Girls, by Lisa See (Most depressing book ever!)

Best baby dream in human history

2010-01-15T20:47:00.000-08:00

Facebook convo worth sharing (at least, I find it funny; therefore, worth sharing):

Amanda, from Critical Edition blog: I had a dream last night that I was watching a vampire movie starring Bea Arthur and Prince. I remember liking it. A lot. Too bad I had to get up so early to go to work - I missed the final battle between good (Prince) and evil (Bea).

Me: I, on the other hand, dreamed about watching dinosaurs hatch from their wee dino eggs. And they looked at me and said "Mama!" And I replied, "Oh, hell no!"

Amanda: If our dreams were to have a baby in a lab somewhere, that baby dream would be the best dream in human history.

2010-01-15T20:12:00.000-08:00

Before they annoyed the crap out of me by asking nonstop questions, these kids in the library today cracked me up. They were doing research on the Titanic for school.

Kid 1: *excited* Hey! It says that the Titanic was owned by the British shipping company White Star Line!
Kid 2: I know. I know.
*silence*
Kid 1: *mocking* I know.

Later, they disagreed about how long it took the ship to sink.
Kid 1: It sank in two hours and forty minutes.
Kid 2: No, it didn't. The movie said (blah blah blah...I forget what he said exactly).
Kid 1: Kid 2, the movie is Rated R.
Kid 2: Nuh-uh.
Kid 1: It is, too! Cuz of the murders!
Kid 2: What murders?
Kid 3: Dude. All the murders. A bunch of people died in that movie.
Kid 2: Well, I know that, but it wasn't from murder.
Kid 1: Yes, it was!
Kid 2: Who got murdered?
Kid 3: That guy was shooting. And someone committed suicide.
Kid 2: *looks skeptical*

Later:
Kid 1: I took a lot of notes already!
Kid 2: Not as much as me.

I told Kristen that this is exactly what our conversations would be like if we were 10-year-old boys. Or 30/31-year-old us.

And the wanting comes in waves...

2009-10-15T14:49:00.000-07:00

Friday night, I got to see a pretty awesome concert in the Cities with Kristen and Kate. Tell me, have you ever heard of The Decemberists? Yes, I *am* looking smug right about now.

Opening act was Laura Veirs. Kristen's been a big fan for years now, but I only knew a couple of songs. Yay for me, Ms. Veirs sang one of them: "Galaxies."

Unlucky for all of us, some douche in the row behind us kept talking through her first few songs. Not a whisper to the person next to him, but full-out, normal voice or louder. Despite several of us turning around and glaring, and Kristen shushing him once, he continued on. What can a girl do? Well, if you're me, you turn around and stare him down, then once you know you have his attention, loudly and slowly say, "SHUT. UP." Oh, sure, his face will turn red and he'll mumble back, "YOU shut up," but it won't affect you. Because he'll then get up with his buddy and leave for the next 30 minutes and you'll have your fellow concert-goers cheer you on. So, really, it's worth it.

Also? We met Laura Veirs after the concert and got her CD autographed. Check out July Flame; it's gorgeous AND you can get two free tracks! Plus, one song is adapted from an Arthur Rimbaud poem. Be still, my heart!

Then the Decemberists took stage. Oh, wait. I guess technically they took the stage while Laura Veirs sang, inundating her band with remote control vehicles. So the second time they took the stage, they played the entire tracklist of "Hazards of Love." Pretty sweet, ya'll.

That chick on the far left of the picture, Shara Worden of My Brightest Diamond, is phenomenal. She is a freaking powerhouse! I have a bit of a girl crush on her now. (Don't worry, Neko Case; you're still my No. 1 gal!) During encores, she sang Heart's "Crazy on You." Gave me goosebumps!

And we can't forget about Colin Meloy.

Delish! And he came down from the stage and walked through the audience, stopping at our aisle! He was about seven people away from me!

Chick on the right here? I don't know her name; I called her Ghost of Christmas Past. She creeped me out with her hippy dancing. *sigh* Fine. Her voice *was* incredible. I'll give her that.

Great show, though. Really a lot of fun! Except when douche came back to his seat and started playing the air mandolin. What a maroon.

Quote of the night
Kate, Kristen and I were walking to the concert venue, passing by The Orpheum, which was putting on a production of 101 Dalmations (it said so in bright lights). A tent was set up outside to house the dogs when not in use. They suddenly all started barking. Kristen got a deeply sad look on her face as she looked around to spot where the noise was coming from.
Kristen: Ooohhhh! Is someone having a dog fight?

No, Kate and I have not let her live it down. And neither should you.

"A house needs a grandma in it." ~Louisa May Alcott

2009-10-14T12:30:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't written in a long time, haven't even felt like it. I've shared almost everything on this blog, though mostly I've kept it light and funny. Today I'll explain a little of why I've been so silent of late.

I guess things started to take a toll on me over the summer, and I didn't feel it was appropriate to be sharing with the world. As you know, I've lived with my grandparents since college. About the time I moved in, my grandmother, Lorraine, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Medicine can only slow down the disease so much, and the last year and a half got pretty tough. We never left Grams alone; she couldn't cook anymore; we had to lock the closet doors because she spent most of her days rummaging and "discovering" things.

And then the days started coming faster and faster when she didn't remember my grandpa. Now, my grandma has always been a feisty lady. If a stranger budged in front of her in line at Burger King, she wouldn't hesitate to put them back in their place. If someone marked their wicker basket at $5 at their garage sale, Grandma's look of contempt would not be hidden. I'm pretty sure I take after her more than anyone else. So when she started to not recognize her own husband, thinking he was a bossy stranger, you'd better believe things turned ugly.

Then she thought her dead brothers would come take her back home. Or she worried her father, dead more than 30 years, would wonder where she was. Every day--every hour--was different from the next. "Well, let's go home," she'd say. So we'd take her for long drives two or three times a night, then pull into the same driveway at the same house we'd left from, and she'd be satisfied that she'd left someplace and was now home.

When she didn't recognize us, she tried escaping the house, and it didn't usually go well. Through this past July, I'd wake up about 25-30 times a night, hyperalert for movement or noises, fearing Grandma might fall down the stairs or make her way outside. It was mentally and physically exhausting.

On Aug. 3, my grandfather, uncle and aunt took my grandma to a nursing home. The hardest part was that she had so many lucid moments. Though, yes, it was more frequent that she was constantly trying to leave, to "go home," there were just as many times when she was lovingly kissing her husband, patting his cheeks, calling him sweetheart, telling him she loved him. I can't even tell you how many times in her first three weeks at the nursing home we almost went back to bring her home again.

It's been hard on our family, especially my grandpa. He celebrated 60 years of marriage with her in June; now he drives 11 miles to visit for a couple of hours with her. Sometimes she begs to come home. More recently, she's blank. The downhill march of Alzheimer's is so much quicker than you'd expect.

Nothing is the same without her. She used to bake all the time; Gramps has quite the sweet tooth. Grandma used to work at the church, donating time and talents with cooking, cleaning, etc. She was a wonderful crafter, sewing draft dodgers, pillows, wall hangings, crazy little snowmen. She used to make these gorgeous baskets with lights and pine cones that she'd highlight with glittered paint. I remember several winters where I accompanied her to craft fairs, where she sold all her goodies. She loved coffee, and she always ate weird food combinations, like a hunk of cheese, a gingersnap cookie, and a handful of peanuts. She hated Judge Judy, or "that old bitch," as Gram called her. She loved "Wheel of Fortune" and "Jeopardy!" and playing Yahtzee. She has knickknacks galore in the house.

Everywhere you look, you see her. Except she's not there. That's the hardest of all.

Worst hair salon ever!

2009-07-19T14:49:00.000-07:00

Don't have your 4- (almost 5!) year-old pretend to be your hair stylist. My sister learned this the hard way last night.

It took me an hour and a half to detangle her hair from the comb, which had been twisted through several times. Amanda called me in a panic, certain we'd have to cut it out. But I worked at slowly releasing just a few strands at a time, utilizing a giant tw0-pronged meat fork to loosen the hair at the base of the comb. Eventually, I was successful. But not before taking some pics of the deed. I'm evil, aren't I? But not as evil as the pretend hair stylist. Look at this jerk:

Arrive'd!

2009-06-24T15:53:00.000-07:00

I flew into Salt Lake City, Utah, last Wednesday to visit friends. Here are my very first glimpses of the gorgeous city.

From the plane:

Driving to Rachel's house from the airport:

So beautiful!

The crew!

2009-06-24T15:42:00.000-07:00

My fave blog friends! Here are RC and Towr, two ladies both named Rachel who are hilarious, smart, and fabulous tour guides!

And what Utah vacay would be complete without meeting Carina, aka Jet_Set, who is ever in the know about fashion, politics, food, and generally everything else.

I also met Carrie, aka Kiki, who was funny and who takes Rock Band very seriously! Why didn't I get a pic of her as well? Grr!

Exploring the city!

2009-06-24T15:09:00.000-07:00

Here we are at the LDS convention center. Rich history, blah blah blah, OOH! A mirror! Let's take a picture!

Some pretty glass thing hanging above a water fountain.

On the roof of the convention center, in front of yet another water fountain.

Across the way, the LDS temple. I think.

At the Daughters of the Pioneers museum, I literally gasped "LIZ LEMON?" when I saw this portrait of a pioneer.

The view from the top of the Salt Lake City Public Library.

Why didn't I take a picture of the library itself? No idea.

RC and I pose with the mountains behind us. Such beautiful weather there.

Towr and I. This is also on top of the library roof.

We then drove through the canyon and pulled over at this reservoir.

I suggested we start climbing up this mountain/giant hill.

You can see what I shortly thought of my hiking suggestion.

But the view was worth it!

Worth the heart palpitations, ragged breathing, and cough that lingered for next two days.

The eats!

2009-06-24T14:42:00.000-07:00

A very small selection of all the goodies I tried whilst on vacay. The first night we ate at a restaurant called Cafe Rio, which I truly enjoyed! Delish Mexican food. And the second day RC and Towr talked me into trying my very first sushi restaurant. At Shogun, I had some tempura (?) veggies: carrots, potatoes, zucchini, and, I think, shrimp. Or was it crab?

Then, on to the sushi rolls. We tried four rolls: spicy tuna (which I confess I never did try), the Vegas, the Shogun, and the California roll. Official verdict? Meh. I'm really glad I tried it, though, and especially with the Rachels.

After attending a farmers market where we got rained out, Towr and I headed to Bruges, a place specializing in Belgian waffles and fries. I ordered the vanilla waffle with dark Belgian chocolate and fresh sliced strawberries. Delish! But I also pigged out on Rachel's order of fries, which, I kid you not, were the. best. fries. I've EVER eaten. Nothing will ever compare. *sigh*

And at a fast food place called Iceberg, you could get a regular soda or a mini shake with your meal. I ordered the house special triple berry mini shake, and Rachel got the butterscotch. I expected a drink smaller than the small size. Yeah. These were bigger than a large size. Maybe they don't know what "mini" means? Also? Not really a shake since you had to eat it with a spoon. Yummy, nonetheless.

Scenery, etc.

2009-06-24T13:58:00.000-07:00

Some excellent views as Towr and I drove to Park City.

The awesome outlet mall where I spent $200 *alone* at the Fossil store.
Since I work at a newspaper, I had to take a picture of the building where two of Salt Lake City's newspapers are printed. This building tries to emulate the skyline and "fails, in my opinion," says Towr.

The copper mine, which you can see from space.

At Rachel's parents' house for Father's Day, they all suggested places for her to take me. Her brother, John, suggested the copper mine.

Towr: You can see it from my house!

John: YOU CAN SEE IT FROM SPACE!

Towr: You can see your FACE from space!

John: You can see your BUTT from space!

Towr: You can see your MOM'S BUTT from space!

I'm pretty sure it kept going after that.

Dino Day!

2009-06-24T13:28:00.000-07:00

My last full day in Utah was dubbed Dino Day. TOWR and I started out the morning at a dinosaur museum in Thanksgiving Point. Here's the outside of the building.

Standing beside a ginormous leg bone, just to give an idea of how large some of those dinos were.

I don't remember the names of any of the skeletons we saw. But these creepy things remind me of crocs, and me no likey.

Another creepy predator.

I just thought this was a cool picture. I couldn't even fit the whole dinosaur in the camera frame.

I think this is a velociraptor. I'm doing sort of a part "I'm scared!" pose partnered with Will Ferrell's "He's right behind me, isn't he? I knew it."

Yeah. He looks much more frightening without me mucking it up.

Two T-Rexes. Way too enormous to get in the frame.

The museum showed other eras besides the Jurassic age. I don't know quite what this was from, but this was one monster shark! My head was like the size of one of its eyes!

After the museum, we continued Dino Day with a trip back to the Fossil store and then a viewing of "Land of the Lost." I enjoyed the movie, but Rach found it stupid. Not that it wasn't stupid; I just happened to find that particular brand of stupid amusing.

More scenery. Ooohhh!!

Wisconsin

2009-06-24T12:57:00.000-07:00

Beautiful Wisconsin sunset on the drive home.

Jersey kept us entertained with songs she made up. "My cloud-shaped heart, whoooaaa, I've got love in my heart! If the love is gone, then my heart stops. But I'm still alive. Whooooaaaaa. I'm still alive!" Okay, that last part sounds a bit like Pearl Jam, but she didn't sing it that way.

Looks kind of like purple mountains!

Good old Wisconsin farmland. Almost home.

Oohh! Pretty!

2009-05-17T15:55:00.000-07:00

A few pictures I took outside my house today. I love the colors!

Imagine two people making love on a unicorn ... My life is the opposite of that.

2009-05-12T14:18:00.000-07:00

Funny stuff, yo:

As I was purchasing some delish chocolates for Mother's Day (okay, and some for myself, too) at a local shop, Kristen perused the greeting cards. She shoved one in my face.
Kristen: Ugh! How come they always have my birth flower on sympathy cards?
Me: Because they're sorry you were born?
The clerk snickered.

K-Lo and I wrote another hit song. And by "wrote," I mean we just sang things that made us laugh, and by "song," I mean it's only a few lines. It's a hip-hop song about robots wanting some lovin'. It goes something like this:

"I was all like, 'Bleep Bleep.' And she was like, 'Bloop Bloop.' Then I said, 'Baaabeeeee, we got to get to get togethaaaa...'"

That's all we've got. I picture Andy Samberg singing it.

The other day as I was leaving for work, my uncle Don tried to get my attention.
Don: Hey, Dad? Uh, I mean April.
Me: *deep voice* Yes, son?
He smirked, then said whatever he'd planned on saying.
Me: *deep voice* Well, just try your hardest, son. I'll be proud of you.
As I was walking out the door, I began singing "Cat's in the cradle with the silver spoon ..."
Don: Great song! Who sang it? (he always knows who sang every freaking song and always quizzes me)
Me: I don't know.
Don: I'll give you a hint. The initials are H.C.*
Gramps: Hillary Clinton?

As Kristen and I drove through Eau Claire this weekend, some creep face swerved in and out of lanes in a jackass manner. I blurted out, "You douche puppet!" Then Kristen and I laughed a lot, and she sang the McDonald's theme song as "Bah da buh buh buh, I'm coinin' it!" She later decided she gets credit for the insult since she yelled "Coin'd!" before me.

We went to the Book It meeting in Rice Lake Saturday. I had warned Kristen that several of the group members were ten thousand times smarter than us, but she still didn't feel properly warned. After they discussed their reading material and gave us history lessons ...
(Sarah: ... four thirteenth-century sisters born into the minor nobility of medieval Provence. Although their origins were not as lofty as many others, Marguerite married Louis IX of France, Eleanor was wed to England's Henry III, Sanchia was married to Richard of Cornwall, who eventually was crowned king of Germany, and Beatrice assisted her husband, Charles of Anjou, in seizing the Sicilian throne.
Jonathan, Sarah's husband: So ... it's about royalty?
Sarah: I will beat you bloody.)
... Kristen whispered to me, "I feel like a moron." That about sums it up. :D

*The correct answer is Harry Chapin. If you were thinking it was Cat Stevens, you'd be in the majority but wrong. According to Stevens' Web site, he never performed the song, "not live, not in the studio, not even privately." Now you're a little less dumb for reading my blog. You're welcome.

"In the end I'm just the mean girl, or somebody's in-between girl"

2009-04-22T12:58:00.000-07:00

My Musical Weekend countdown has begun!

Friday night I'll be heading up to Sup-Town, armed with the $25 gift card to Barnes & Noble (sorry, Llew) I received for my birthday. And you can bet I'm gonna wear that sucker out!

Then Saturday Kristen and I are off to Minneapolis/St. Paul to begin our rocking. After many hours of shopping at the Mall of America, where we'll have lunch with dearest Jolene, her husband Mike, and daughter Kate, it'll be time for ... M. Ward! Woot!

Sunday will be spent (literally, I will return home broke, I'm sure) at Ikea, where I have no reason to actually shop there and nothing I really need to buy, but I'm sure I'll find something. And we may go to a movie at MOA, too. I'm hoping for Adventureland. And in the evening ... Neko Case! Woot Woot! (that's double the Woot!)

Did you know I found JV (from Bon Iver) on Twitter? I'm a good little Internet huntress.

And I'm pretty much in love with this print: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=15042332

The picture at the top, titled Gingerbread Forest, and this one, Lonely Moon Girl, were recent purchases from the Etsy shop TheBrilliantMagpie. Love everything on her site! I'm hoping one day she paints an authoress with curly brown hair and blue eyes.

Easter 2009

2009-04-15T15:19:00.000-07:00

The real highlight of my Easter was making my brother attempt to do a cartwheel, but since he won't let me post the hilarious video, you'll have to make do with these other pictures.

I picked up these sweet treats for the girls in Eau Claire. Yum, yum--frogs and ladybugs!

Jersey and Gram made these delish Easter basket cupcakes for the family.

The hunt for colorful plastic eggs began.

Aaliyah needed a little more help finding hers. In fact, she was happy enough with her first find that she had to be "egged" on to find the rest. haha. Sorry. I'll stop now.

After the egg hunt, they played on the swing/slide set for a while. A very brief moment where I could capture them sitting still and not arguing.

My mom took this picture. She was quite proud of herself.

Baptithed

2009-03-29T12:06:00.000-07:00

Jersey and Aaliyah were baptised a couple of weeks ago. Or as Aaliyah says, "baptithed." She has a lisp. It's hilarious. You should hear her say "shrimp."

Anyway, despite three people bringing cameras to the church to document the christening, we got barely any pictures. All the cameras died. Very mysterious. As I stood up to sponsor the girls, along with my brother and sister for each other's daughter, I heard a loud stage whisper behind me: "THE CAMERA DIED!" Ay yi yi.

Aaliyah was baptized first, the pastor sprinkling water across her forehead. Then after he repeated the action with Jersey, Aaliyah cried out, "Do it again!!" She also cried out a lot of other things during the entire service: "Where's Auntie April?" "Are we done yet?" "Can we have pancakes?"

During a short children's service, where any kids in attendance go up to speak with the pastor, Jersey was the lone participant. The message was supposed to be about how the words of the Bible are sweeter than honey. So the pastor asked Jerz if she liked sweet things, then held the microphone to her mouth. She just nodded. Then he said, "What is your favorite type of sweet things?" He held the mic out again. She replied, quite matter-of-factly, "Sugar!" The congregation cracked up. The pastor chuckled, saying, "Boy, you went straight for it, didn't you?" haha.

So, here's the one pic I was able to snap before my camera rebelled. Such little ladies.

When I got back home, I changed the camera batteries and was able to take a few more pictures. Then, mysteriously, the camera died another death. DUM-DUM-DUUUMMM!

I did take a pic of Jersey since she was the first one seated at the table for lunch. It made me laugh because when I was little, I also was always the first one ready to eat. (Cuz that's totally changed now... Er...) Here's my uncle Don with the Werz.

This actually is from my cousin's children's baptisms about a month ago. The theme is the same, so I included these for your enjoyment. Look at those cheeseballs.

One last pic of LiLi. She was shy around all the strangers. She barely left Gram's (my mom) side.

This and that

2009-03-14T07:34:00.000-07:00

I've been a slacker when it comes to blogging. But there are so many other venues for informing friends what's going on in my life that I just get lazy when it comes to my blog. I try to be creative on Twitter, on MySpace, on Facebook, in my writing group. Leaves me too tired for anything else.

So, what's new?

Jersey, 4-1/2, and Aaliyah, 2-1/2, are both getting baptized tomorrow morning into our Lutheran church. Which reminds me, I need to buy some white tights. Uh, for the girls, not for me. My legs already look like white tights.

We're having a small lunch afterward at my grandparents' house. I will be making my magically delicious crab salad. It's Mmm, Mmm good. I know, I'm mixing my food slogans, but I'm really okay with that.

Went to Rachel's (work Rachel) house last night for some Guitar Hero. Her dog is psycho, btw. Then we watched The Dark Knight. It was my first time watching it since opening night in the theaters, so I was anxious to see if it was as good as I remembered. It was better. There are very few times when "villains" actually do their job in scaring me, and even though I'd seen the movie before, Heath Ledger still creeped the bejeezus out of me. The Dark Knight kicks The Watchmen's ass down the road and back again.

And I may start taking a closer look at moving on. From this town, I mean, not the world. haha. *fingers crossed* My grandmother's Alzheimer's is progressing steadily worse. If--when--she goes to a nursing home, I'll need to find somewhere else to live. I'm pretty sure I'll head north, back to Superior. I miss it up there.

I wish I knew how to post videos from my phone to the blog. Ya'll are missing out on some cute Jersey & Aaliyah moments. Especially Jerz's "old chap!" clips. HUHlarious!

Tonight I'm meeting my Facebook Book It! group for the first time in Eau Claire! I know most of the people already, but I'll make some new acquaintances. Plus, hello? There will be pizza, and it will be goooood.

Two cents

2009-03-07T08:12:00.000-08:00

So, I guess the blog world is in a tizzy because someone stole posts from other blogs and passed it off as their own. (too lazy to linky link) It's lame, obviously, but it's not the end of the world, people. So this person is completely unoriginal and claimed the posts as her own. Big whoop. From the ones I read, the posts she copied were filled with general observations about spring and all it brings to mind.

I'm not making excuses for her. I don't even know who she is. But you know who I really feel sorry for? Not the people whose blogs were emulated, but for all the readers of Chicky's blog. They invested time and perhaps even an emotional attachment to whoever was writing. Come on, I can't be the only one who was pissed off when that Cordy's Helpless Romance or whatever the hell it was called turned out to be a steaming pile of bullcrap. When that so-called author sought comments and emails, posing as a young girl in emotional distress, that was a shitty thing to do. In comparison, shoplifting some thoughts on spring? Not so bad.

My funniness gets hijacked all the time! If I got angry every time it happened, I'd be on perma-simmer. I once had a girl who was dating the guy I liked (he was one of my best friends, so we had *everything* in common) start copying everything I did. I'd hear her use the same one-liners or jokes I'd said earlier, making it sound like she'd come up with it. She suddenly became a literature expert (until I tested her knowledge and found it severely lacking). People, she even freaking permed her hair!

And I swear to God Kristen and I came up with Beardface (pronounced Bay-ard-fah-say) long before Scrubs did.

Is it okay, then, for people to take credit whether credit certainly isn't due? No, not at all. But from what I've been able to see, the actual authors of the blogs that were getting ripped off are quite genial about it. Laughing, even. It's some others in the blog world who appear to be fanning the flames of self-righteousness. So before anyone decides to continue the finger-pointing, how about asking yourself when you last quoted a movie or TV show and didn't immediately follow it up with a disclaimer. Open blogs are in the public domain just as much as films and television.

Let's just hope this stealer-of-posts has learned her lesson, not to mention anyone else who may have been tempted to blog-lift. And if not, you know what they say: Imitation is the highest form of admiration.

Cuckoo-Cuckoo!

2009-02-22T11:34:00.000-08:00

I swear by everything that's holy, I'm surrounded by idiots like this every day of my life. (from my new favorite Web site, notalwaysright.com)

Surprisingly, This One Knows How To Read
Library USA

Library Patron: “Do you guys have books?”

Me: (I turn and give a side glance to the shelves of books on my right) “Nope. It’s all online.”

***

Accidental Lemonade From Lemons
Public Library Amsterdam, The Netherlands

Me: “Hi, can I help with anything?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for a good book.”

Me: “Do you have any specific genre or subject in mind?”

Customer: “Yes, a good one… one that I’ll like.”

Me: “Um, you’ll have to be a bit more specific. I don’t really know what you like. Science fiction, thriller, fantasy, horror, that sort of thing?”

Customer: “Well, don’t you know any good books?”

Me: “I haven’t actually read them all, but–”

Customer: “You haven’t? What kind of librarian are you? Isn’t there anyone here who can help me?”

Me: “This one–” *holding up a book* “–is pretty popular at the mo–”

Customer: “How do you know I’ll like it?! You can’t know that. I want a book that I’ll like.”

(I get frustrated and just grab a random book that was recently turned in.)

Me: “Here, you’ll love this one!”

(Unfortunately, she did like it, and told my boss to thank me for my great suggestion. Darn.)

***

Don't forget I've blogged about my fair share of the wackos.

2009, an update

2009-02-20T14:23:00.001-08:00

I'm sick of winter. Bring on spring already! There are rumors that next week will bring temp highs in the 40s. And in Wisconsin, that means shorts and tank tops. I mean, not me; I'd sweat to death before putting on shorts.

I joined a Facebook group that's reviving Book It! Remember when you were a kid and schools had Book It! challenges where you would read a certain number of books and earn a free personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut? Well, I think I enjoyed it a bit too much since my two favorite things are reading and eating, especially at the same time. *sigh* But I digress. I joined this group on Facebook, and we're gonna get together at a Pizza Hut next month. Fun!!

Kristen and I are going to see M. Ward in the Twin Cities in April, and then Neko Case the next day. I'm sure we'll hit the Mall of America, too. Will be a freaking awesome time! Maybe she'll knock some hotel sliding doors off their track again. One can only hope.

And in June I am packing my bags for a trip to Salt Lake City. It's part of our blogger exchange program. Last May, Towr came out here to visit, so now it's my turn. I'm hoping that Kristen will be able to come, too. And, fingers crossed, I'm hoping to finally meet RC and Azucar, as well. (Surprise, Zuc! Plenty of time to come up with an excuse not to meet me, though! haha)

2009 is looking pretty good so far.

I am the All-Knowing One. Sometimes.

2009-02-14T08:03:00.000-08:00

Do I know myself or what?

Last month I prophesied that on Valentine's Day I'd probably be watching the movie "He's Just Not That Into You."

Well, can't say I didn't warn myself. I'm going after work with my aunt. (Sidenote: I keep wanting to say "Oh my giddy aunt!" for some reason. Wonder what that's all about.)

I don't have any other V-Day plans, being single and all. Though I did mail out Valentines and mix CDs to my Lib+ ladies this morning. Yeah, you'll get them after the holiday, but big whoop. Better than nothing, right? Big, fat, lonely nothing. *sigh*

I guess I should've known Feb. 14th would be a let-down. My Valentine's Days peaked here, and nothing will ever live up to it. Well, I'm gonna go daydream about John Mayer now, and don't you dare interrupt with talk of his current girlfriend. Hmph.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I'm so money ...

2009-02-11T12:26:00.000-08:00

I have a guest blogger at my book blog, New Dork Times. Her name is Kelly Simmons, author of the book Standing Still, which I adored and reviewed here last April.

Please check out the post and make sure to leave a comment because Kelly will be giving away an autographed copy of her book!

Can you tell the difference ...

2009-02-06T14:27:00.000-08:00

... between Amy Adams and Isla Fisher?

Neither can I. I'm pretty sure they're the same person.

WTF?

2009-01-23T08:16:00.000-08:00

Why am I suddenly having dreams about getting it on with aging celebrities? This time I got busy with Patrick Swayze (circa 1989, Road House).

At least it wasn't the sickly Swayze (God bless him, I wish him the best of health! I just don't want to hit that.)

******************************************

I was helping my boss go through boxes of donated books the other day. She held up this book:

Boss: The Welshman's Way, huh? I wonder what is the Welshman's way?

Me: The usual. Tender brute force.

Also ...

2009-01-20T14:13:00.001-08:00

... I dreamed that I got it on with Alec Baldwin last night. So, yeah. That doesn't help my mood. *shudders*

I should make this blog private ...

2009-01-20T14:07:00.001-08:00

... because all I wanna do is bitch about a co-worker I can't freaking stand. Pretentious! Arrogant! Lazy! Loud! Braggadocio!

Oh, the vileness creeping up inside me.

Fourth annual book list

2009-01-02T21:09:00.001-08:00

I slowed down in 2008. And even some of the books I did get around to reading were ones I'd read before. Getting ready for the next in the series, etc. Oh, well. For better or worse, here it is (bold titles are those I highly recommend):

1) The Invention of Hugo Cabret, by Brian Seltzer
2) Many Bloody Returns, edited by Charlaine Harris
3) 20th Century Ghosts, by Joe Hill
4) Heartsick, by Chelsea Cain
5) Heartstopper, by Joy Fielding
6) Atonement, by Ian McEwan
7) Falling Boy, by Alison McGhee
8) Airman, by Eoin Colfer
9) Demons are a Girl's Best Friend, by Victoria Laurie
10) The Next Thing on my List, by Jill Smolinski
11) The Dead Room, by Heather Graham
12) Looking for Salvation at the Dairy Queen, by Susan Gregg Gilmore
13) Standing Still, by Kelly Simmons
14) The Society of S, by Susan Hubbard
15) Flip-Flopped, by Jill Smolinski
16) Twilight, by Stephenie Meyer (ever hear of it?)
17) The Year of Disappearances, by Susan Hubbard
18) From Dead to Worse, by Charlaine Harris
19) Vampire Academy, by Richelle Mead
20) Remember Me? by Sophie Kinsella
21) The Host, by Stephenie Meyer
22) Unzipped, by Lisa Greiman
23) New Moon, by Stephenie Meyer
24) Unplugged, by Lois Greiman
25) Unscrewed, by Lois Greiman
26) Certain Girls, by Jennifer Weiner
27) The Third Angel, by Alice Hoffman
28) Crave, by Cathy Yardley
29) The Girl Who Stopped Swimming, by Joshilyn Jackson
30) Eclipse, by Stephenie Meyer
31) Breaking Dawn, by Stephenie Meyer
32) Unmanned, by Lois Greiman
33) The Likeness, by Tana French
34) Undead and Unworthy, by MaryJanice Davidson
35) At a Crossroads: Between a Rock and My Parents' House, by Kate Williamson
36) Domestic Affairs, by Eileen Goudge
37) I Am Legend, by Richard Matheson
38) Sweetheart, by Chelsea Cain
39) The Graveyard Book, by Neil Gaiman
40) The Killing Circle, by Andrew Pyper
41) The Chris Farley Show, by Tom Farley Jr.
42) Serena, by Ron Rash
43) Schooled, by Anisha Lakhani

There were several others I started in 2008 and either couldn't get through or just have had to put them aside to get library books read. Such as:
1) Lonely Werewolf Girl, by Martin Miller (still reading)
2) Wicked: Witch & Curse, by Nancy Holder (horrible, donated to library)
3) North of the Port, by Anthony Bukoski
4) Reading in the Dark, by Seamus Deane (excellent writing)

Books collecting dust that I WILL get to:
1) Finer Things, by Neil Gaiman
2) Angelika, by Arthur Phillips
3) The Monsters of Templeton, by Lauren Groff
4) The Historian, by Elizabeth Kostova
5) Soon I will be Invincible, by Austin Grossman
6) Vampire Zero, by David Wellington
7) More Book Lust, by Nancy Pearl

And the newest to my collection given as gifts that I will soon get to:
1) A Whisper of Blood, edited by Ellen Datlow
2) Un Lun Dun, by China Mieville
3) Pippi Longstocking, by Astrid Lindgren (though technically I read it like 10 times when I was a kid, I still want to read it again)
4) City of Bones, Book One, by Cassandra Clare
5) City of Ashes, Book Two, by Cassandra Clare

I just wanna use your love tonight...

2008-12-28T14:36:00.000-08:00

BTW, Kristen and I saw Bon Iver on Dec. 22 in Eau Claire. My second time seeing him this year, her third. We weren't allowed to take pictures, unfortunately. In fact, we saw someone get their camera taken away at one point. Lame!

Anyway, here's a video someone posted from a previous concert. MF HAWT cover of The Outfield's "Your Love." Gets cut off at the end, but it'll just force you to seek out the rest of his songs on YouTube, so I'm okay with it.

Christmas 2008

2008-12-28T13:07:00.000-08:00

We celebrated our Christmas on Saturday. Here the girls pose with me before bolting off to dig under the tree.

Aaliyah was the biggest culprit. She couldn't keep her sticky fingers off the presents.

She soon got to open the first present: a Christmas moose from her great-grandma.

Then Jersey followed suit with her own gift from great-grandma, a teddy bear.

I got the girls each the softest little lamb from Bath & Body Works. I wanted to keep them for myself.

Jersey got a guitar and dropped all other clothes, dolls, and kitchen-set goodies to rock out.

Gram also got them this adorable pop-up tent with Dora the Explorer and Boots on the side.

But I think this was their favorite: a Barbie house with furniture, two Corvettes, a hot-pink bicycle, and a pink sparkly Barbie scooter.

In case you're wondering what goodies I received:

"Do I listen to pop music because I'm miserable or am I miserable because I listen to pop music?" ~John Cusack

2008-12-18T14:23:00.000-08:00

While rummaging around in my closet today, looking for any Christmas presents I may have hidden away that still need to be wrapped, I found a great treasure: a shoebox filled with my old cassette tapes. Strap on your seatbelts, kids. It's time to take a ride through April's Musical Journey! Wheeee!!!

1) New Kids on the Block ~ Merry Merry Christmas. (As if you doubted I'd have that one.)

2) Garth Brooks ~ The Hits. (Yes, I used to listen to country. Quite a bit, I'm afraid. Don't worry; there's more.)

3) Christian mix tape ~ Titled "Lirpa's Mix," this tape held such hits as "Breakfast," by Newsboys (sample lyric: "When the toast has burned and all the milk has churned and Captain Crunch is waving farewell, when the big one finds you may this song remind you that they don't serve breakfast in hell." Awesome, right?) and "His Cheeseburger," by Veggietales, which I used to annoy the crap out of Krista by singing constantly.

4) 12-year-old April's mix tape ~ Featured gooey '90s sweetness, like Belinda Carlisle's "Summer Rain," Eric Carmen's "Make Me Lose Control," and Better Midler's "From a Distance."

5) Pearl Jam ~ Ten. I was in love with "Jeremy."

6) Aerosmith ~ Greatest Hits. I think they've had like eight different "greatest hits" compilations, though.

7) 19 Hot Country Requests, Vol. III. I really think this was my mom's.

8) We Welcome You ~ Praise and Worship Music Sampler. I got this as a freebie when I was a fundraiser for a Christian group in college. Never listened to it.

9) Culture Club ~ Colour by Numbers. Not an original; my mom copied it from someplace else. Then I stole it from her. :)

10) Celine Dion ~ "All by Myself" single. On the flip side "Because You Loved Me," theme song from the movie "Up Close & Personal." hahaha!

11) Sarah McLachlan ~ "Adia" single, also featured "Angel" and "I Will Remember You."

12) New Kids on the Block ~ Hangin' Tough. 17 years later, I finally made it to a concert.

13) Christian mix ~ Jars of Clay. I think I got this from my college freshman roomie. If I remember correctly, the other side has Matchbox 20 songs! ha!

14) The Best of the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band ~ 20 Years of Dirt. In my defense, as a little girl I loved the songs "Mr. Bojangles" and "Dance Little Jean." That's a defense, right?

15) The Best of '60s Sock Hop. I used to be obsessed with oldies. This tape had two of my fave songs, "I'm a Believer," by the Monkees, and "Runaway," by Del Shannon.

16) Love song mix from my ex ~ Puke. They're all country, plus one song by Britney Spears.

17) Laughing Hyena ~ Jeff Foxworthy. Ugh. Yes, it's one of those "You Might be a Redneck if ..." tapes. My stepdad gave it to me when I was like 15. You're right, judgmental reader. There IS no excuse for having this tape.

18) Deana Carter ~ Did I Shave My Legs For This? Obviously country. But I loved the song "Strawberry Wine." I really wanted to be that high school girl who lost her virginity to the college boy. It was the Harlequin in me, I suppose.

19) Celine Dion ~ Self-titled album.

20) Mix from Cara in high school ~ Featured "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now," by Starship, "I Want to Know What Love Is," by Foreigner, and "Let's Hear It For The Boy," by Deniece Williams.

21) Hootie & the Blowfish ~ Cracked Rear View. I'm pretty sure I got it at a garage sale. Best find ever?

22) Boyz II Men ~ Cooleyhighharmony. I wore that bad boy OUT!

23) Jeff Carson ~ Country, of course. My mom got it for me because we like the song "The Car." It made her sad cuz I was going off to college.

24) "Cocktail" soundtrack ~ Who didn't own this one?

25) Tim McGraw ~ Not A Moment Too Soon. Fine. I admit it. I used to have a crush on him. Happy now, jerks?

26) Whitney Houston ~ "I Will Always Love You" single. Loved it. Loved "The Bodyguard." Loved her. Loved Costner. Loved it.

27) "The Sound of Music" soundtrack ~ Meow, Captain Von Trapp.

28) Meredith Brooks ~ "Bitch" single. I could swear and not get in trouble! It was awesome!

29) Bon Jovi ~ Keep the Faith. Only song I liked was "Bed of Roses."

30) Shai ~ If I Ever Fall In Love. Loved that song and its follow-up "Baby I'm Yours."

31) Ritchie Valens ~ I don't know why. I blame the movie "La Bamba."

32) Whitney Houston ~ I'm Your Baby Tonight. Great album. I love me some Whitney.

33) Mariah Carey ~ Self-titled album. Dudes, I totes sang along with this tape every night! My stepdad continually yelled up the stairs for me to shut up. But nothing could hold back my tear-filled rendition of "I Don't Wanna Cry."

34) Soho ~ "Hippychick" single. I have no idea why I got this tape, or how I'd ever even knew the song.

35) 20 Greatest Hits 1961 ~ Only song I even know on there is "Duke of Earl."

36) "Boomerang soundtrack " ~ I have a perfectly logical explanation for this, so put down your pitchforks and torches. I wanted the Boyz II Men album with the song "End of the Road" for Christmas. So my grandma went to Sam Goody (now out of business) and asked exactly for the tape with that song. And they give her this soundtrack, which does have the song, but it wasn't what I wanted. What would you have me do? Spit in my dear Gram's face? I think not!

37) John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band ~ "Eddie and the Cruisers" soundtrack. Shut up.

38) John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band ~ "Eddie and the Cruisers II" soundtrack. Shut up!

39) Toby Keith ~ Ay yi yi. I'm ever so regretful. I really liked the song "Should've Been a Cowboy."

40) "Les Miserables" soundtrack ~ Saw the show in high school. My stepdad bought me this tape in Eau Claire. Then on the way home, he fell asleep at the wheel and almost killed us. Ah, memories.

41) New Kids on the Block ~ Merry Merry Christmas. Duplicate from Kristen.

42) Mix from Jolene ~ Features "In the Ghetto" (I forget who sang that version) and "At Last," by Etta James.

43) College graduation mix from Jolene ~ Featured "April Come She Will," by Simon and Garfunkel, and "Alone," by Heart.

Now, return the favor and name some of your more embarrassing musical memories. I know you have some!

Bedtime Stories

2008-11-27T13:44:00.000-08:00

Last weekend, Jersey slept with Gram (my mom) while her mother was partying with me and my friends. She was scared of the deer antlers on the wall, so to keep her mind off it, she and Gram made up bedtime stories.

Jersey: Once upon a time, there was a little brown dog named Brauny. And he was a pissin-on-the-floor, poopy shitster. He made poop piles everywhere with poop cherries on top. Your turn to tell a story, Gram.

Gram: Okay. Once upon a time there was a beautiful girl named April. And all the boys wanted to be her boyfriend.*

Jersey: And she had a very, very, very, very, very beautiful dress. And she was gonna go to the ball!

Gram: When she got to the ball, all the boys wanted to dance with her.**

Jersey: (gets ornery look, narrows eyes) But she couldn't dance with anyone. She couldn't even hug 'em cuz ... (evil look on her face) ... cuz her arms were too short!

*Obviously a fairy tale.
**Obviously.

Reason #4,381 I don't have a boyfriend

2008-11-20T11:59:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago when either Kristen was coming to visit me or I was going to visit her, I wrote in the email "See ya son!" I meant "See ya soon," but it spawned a phase where we've begun referring to each other as father/son.

Here's a conversation via Gmail chat from today. I was commenting on K-Lo's Gmail status, where she'd written "happy birfday april!"

Me: Awww, thanks for changing your gmail status just for me!

Kristen: Any time, son. Any time.

Me: You're a good dad. I don't care what anyone else says.

Kristen: I try my best, son. You know I couldn't always make it to your basketball/hockey/tennis games, but I was there in spirit.

Me: You were indeed. And the times you were there, well, you were drunk and obnoxious, sometimes even cheering for the opposite team. But I knew you meant well.

Kristen: I get confused sometimes, son. The crack doesn't help either.

Me: I told you to buy a belt.

Kristen: But you know I'd only whip you with it. That's why I only wear suspenders.

Me: True. You're always thinking ahead, Pop.

"I'm not together, but I'm getting there."

2008-11-19T10:56:00.000-08:00

Life goes by fast. Ten years ago I was a sophomore in college. I was majoring in English literature, with no real plans for a career other than triumphantly exclaiming "I want to be a writer!"

I spent my spare time reading. I avoided homework. I had a mad crush on a boy I'd nicknamed Hot Boomer.

Fast forward to 2008.

I still want to be a writer, and though I do belong to a writers group, I avoid doing the work for as long as possible. I spend all my spare time reading (with the occasional Guitar Hero). And this summer I bumped into Hot Boomer (still hot), resulting in a renewed crush.

I guess that old adage is true: The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Click, Click, Click

2008-10-22T11:34:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a lovely post about my adventure to the Twin Cities. I'll take you on a pictorial tour of St. Paul. Here we have the beautiful state library.

Wait. What's this? My sister and I at a concert? Hmm. What concert could it be?

Oh, that's right. NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK!

Face time with Donnie Wahlberg.

Showing us they still have the right stuff.

For you closet Joey Mac fans.

Look! It's my boyfriend Jon Knight with his brother Jordan!

Jon and Joe. So close, yet so far away.

They surprised the crowd by popping up in the middle of the audience with a piano on a turning stage. It was hawt. I also have video, but I haven't listened to it to see if you could actually hear them and not just screaming fans (i.e. me).

Official concert verdict? Awesome.

So, I guess there was no tour of the Cities. Sorry. We did eat at a pricey restaurant with substandard fare, though. And it was totes awesome to see two college friends again, Jessica and Carolyn. I'd post their pic, but I didn't ask for their permission. I'm sensitive like that.

Opening act was some chick I'd never heard before. Teri Chynn or something. Up next was Natasha Bedingfield, who was pretty good. And NKOTB rocked the house, yo. It was the longest concert I've ever been to, and they were high-energy the entire time. And really funny, actually! The only bad thing was that the couple to my left were the biggest sticks in the mud ever. They never cheered, never sang along, never threw their hands in the air and waved them like they just didn't care. They sat through the first half, the girl lounging on her boyfriend's shoulder. Second half, they stood hugging and staring blankly. WTF? Don't go to a concert if you're going to act like that, lamies!

Carolyn and Jess had cheap seats, so they were on the other side of the Xcel Center. Amanda and I had awesome seats! Despite what it may look like by my crappy camera, we were actually quite close. Close enough to see facial expressions without looking at the giant screens.

If you have the opportunity to see NKOTB, but you're holding off because you're afraid they'll only play their new songs or that it just won't live up to your previous, 11-year-old expectations, fear not! They were so good! My sister and I knew almost every song, and Carolyn and Jess, who didn't know any of their new songs, had a great time. Carolyn, who is the last person you'd think of going to one of their concerts, kept repeating how awesome it was and that she was surprised at what a good time she had. So get off your butts and grab some tickets!

"I swear I've seen a lot of things in my life, but that... was... awesome! But sorry about your car, man. That... that sucks."

2008-10-17T10:59:00.000-07:00

So last night Carol and I went to see Tom Farley, brother of the late Chris Farley, speak about his book "The Chris Farley Show." He was funny, as one might guess. After mocking one teen boy about his improv performance, he said, "As far as you know, I'm joking." ha! I laughed a lot at that.

Afterward I got my program autographed. His pen hovered above the paper as he contemplated what to write. I told him, "'You're awesome' will do just fine." Cuz I'm cheeky like that. Instead, he wrote, "To April: HOLY SCHNIKIES! -Tom Farley." It was perfect because Krista and I used to quote Tommy Boy all. the. time. in college. I bought a copy of the book as a Christmas present for Krista, but I won't tell you what he wrote inside since I have to let her have some surprise when she opens the present. It's perfect, though. And in the copy Carol got for the library, he wrote, "No library fines on this book! Just donate heavily to your public library."

Also, when Tom saw my "Living in a van down by the river" T-shirt, which I even forgot I was wearing because I was all excited to meet him, he just grinned. "Great shirt!" he said. "Love it! Great, great shirt!"

Then I passed on a story to him about a girl I knew from college who had met Chris when he frequently came back to the high school (where she went as well) guidance office to talk, and how he tried flirting with her but she didn't know who he was. Tom nodded his head. "Yup, that was Chris. That's where he was comfortable, where his roots were. That sounds exactly like Chris."

I walked away smiling, but it was sad, too. Chris Farley was my idol. In college, Krista and I were the dorky girls (sorry, CK, but it's true) whose idea of fun wasn't partying and drinking, it was watching Tommy Boy and saying each line at the same time it was being said. We were in love with every moment of that movie, and each time we watched it we'd find something new to crack us up. I've heard people say that Chris Farley only did the same character over and over, but it wasn't the characters that we loved. It was him.

"I found a dead cat on the side of the road so I took it home and put some honey on it and I cooked it and I ate it, is that bad? do do do doooo"

2008-10-08T11:12:00.000-07:00

Friday night Kristen and I watched some total cheesy/horror movies that she'd Netflix'd. First up was House on Haunted Hill, with Vincent Price. I started the weekend's joke-off by making "Pew! Pew!" sound effects when Vincent Price held a wine bottle like a gun. After Kristen finally finished laughing, she said "April one, Kristen zero." It only got worse from there.

The second movie was It's Alive, about a deformed vampire-esque baby who killed people. Top of the line, my friends. We thought about how hilarious it would be for people trying not to bring up the word "baby" to parents with a monster child. So began three days of coming up with awkward conversation. "Yeah, last night I ate baby back ribs--awwwww!" "My favorite veggie is baby carrots--awwww!" "Sorry about your monster baby--awwwww!" (Dudes, if I had a video blog, you'd be crying with laughter right now.)

Also, when the movie switched to the baby's point of view, it was really blurry, so every time I sang "Double vision." Every. Time.

At Cranberry Fest, an old lady called Kristen Dorothy. And as we were trying to leave, a cop walked up to my car and said "And how can I disappoint you ladies today?" hahaha!

Saturday night at the drive-in, we watched Cave Women on Mars, a recently made, 1950s-style B movie. It was horrible. From the so-called futuristic way they called computers "comp-yuter" to the frequently remarked "What is this [fill in blank] you speak of?" And they had a character named Orla.

Highlights: I got some video on my cell phone of Kristen reading from Jane Eyre in a "British" accent and later meowing an operetta. If only she'd allow me to post it. And when a guy walked by eating Skittles, Kristen said she wanted to taste his rainbow. She got points for that one!

Also, I just have to say that Kristin Wiig on SNL made me laugh so hard in this Lawrence Welk Show skit that I was actually crying.

It's a war on war

2008-09-20T09:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, for two hours, I stood in the median of an extremely busy intersection during rush hour to protest the war in Iraq.

I was nervous. My knees were shaking.

But my friend Sharon and I were soon joined by about 10-12 others, all well-seasoned in protests. I was the only newbie. The banners/posters were all variations on the theme of ending the war. My friend and I held a long banner reading (if I remember correctly) "We stand in silence for lives lost in violence."

For the most part, people were really supportive. We got lots of good-natured honking, thumbs up, smiles, waves, and a few people shouted positive things. One carload of teenage boys started chanting "BARACK! BARACK! BARACK!" It kinda sounded like they were barking, but whatever.

Yes, there were a few dissenters. They showed their disapproval in the form of thumbs down, shaking heads, scoffs and revving of engines (I assume this meant they thought there was an unlimited amount of oil). One really pathetic creep stuck his head out the window and started screaming really vile racial epithets. I won't repeat them. I told Sharon it was a shame we couldn't cure ignorance.

One guy rolled down his window and yelled "Get a job!" at me. I was tempted to yell back, "I would if the economy weren't so bad!" But instead I saved all my snarky comebacks for Sharon, who laughed appreciatively.

Within five minutes of our arrival, a man in full military uniform drove by. He didn't acknowledge us in any way, positive or negative, but my first reaction was embarrassment. I fervently hoped he didn't think we were judging the actions of soldiers. I put that thought out of my head, though, because I think the best way we can support our soldiers is to bring them home. Or at least make sure they have the proper equipment and gear to survive and a clear objective in order to win a war. I think as it is, all those brave men and women who signed up to serve their country after 9/11 are having their sacrifice taken for granted by the government.

I guess there will be another protest next month, this time on a larger scale in a mall parking lot. A group of veterans against the war are supposed to be there as well. I'll update later with more information.

I had a comment on Facebook from someone who knew me, saying she was surprised to see me, a "mild mannered librarian," at a war protest. I am shy in crowds, and I hate confrontation--especially when it comes to election season and an issue with such polarity. I was nervous as hell, I don't mind telling you. But I'm hoping that gives you confidence to get involved somehow.

YEEEEESSSS!!!!

2008-09-10T14:55:00.000-07:00

Dear Every Tourist Who's Come To Town This Summer,
this card is for you.
Love, April

"There's only music now. There's only music now."

2008-09-07T12:47:00.000-07:00

Here are a few videos I keep coming back to:

Free Fallin - John Mayer

Speaking for myself

2008-09-06T13:11:00.001-07:00

I went to an Obama rally today with a couple of friends: Rachel (co-worker) and Sharon (former co-worker). We also found another friend, Ray (former co-worker), there as well.

This election year's rally was different from the 2004 rally I attended at the same place in that this time there were a few picketers with signs about abortion and gay rights. Because surely the issues I care about as a Democrat--health care, the economy, an end to the war, quality education, etc.--are worthless if I also believe a woman should have the final say over her own body and that two adults of the same sex can have a loving and committed relationship together if they so choose.

Politics--it's a hot topic that no one wants to touch. Not that I blame them. I've just edited the above paragraph three times so as not to overly offend anyone. But whatever. It's my blog and I'll outcry if I want to.

There were some great speeches made today. I especially liked one of the district representative's comments about Democrats too long turning the other cheek to Republican lies and that it's time to get angry and stand up to the bullying. I paraphrased, but it was quite moving. I'm tired of getting anti-Obama emails from people who think they're educating me but who in fact are just forwarding another person's propaganda, which always ends up being quotes taken out of context or just flat-out lies anyway. Educate yourselves, people! Don't believe everything sent in an email or what your neighbor says. Go to the source if you can, beginning with local and state representatives. Or visit offical Web sites that are approved by the candidate you're researching, so at least you know if he/she regards the information as truth.

I don't care what you believe in or for whom you want to vote--just don't get involved with the dirtyness of it all. Just know that someone else may have a different opinion, and that's not a reason to attack them.

Remix

2008-09-01T14:38:00.001-07:00

Labor Day weekend -- not much to tell.

I spent hours (hours!!) revising my story for the writers group. If they don't like this revision, I give up.

I spent hours (hours!!) figuring out which songs I wanted to change on my Hot -n- Creepy 2.0 mix for my friend Pete and finding the perfect balance of quiet yet not snooze-inducing tracks for TOWR's indexing mix.

I spent hours (hours!!) searching the Internet (mostly Etsy, Urban Outfitters, Anthropologie, Lush, and Sephora) for those perfect Christmas presents for friends and family. I figure if I buy one or two pressies per paycheck, then I won't be stressed when the holiday finally gets here. Some of ya'll (Azucar, RC Cola) are tough to shop for! Some of ya'll (Laura Llew, Kristen), there are waaaay too many goodies I'd love to get you. You'd have the bestest Christmas ever if I won the lottery. Fo sho!

I spent hours (hours!!) watching Season 5 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. What can I say? It's addicting.

And that's about it. I finally had a weekend where I didn't have plans, didn't have to hang out, and didn't have to spend money. It was rather nice, and I'm already dreading tomorrow because it's deadline day at the newspaper without all the extra regular work hours to complete stories. It's going to be s-t-r-e-s-s-f-u-l. I'd better get to bed early.

Show me the meaning of being awesome...

2008-08-24T15:48:00.000-07:00

The weather at the Minnesota State Fair was spectacular: sunny with a cool breeze. We decided to first check out the rides. Here is Amanda and my mom (Darla) before Mom and I jumped on the Fighter ride, which promptly made me want to vomit.

Then Amanda and I went on a ride called the Crazy Mouse, where I got a bruise on my right arm and she walked off with her pants unzipped. So, it was definitely an appropriately named ride. (That's me with wild hair sticking out of the top of the booth.)

Krista and I awaiting for the start of the concert.

Unfortunately, the first act was Girlicious, which they made sure we knew by repeating their names 42 times. Here are Amanda and Krista's reactions to the scantily clad, fake-haired, gyrating whores (pronounced Hoo-ers).

Cute pic of my sis as BSB time got nearer.

Sidenote: I made three random strangers laugh while at the fair. A fair (no pun intended) day's work, I must say.

The concert was pretty fun and wild. There was a great mix of guys and girls, and everyone screamed their hearts out and heads off. Aside from some jerky creeps in the section next to us who kept making comments to every girl who walked by, spilled their beer all over, and were obviously drunk and/or high, the crowd was awesome. The guys eventually were hauled out of the grandstand, to the delight of all around them.

I was too far away from the stage to take decent pictures, but here's one clip if you're interested.

BSB put on a very high-energy, exciting, and visually stunning performance, complete with several wardrobe changes and a solo by each group member. After the encore, fireworks burst in air to conclude the show.

Aaaaaand we're spent.

Also, today is Grandma's birthday. Happy 78th, Grandma!

"Now all your love is wasted? Then who the hell was I?"

2008-08-20T10:50:00.000-07:00

So Friday night Kristen and I went to the Twin Cities to see Bon Iver, with opening act AA Bondy. I wasn't sure I'd like AA. His CD didn't do much for me. But he's better in person and was actually quite funny. For example:

AA Bondy: "I don't believe athletes at the Olympics should be tested for drugs." *crowd cheers* "Personally, I want to see how fast they can go." *strums guitar* "This is a children's song."

Maybe you had to be there. It was pretty hilarious, though.

And Bon Iver? So MF awesome. Kristen and I managed to stand right up at the gate in front of the stage. She'd been to that venue before, so she was clever and knew exactly where to stand. At first we were behind another row of people, but before the concert even started, this guy and his girlfriend in front of me decided to leave their spot. He bent down and said loudly "Go for it!" And go for it I did, swooping in on that coveted gate spot like a vulture on roadkill. Now, it's possible that he was actually talking to someone else, but I didn't care. I heard "Go for it!" and nothing was stopping me.

The girl to Kristen's left kept elbowing her, dancing like a hoochie, and bumping her. The girl to my right annoyed me greatly by talking in a little girl voice, telling her guy friend "Feel my rock hard abs!" But she kept laughing at things Kristen and I said or did, so I forgave her for being everything I'm not. Plus, she knew one of the guys in the band, so I was kinda hoping we'd get to follow her backstage. (Didn't happen. She disappeared before the end of the encore. Her spot was swiftly snatched by a dorky guy who'd been yelling things all night like "That was very nice!" "Fantastic!" and "WONderful!")

I can't really tell you how spectacular Bon Iver was. There I was, just six feet from him, beating out 1,500 other people to be that close to him. He was funny, too. After we'd cheer for him, he'd bashfully shake his head and say "Thanks, yo." One time he tried to shush us, which just made the crowd cheer even louder. I yelled "Opposite!" Eh, maybe you had to be there. Here are some pics I took with my cell phone.

Also, in the dream I had later that night when telling other girls about how hot Bon Iver's music was, I may or may not have used the phrase "You'll cream in your jeans!" Also, I suffered from man voice all day Saturday due to screaming so much at the concert. But it was totally worth it.

Other highlights of the weekend:

~Bought Guitar Hero Aerosmith. I played it for two hours last night. Pro: they have a ton of guitar choices for characters and not every song is actually by Aerosmith. Con: When you play as Aerosmith, the design on the neck on screen where the fret buttons come down makes it super difficult to see the actual colors of the fret, so prepare to screw up a lot.

~K-Lo and I went to Michael's in Duluth so she could order matting for her Bon Iver poster, and we made the boy working there laugh several times. I got him started using the phrase, "In my professional opinion." Then after we found out that K-Lo's contact number at the store was still her parents' home number, we all made up an imaginary conversation about her mom calling to tell her Michael's had called. This is all of us speaking as Kristen's mom.

Boy: Um, somebody named Michael called. He wants to do arts and crafts with you?

Kristen: He wants you to come over right away.

Me: *excited voice* Are you dating someone? When do we get to meet him?

Boy: He sounds really nice!

~We saw "Tropic Thunder" in Duluth. It was pretty funny for the most part. The best thing of all was that Kristen ordered pretzel bites with nacho cheese at the concession stand before the movie started, and at first all she saw was the guy filling the container with enough cheese to drown a moose. "Why the crap is he giving me so much cheese?" she asked. I shrugged. Then he filled the rest of the container with the pretzel bites--there were about 30 of them the size of a fat man's big toe. We stared in horror. And then couldn't stop laughing. We ate like seven, total.

~I had breakfast at Hell's Kitchen in Duluth. Never been there before. It was excellent. And in Minneapolis, we had dinner before the concert at an Irish pub, where Kristen's sandwhich was called the James Joyce. My sandwich didn't have an awesome Irish name, so I renamed it the Flannery O'Connor.

~Bought a shload of Christmas pressies for my sister, which I'm using as an excuse to give her an early present. I can't tell you what it is yet because she might read the blog. But I'll tell you soon, dearies.

~Went to a craft fair at Glensheen Mansion in Duluth. It was a little "meh." Though I did buy a cute little vase. I'll take a pic soon. Anyway, we had to ride a schoolbus to and from the parking lot. On our return trip, this woman behind us had her nephew with, a toddler, and she kept asking him questions nonstop throughout the ride. Each new question was said in a progressively higher-pitched tone. "Are we on a bus? Is it yellow? Are you sure? Do you see the water? Where's the water? Do you see daddy? Is he behind us? Do you see your uncle? Is that his truck? Are you tired? Are you sleepy? Do you need a nap? Are you sure? Do you have the hiccups? Should I scare you? Boo. Did I scare you? Did I scare you? Boo. Did I scare you?"

UGH. So annoying. But then for the rest of the day, Kristen and I kept saying to each other "Do you have the hiccups? Should I scare you? Boo. Did I scare you?" And while we were playing the new Aerosmith Guitar Hero I bought, she did it again. Two minutes later, she got the hiccups. We couldn't stop laughing. Then she'd hiccup again in the middle of talking or laughing, and it made us screw up our game cuz we were laughing so hard.

~When I got home Monday morning, waiting there for me was the newest issue of Paste magazine, with the delish Bon Iver on the cover. WONderful.

~Friday night, Krista arrives. Saturday night, Backstreet Boys concert at the Minnesota State Fair. Will be boy band-alicious.

Birthday weekend

2008-08-10T14:36:00.000-07:00

It was Aaliyah's birthday Saturday, but she was sick and stayed at her mother's house. So we'll have presents for her next week. Jersey's birthday is technically tomorrow, but had a big lunch and cake and presents today. First we played outside. Here's Brauny next to one of Jerz's numerous lizard toys.

He likes getting his belly rubbed. But then, who doesn't?

Jerzy and Brauny like the sandbox.

Action shot. Look at that sand fly!

Her stripper name is Sandy Bottoms. hahaha! Er...no? Oh.

MWAH! Thanking Uncle Skunkle (that's what we call my brother) for the Play-doh.

Bruce the shark bubble blower from Gram.

New outfit from Gramps and "Little Gram."

Testing out her bubble-making skills.

2008-08-06T13:29:00.000-07:00

What does it mean when a boy asks if you plan on bringing someone with you to zombie night?

Aaliyah turns 2 on Saturday. I got her a musical Dora the Explorer See and Say.

Jersey turns 4 on Monday. I got her a (cheap) digital camera with three interchangeable face plates in various shades and designs of pink.

I turn 30 in three months. Kristen's making me a quilt because Lord knows I won't have anything else keeping me warm at night.

Bon Iver/AA Bondy concert in 10 days. Will attend with Kristen. We may also have another SingStar/Guitar Hero party

Backstreet Boys concert in 17 days. Will attend with Mom, Amanda and Krista. I know you can't wait for all the pictures I'll be taking.

Still revising ending of short story, but the writers group absolutely loved the new direction I'm taking it. I commented that it's difficult to write something in a more sinister way without making it cliched, like a villain twirling his mustache. They laughed. D says, "No, you wouldn't do that. That's something I'd do. You're way too talented for that garbage." I will accept that compliment. :)

Got my awesome T-shirt from Laura Llew that in blue sparkly embroidery reads "Team Edward: Cooler Than a Werewolf." I'm a million times more satisfied with the shirt than the actual book, even though I'm only halfway through reading it. Quite disappointing. Thank goodness the final Harry Potter book wasn't crappy like this. Ah, well. At least I have the movie "Twilight" to look forward to.

2008-07-26T17:06:00.000-07:00

Please help me. I've become addicted to Facebook. And really, it's not even as good as MySpace because you can't listen to music or anything. But I can't. stop. checking. it. Also, I've found so many high school and college friends on there. People I haven't seen or spoken to in years! I actually got teary-eyed after I found a couple of old friends.

Anyway. Amanda and I went to see the new X-Files movie today. I liked it while I was watching it, but reflecting afterward, it wasn't that great. I mean, it was ... but it wasn't. Wow, enlightening review, isn't it? I think Gene Siskel's job is safe. Er ... he's the one who's dead, isn't he? The other guy, then.

I bought these bowls online from Urban Outfitters yesterday. They're for my future kitchen. (Can't stop daydreaming about own place. Now, if I could only find perfect full-time job in my field of expertise.)

I was also tempted by this dinnerware, but $14 per plate? As Chris Rock playing a homeless man in an In Loving Color sketch once shrieked, "Good LAWD, that's a lotta money!" (Dudes, I totally dropped an old-school comedy reference on your collective asses.)

Also, currently obsessed with all things Adele. I especially love the song "Daydreamer."

"Wonder Boy, what is the secret of your power?"

2008-07-20T12:13:00.000-07:00

Rachel from work and I went to see "Batman: The Dark Knight" at the drive-in Friday night. It was pretty excellent; we were both pleased with it. There were several cringe-inducing moments that Heath Ledger's Joker gave us. And stupid freaking Matt Lauer gave a crucial plotpoint Thursday morning on the "Today Show," so I unfortunately already knew one thing. Ugh. Stupid bastard. Other than that, two thumbs up for the movie.

My mom got a new puppy at the house. He's a mix of Boston terrier, a Shih Tzu, and a chihuahua. His name is Brauny, named after my mom's favorite Milwaukee Brewer.

He's adorable and tiny and bite-y.

Mom made dessert the other day. As she was pulling the pan out of the oven, Jersey came up to her.

Jersey: What kinda cake is this, Gram?

Gram: These are lemon bars. Do you like lemon bars?

Jersey: Oh, yes. I love lemon bars! Except I haven't had them since military camp.

Jersey and her mom walking outside:

Jersey: Mom, what are those cracks in the sidewalk called?

Amanda: I don't know, Jerz. They're just cracks.

Jersey: No, according to my science book, the cracks in the sidewalk are made of needles. And needles are very dangerous.

I recently purchased a print from the LauraGeorge Etsy site, titled "Four Bookish."

I just picked it up from the frame shop yesterday and hung it over my bookcase.

Here's the other wall with my Gorjuss print, along with Jersey's handprints, a framed robot card from Kristen, and my fave photo from when Jersey was in the cutest baby contest:

I finished writing my second story for my writers group. I haven't had their reactions yet, but we meet Monday evening. Amanda, Mom and John loved it, though. After Mom quit crying, she croaked "Mediocre." ha!

My fave professor from my alma mater will be conducting a reading from his newest book at my library Wednesday night. I volunteered to make cookies. (Not just any cookies. They're chocolate mint cookies, and they're delish!)

My only other exciting news is that I joined Facebook. I know, quite the fascinating life I lead, isn't it?

Jerz on parade! (obviously to be sung to the tune of "Bulls on Parade.")

2008-07-05T15:16:00.000-07:00

Amanda, Jersey, my aunt Linda, and I went to the Fourth of July parade Friday, as did most Americans, I guess. Anyway, it was a pretty fun day. Jersey was all smiles.

Even when she saw the old man and his skunk, which has been a part of the July 4th parade as long as I can remember. I can still remember my sister getting excited to pet the skunk when she was little.

British clown police? Albino Native American? Foppish mime? All of the above?

Jerz in action. Gotta grab that candy before the other kids do!

No matter what we did, we could not keep that kid's pants up. She mooned just about every float that went by. The ones throwing candy, anyway.

We also saw some bizarre things this year:

After the parade, it was off to my mom's house for an old-fashioned cook-out, after which the girls went swimming.

Today is also my mom's birthday. I'm sure she'd appreciate me telling this little anecdote:

Jersey brought Gram (my mom) a "note" that she'd scribbled for her.

Gram: Oh, thank you, Jersey! *reading note* "Dear Gram, happy birthday. I love you very much. Love, Jersey."

Jersey: *stares at Gram with strange expression* But, Gram. That's not what it says. It says "Shark-infested waters."

Gram: *starts laughing*

Jersey: I think you need glasses.

"That reminds me of an episode of 'Reba.'"

2008-06-25T12:03:00.000-07:00

Krista came for a visit this past weekend, and now I'm blue cuz my life is boring again.

On Saturday we played all three of my SingStar games, and Krista beat me at almost every song. Plus, my voice turned manly after all the strain. Hmph.

Later that night we met up with my friend Rachel and we went to the drive-in theater to see Get Smart. Rachel made fun of me for buying Backstreet Boys tickets. I made fun of her for liking Reba McIntyre and worse, the TV show Reba. Then she started relating every one of our jokes or stories by quipping, "You know, that reminds me of an episode of Reba." Funny, then annoying. And Krista kept it up for the rest of the weekend. Grrr.

Get Smart was okay. It had some decent laughs, but the movie was a little slow paced. Some quotable lines, though.

We went to a Methodist church near my house Sunday morning. As we were walking up to the building, the church bell suddenly rang, and I jumped, yelling, "Good Lord!" Oops!

The service was super boring because the pastor wasn't there to give the sermon. Instead, some lay person rambled on about some convention she'd gone to. And she paused after every other word or would repeat a phrase that she felt must have been really inspirational. For example, "This man I'd never met before preached about the passion of hospitality." *long pause* "The passion. Of hospitality." Also, she talked about the victims of flooding who'd seen their houses "go down the Kickapoo." I told Krista that at first I thought "Kickapoo" was just a church-friendly way of saying "the shitter." Then I was like, "Oh, yeah. The river. Dur."

We also had to hold hands with a neighbor during a prayer, but Krista ignored the person who tapped her shoulder, and I was forced into holding hands with an old man who steadily increased the pressure of his grip until I had to massage my hand to get the feeling back.

Then as we left, two older men I knew had to come up to me like a couple of kids vying for my attention. "Hey, April! Are you coming back again? I think you should come back again." "Hey, April! Remember Shannon? Guess what? She got married yesterday!" Goodie. Rub that in my face, why don't ya?

So after that we made our way down to Eau Claire for some lunch and shopping. I heart shopping. It's my favorite. Our first stop was at Red Lobster for cheesy garlic biscuits. Then on to Pier One Imports, where they had tons of clearanced items. I bought a red Japanese figurine for my future Japanese-inspired living room. Oh, living room of the future, how fancy you are. I also adored this lamp, but I have no place to currently keep it. :(
I tried to talk Krista into buying a hideous ceramic sandal-shaped tealight holder to give as a birthday present to Kristen, but she didn't go for it.

Next up was Borders, where I bought the newest CD by South. Pretty good. Especially liking the song "Wasted."

Target was our last stop and where I made the biggest haul: Becoming Jane, Flight of the Conchords, and Rihanna (which I'm LOVING), plus some fruit and scones (lemon poppyseed, of course) and birthday presents for a lawyerly friend. That night, Guitar Hero 3 was the name of the game. I think Krista's now hooked because she's determined to buy her own GH3. We'll have a chance to battle in August when she comes back up to GO TO THE BACKSTREET BOYS CONCERT WITH ME! That's right! I'm not alone! We're gonna rock it single 29-year-old style. She even brought a boy band cd up for me to include in the mix, but I can't tell you which boy band it is. It's an MMMSecret.

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back!

2008-06-19T14:37:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't been paying attention to my Twitter sidebar, here's what you missed: my mom and sister and I are going to see the Backstreet Boys in concert at the Minnesota State Fair in August! And you know what? I could care less if you think that's lame. We're going to have an awesome time, while you'll sit home alone eating Hot Pockets.

So in preparation for the concert, I'm putting together a boy band mix CD, comprised of songs from NKOTB, BSB (obviously), N*Sync, 98*, and Five. Any other suggestions? I'd also offer to send you a copy, dear reader, but I doubt I'll get any requests for one anyway. Hmph.

Other funny and/or annoying things:

My co-worker at the newspaper was just walking into my work area (the break room) when a customer came into the front part of the office.
Co-Worker: Hey, Butch!
Me: I really hope you were talking to the guy who just walked in.

12-year-old at library, getting turned down from a high-five by Jersey.
Boy: I remember when she was little and she used to be my friend. But then--
Me: She matured and you stayed at the same level?
Boy: No!
Other Boy: Yeah, pretty much!

On the phone with Pennsylvania friend:
PF: I'm tellin' ya, you gotta come visit me one of these days. You have to check out the people.
Me: Why?
PF: Well, what do you imagine Connecticut or Boston people to be like? Kinda sophisticated?
Me: I guess so.
PF: Well, the people here are like a cross between Connecticut sophisticated and rednecks. It's so bizarre.
Me: Weird.
PF: I know. I'm really disappointed because one of my boobs is bigger than the other.
Me: Wha? How did we get to that subject?
PF: Cuz I'm checking out my boobs. And one is definitely bigger than the other. I think the kids must've sucked on the other one too hard when they were breastfeeding.
Me: Okay, gross. I'm done with this topic.

Jersey and Aaliyah coloring with BlendiPen markers:
Aaliyah: Cotter! Cotter!
Me: Yes, you can color, too.
Aaliyah: Cotter! Cotter! Cotter!
Me: I know! You're coloring. Quit saying "cotter!"
Aaliyah: *leans in closer* Cotter!
Me: Argh.
Aaliyah: Cotter! Cotter!
Me: Welcome back!
Aaliyah: Cotter!
Me: Jersey, what are you coloring?
Jersey: A color fusion rollercoaster.
Me: Wha??
Aaliyah: COTTER!

So, this guy at the CA library has been in every day that I work there, and he seems to have a bit of a crush on me. And he's ... slow. If you know what I mean. I have to help him on the computer every two seconds, where he tries to win me prizes from the Burger King web site's contest. And he keeps asking if I'm single. And he always likes my rings and wants to buy some for himself. And yesterday he pulled up the sleeve of his T-shirt, revealing on his pale upper arm a fake tattoo of a 1950s pin-up girl, half worn off. "Her name is April!" he says. "'Hi, April,'" he makes his tattoo say. I have no response.

Such is my life.

"There is no charge for awesomeness ... or attractiveness."

2008-06-14T07:37:00.001-07:00

Last night I took Jersey and Amanda to our town's new drive-in movie theater to see Kung Fu Panda, starring the voice talents of Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Seth Rogen and David Cross. Oh, and stupid Jerkface Jolie. (I don't care how many kids you adopt, Jolie, you still look greasy and stinky.)

There's a play area in the front of the field for kids/families to waste time until it gets dark enough to show the movie, so we let Jersey run amok with all the other hooligans while Amanda and I stood off to the side watching. I whispered to my sister that I hoped it didn't look like we were lesbians watching "our" daughter, then took a step further away from her.

After a while we pulled Jerz away from all the wild kids, made her go to the bathroom, then stood in line at the concession stand ... behind The Devil. *groan* She still comes into the library all the time, so I have to be nice, but ugh. It felt like for.ev.er before we got to place our orders. The young man working the register? Hawt! (He looked like this guy!) I ordered us popcorn, drinks, and Pop Rocks (for Jersey, of course).

Young Man: And which kind of Pop Rocks would you like? We have red, blue, and tropical punch.
Me: *slightly drooling at hawtness* Um, I think we'll go with the red.
Young Man: Oh, excellent choice! *grins wickedly and ever so deliciously*
Me: *incoherent babbling*

The movie was pretty funny. I think it would have been even better if a certain three-year-old hadn't kept waving her red glo-stick in my face, "falling" backwards off the middle armrest into the backseat, whining about not being able to stay to watch the second feature (which was Crappyiana Jones and the Kingdom of Crap or something), and making me acknowledge every time she understood a plot point ... but what are ya gonna do? For her first movie experience, it wasn't too bad. Amanda really liked the movie. Like four times, she says, "April, we need to buy this movie!" And by "we," she meant me.

Stuff, yo.

2008-06-07T07:56:00.000-07:00

Our library received an extra copy of the movie Across the Universe, and I covet it. I think I need to make a trip to the store.

I bought myself a rocker/recliner for my room. It will be my reading chair. For when I read. Which is always. So I guess it's my always chair.

Eyes slowly getting ever drier as the day wears on due to late night of playing with kittens, playing Super Mario Bros. on original Nintendo, and reading, combined with early morning garage sale set-up and working at library.

Kittens are scratchy. Now, so are my hands.

Ms. That's-Just-Good-Writing got in trouble at work! Big time! hahahaahaha

You KNOW it!

2008-05-31T07:05:00.000-07:00

So, Best Week Ever was on last night, so I prepared myself for the usual laughs that the show induces. Imagine my delight when American Idol David Cook appeared. He was hilarious! I couldn't stop laughing, ya'll. Please watch. (I'd had a crush since his audition, but his side kick turned it into full-blown love.)

And then later I had a dream that he made me a Bloody Mary. Weird, but I'll take weird David Cook dreams over no David Cook dreams at all.

Mothers, don't let your babies grow up to be jerkfaces.

2008-05-28T14:01:00.000-07:00

I believe I've mentioned that I hate teenagers? The sullen little you-know-whats. They're so annoying. Like the girl who has the cell phone stuck to her ear the entire time she's in the library. "Are you mad at me? Why-a? Whyyy-a? Just tell me!" The boys who smell like they came straight from gym class and stink up the joint with their sweaty pitts. And who harrass the one quiet girl in the group. "Hey. Hey, you. What's the matter? Do you hate me? What's the matter with you? What's wrong? Why won't you talk to me? Hey. Do you hate me?"

Quit hanging out at the library! Go home and annoy your parents.

Today my boss told me that a fourth-grade class was going to visit the library, and all I had to do was set up a chair for the teacher to read a couple of books. And I thought "Fourth-graders? Haven't they been to a library before? Books at that reading level are kind of long to be read in one sitting. Not that we have seating areas. Just this dark corner next to the bathroom." Yeah. It wasn't fourth-graders. It was 3- and 4-year-olds. "Hi, Miss Liberryian!" they chanted in unison, all arranged in rows on our dingy carpeting. The teacher said, "Now everyone listen quietly as the librarian tells us all about the library!" Um. What? So I made a lengthy speech about stuff. I don't really remember what. Finally someone else took over. "See, kids, here's where all the little kid books are kept! And there's games! And movies!" Ohhh. So I wasn't supposed to explain the details of the summer reading program and how I catalog? I thought they were gonna be fourth-graders, people! And even then, I didn't think I had to be a part of it!

But they were all so very sweet. "Hey, Miss April? Wanna know what? I have one of those." He points at our courier bin that's filled with books to be picked up tomorrow. And another boy, "Miss April? I don't know if I've been here before." One girl refused to sit on her fanny; instead, she sat on her knees. The teacher did not like this at all and finally pulled the girl aside. I felt bad. Maybe she just doesn't like that seating position, Teach! "Goodbye, Miss April!" they again chanted in unison as they left the building, each waving and then adding an extra "goodbye" as they filed past me. And not one of them had a cell phone or an emo haircut--the precious darlings.

Funny cuz it's true

2008-05-26T13:35:00.001-07:00

Check out someecards.com. Huh-larious. Here are some of my favorites. (These are incredibly tame compared to the majority of the cards on the site. Just a little friendly warning.)

Oh, look. It's me.

L-O-V-E spells LOVE!

2008-05-21T16:03:00.000-07:00

Dragonfly. Locket. Gold. What's not to love? $25.

Genius, I tell you!

2008-05-21T15:30:00.000-07:00

This chick should money, honey. What a unique and cute idea! Car litter bag, $19. Comes with a roll of biodegradable baggies.

Hmph

2008-05-20T16:31:00.001-07:00

Dear Overpaid Idiot Doctors,

How about you give a correct diagnosis? Or are you boycotting decent medical practices? When you examine a 3-year-old's ears, don't freaking ignore the hard mass with a red outer ring that signifies an ear infection. After three and a half hours that consist of two five-minute nebulizer treatments and one 10-minute X-ray and ignoring the patient the rest of the time, don't tell the mother that her daughter has neither asthma nor pneumonia, then have a nurse come in to explain the medications for pneumonia ... to only have another doctor two days later confirm that the daughter indeed has asthma!

And, new doctor, thanks for the diagnosis, but don't send the mother to the pharmicist for more prescriptions without explaining how to mix them, in what quantity, and how to use the new nebulizer that the three-year-old must now have at home, thereby pissing off the pharmicist.

And to the rest of you medical people, don't just freaking start doing tests and walk in and out of the room without explaining who you are and, most important, what the importance of the tests are! Would it hurt you to take 30 seconds to explain what the crap you're doing? You're this close to making me think Tom Cruise is sane.

Love, April

Funny even in my dreams

2008-05-19T14:53:00.000-07:00

I dreamed last night that I was in class and that David Cook from American Idol was in the class for one day. I kept cracking him up, and he kept giving me The Look.

Delish. After he left, he sent a note thanking all of us for being so cool. He said he'd made some friends (for some reason this meant the females) and some mates (this was meant in the British way and meant for the guys). After the letter was read out loud, I said, "Oh, man. I wanted to be his mate!" *wink* And everyone laughed, cuz I meant the dirty kind of mate.

Then I woke up with my own version of Billie Jean in my head:

David Cook is not my lover;
he's just a guy that I'd like to scromp.
But Archuletta's not my type.

Poor little pumpkin

2008-05-17T17:12:00.000-07:00

Jersey's been sick again. It seems to happen regularly. She starts coughing and weezing. It got kinda bad last night, so this morning Amanda and I took her to Urgent Care. She had to have two nebulizer treatments.

It didn't hurt at all. She just had to keep the mask on and breathe normally. The treatment is meant to open her lungs more. Jersey was very good and kept ever so still during each five-minute treatment.

That was not the case in between treatments or when we awaited the results of the chest X-rays. Thank goodness I had the foresight to bring my trusty Nintendo DS so the Werz could play Super Mario Bros. because we were there FOR.EV.ER.

In fact, after waiting another 30 minutes at the pharmacy to fill her three prescriptions (the doctor said it wasn't pneumonia, a nurse said it was ... so who knows?), a dinner at China Buffet and ice cream that she didn't even eat, Jerz conked out on the drive home. (She was awake long enough to see the double rainbows, though!)

Mmm ... Darcy.

2008-05-16T15:08:00.000-07:00

Love those sideburns, Fitzy. Meow!

Hodgepodge for $300, Alex.

2008-05-14T10:50:00.000-07:00

Did anyone else notice that sign in the audience that read "Cougars for David Cook" on American Idol? I might not be old enough to be a cougar, but I approve that message. Oh, DC. So delish. Remember when you auditioned and I told my family that you were my pick for the American Idol? And that I totally wanted to make out with you? Those words are still true today.

I usually avoid commenting on things that happen at work, but I had an experience yesterday that really ticked me off. A certain someone gets really defensive when I proof their writing and several times now has come up to me with a red face and somewhat angrily insisted that their way was right or that I was being inconsistent with what I had previously corrected. (I wasn't. I was very clear on my instructions.) While I disagreed, I maintained a pleasant attitude and tried to gently state my intentions. Yesterday, I proofed a couple of the person's articles and noted many, many instances of using partial quotes--taking only a few words or phrase of an interviewee's quote and placing it in the middle of the reporter's sentence. Once, I can see. Twice? Maybe. But this was several times in two articles. I made changes. The person objected in a very defensive (and loud!) manner. I told this person that she/he needed to be careful about using partial quotes and that it was better not to use them (as practiced and preached by the Associated Press). The person interrupted with a claim to have already spoken to the publisher and exclaimed "That's just good writing!" Well, no, it isn't. Taking just a few words of someone's quote is discouraged because it can be taken out of context. If you only like a little bit, or if only a little bit is truly quotable/publishable, here's a thought: PARAPHRASE. All that red ink on the story that shows mistakes/bad grammar/punctuation? That's not good writing. It's sloppy. As evidenced by our boss standing over my shoulder reading your story, shaking his/her head and saying, "This isn't good." (Also, I'm not a journalist because I choose not to be, not because I don't know how to write.)

On the phone last night with Kristen:
Me: Did you see Laura invited me to come visit her place?
Kristen: WHO?
Me: Laura Llew.
Kristen: To her place?
Me: Yup.
Kristen: Her actual house?
Me: Yup. She said I could even sleep on her couch!
Kristen: Wha? *panic* Why are I not invited?!
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Kristen: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*five minutes of laughter later*
Me: What kind of English was that?
Kristen: I think I sprained my throat from laughing.
(We're now seriously looking into costs of flight vs. driving.)

(later)
Kristen: My parents keep asking me how I know Towr.
Me: Oh, yeah?
Kristen: "How do you know her? Did you go to college with her?" No, Mom. "Did you work with her?" No, Mom. "Well, how do you know her?" *sighs deeply* So then I just said, "I know her through April."
Me: ha! My grandparents kept asking me how I knew her, too. So I just said "Well, she's staying at Kristen's house, so I'm just going to visit."
*silence*
Me: And we're almost 30.
Kristen: Oh, brother.

Jersey, outside with Gram. They see a heavy-set woman walk outside next door.
Jersey: Hey, Gram. Look at that big fat woman!
Gram: No, Jersey, we don't say that. What if someone said that about Mama or Gram?
Jersey: No. *shakes head seriously* I just say, "Hey, Gram, look at that big fat bug!"

Gram reading a story to Jersey before bedtime. The book is about hands and all the things they can do.
Gram: *reading* These hands are gentle. They can pick up a kitten.
Jersey: *holds up her own hands and waves them a bit* Well, these hands can slap.

Twilight, the movie

2008-05-11T18:14:00.001-07:00

I have watched the teaser trailer for Twilight like 10 times now. Can't. Freaking. Wait!

Kristen Stewart is freaking perfect as Bella. I wasn't sold on Robert Pattinson (he played Cedric Diggory in the Harry Potter movies) as Edward, but this trailer has completely solidified him in my mind as the perfect 17-year-old vampire. Hurry up, December! I need to see this movie! (I know Laura Llew, at least, is with me on this!)

2008-05-11T17:08:00.000-07:00

So last week I got to meet Towr. Though I was sick for most of the week and only got to spend Monday afternoon/evening and Tuesday morning getting to know her, it was enough to know she's awesome. Now that she's gone, life is boring again. This must be how Krista felt the days after meeting Johnny Depp.

Highlights:
* Kristen's Richard Nixon impression, followed by Donald Trump impressions.
* Battling Towr at Guitar Hero (me on easy, she on hard).
* Towr and me versus Kristen and Kate at Cranium (and me having Towr listen in as Kate hummed the Buddy Holly song cuz I only knew one line).
* The drive-by canning at McDonald's.
* Kate inviting me back to Kristen's house to play my SingStar! game. hahaha

I finally finished my short story that I've been working on forever. And by finished, I mean now I have a ton of revisions to do. I have my next writers group meeting tomorrow night, so I'll get their opinions (along with the awesome feedback from dear RC Cola) and start reworking. A local "famous" author came into the library yesterday while I was working on my next story, and a co-worker introduced me to her. My co-worker bragged about my writing (which was highly embarrassing because it's just a story, nothing fabulous), so then the author was telling me to submit it to Reader's Digest. No offense, but Reader's Digest? Seriously? I don't think so.

I saw Iron Man yesterday with my uncle Don. It was pretty darn good. My apologies to RC and K-Lo, as when I read their comments that Robert Downey Jr. was sexy, I scoffed and shook my head. The movie certainly changed my mind. Meow, sir!

Yes, I was in need of a new crush.

2008-04-30T14:45:00.000-07:00

I love scary movies.

What's more, I love Scott Speedman.

Put 'em together, and you have a happy April.

Linky linky!

2008-04-26T08:46:00.000-07:00

I really love this Web site, which features prints by annejulie. Beautiful pictures. This one is my favorite, inspired by the witch in Neil Gaiman's Stardust. It's titled La Sorciere Noire (The Black Witch).

Look! An ode to Jim from The Office!

Awww. She looks like my little Jersey! This is from the same site as Jim. In fact, there's tons more prints inspired by pop culture. Check it out!

Your daily cute

2008-04-20T16:41:00.000-07:00

The circus came to town today. Aaron took Aaliyah and Amanda took Jersey for their first glimpse of circus life, complete with elephants. Aaliyah fell asleep. haha

I let Amanda borrow my camera, but she's apparently really terrible at photography. They're all blurry. But here are some shots of the girls after Auntie April came over later in the afternoon. Grandma (my mom) had found an old trampoline that she used to use for excercise. Now it's for toddler-cise.

Don't you wish you had this kind of exuberance?

I don't know if she was in the middle of a sneeze or what, but Jersey's face cracks me up.

Aaliyah Bediah (kinda like Amelia Bedelia)

Ready for a trip down the slide ...

And climbing right back up again!

Jersey's new Scooby-Doo that her mama bought her at the circus. She carried it around all afternoon ... even down the slide!

It was a good day.

"There's something strange in the neighborhood..."

2008-04-17T12:13:00.000-07:00

There were multiple local UFO sightings Monday evening. No shizz. My friend Pete at the newspaper where I used to work accompanied a reporter to sketch what witnesses had seen. Here is his awesome artist's rendering:

And on Tuesday evening, my aunt Barb and I went to a local library for an author's presentation. His name is Chad Lewis, and he's co-author of a line of books that feature haunted locations in various states. I purchased a copy of The Wisconsin Road Guide to Haunted Locations. It breaks up the state into different regions and gives both local lore of locations, plus the actual history and results of any investigation they did. Big shock, most of the ghost stories end up having no factual evidence to support their claims. I guess that just makes it all the more special when the authors/investigators do find unexplained phenomena.

Lewis' presentation was interesting. He had a slide show highlighting stories around the Indianhead region. My aunt and I were two of the most normal people who showed up. And why, WHY do I always end up sitting in front of freaking big-mouthed idiots? Whether it's at a concert, the movie theatre, etc., the person(s) behind me always pisses me off. Throughout the author's presentation, Gabby McShutYourPieHole flapped her lips to her friend Rudie VanJerkface.

Last Sunday, my sister and I went to an auction/concert to benefit a local library and senior center in its need to combine forces and inhabit one building. In the silent auction, I had the winning bid on a locomotive ride for two. It's only about an 8-mile ride, but I'm taking Jersey because she gets so excited every time she hears a train go by.

Truly, truly, truly outrageous!

2008-04-13T17:32:00.001-07:00

Dude. You know what I miss? Jem and the Holograms. That was like the best cartoon ever. And as much as I loved Jem, I think it's funny that I ended up with a Stormer doll. Storm was in The Misfits, arch rivals of the Holograms. I wish I still had that doll. I don't know what I'd do with it. Maybe put it on my desk at work, just for the hell of it. A daily reminder to be a little more misfit-y. (That's totally a word.)

And now, an open letter to John Mayer

2008-04-12T12:43:00.000-07:00

This morning, I woke from a lucious dream where I had been dating John Mayer. He was very sweet and funny and wonderful. Which made waking up more miserable than normal. Then as I brushed my teeth and began the morning ritual of making myself presentable to the world, I formulated a letter to JM in my head. I snorted in laughter several times. Then I thought, I should post it on my blog! Because, really, what the hell else am I going to blog about? This may even be the first in a series of open letters to my dream boyfriend. Prepare thyselves.

Dear John Mayer,

You don't know me, but we had a totally awesome relationship in my dream last night. We held hands and shared an ice cream cone, which equals true love. Now, I know you don't really know me, but that hasn't stopped me from envisioning our first date.

We would meet in some neutral area, or possibly some place predetermined by your staff members to avoid cameras and publicity. You would be hot, of course. I would be ... uh ... well, I'd show up! We would shake hands, and my face would be bright red and I'd look down a lot because I'd be painfully shy. I would most likely stammer as I tried desperately to think of something witty to say. Then I would apply chapstick 13 times as it's a nervous habit.

Awesome, right? Let's continue to our conversation. I know you're wondering what we could possibly have to say to each other. Let's just assume that I've already told you how much I love your music and how it's the only music I turn to when I need to feel understood. I will bite my lip to keep from mentioning the green swimsuit debacle. (I still haven't determined whether it's hot or not. Funny, yes. Hot? I better go look at it some more.)

We may continue talking about music for a while as we're getting to know each other. I would suggest that you listen to some of my current faves, like Andrew Bird and Margot and the Nuclear So & So's. Then we might chat about blogging, since we have that in common. I'd tell you how I wrote on my blog about my friend Krista and I at your Valentine's Day concert in '07. I would refrain from mentioning that I was surly because Jessica Simpson had also been in attendance.

As we get more comfortable with each other, you'd tease me about all the times I've written about you on my blog. (Seriously, I'm a little embarrassed. Just type in "John Mayer" in the search blog box at the top of the screen.) I'd playfully slap your arm, then my face would turn bright red again, and an internal discussion would frantically begin in my head. "Oh, my God, I just touched John Mayer! Don't smirk, don't smirk! But he's so warm and boy-y. Must touch again. DON'T DO IT!" And on it would go. It's tough being a girl.

I would change the subject and ask if you've ever played SingStar on Playstation 2. If you hadn't, I would then proceed to tell you how awesome it is. If you had, I'd compare which songs were fun, which sucked, and which made everyone crack up with laughter.

We may talk about more serious things. I'd nod a lot at things you say and repeat "Exactly!" I may even mutter buzz words such as "economy" and "health care" to make you think I totally knew world events. Not because I want to deceive you, but because I don't want you to walk away from the experience thinking I was a complete idiot.

And oh, how we would make each other laugh. Be careful, John Mayer, not to snort with laughter as you drink something. I've ruined many a person's shirt due to my ill-timed hilarity.

I don't know where we would go from there, but I think that's a lovely start to a first meeting, don't you? Perhaps you can fill me in (that's what she said!) on how the rest of the evening would go.

Until the next dream-inspired letter,
love,
April

"I put a map up on my ceiling to fight that lonely feeling."

2008-04-09T13:56:00.000-07:00

Some of you know this by now because I've whined enough about it, but for the rest of you, here's a little bit of news. My hours at the newspaper were drastically cut, so now I'm down to fewer than 15, probably. Which means I had to pick up shifts at my old job (the one I quit because of the hours I was promised at the newspaper). Three jobs, people. Three.

I won't go into detail about the happenings at the newspaper, other than three new people have been hired and one of them gets my desk. Essentially, there's no room for me.

So today I started back at the CA library for my first shift since leaving last fall. It's a bummer, to say the least, especially since I was able to walk back and forth to work with the other jobs. Now I have to drive 8 miles.

I complain about working in a library, but there are things I enjoy about it. I like being the first to know about new books, and I really like helping people find books to read by authors other than Nicholas Sparks. Or ones that Oprah has told them to read. I enjoy researching answers to reference questions and finding that desired item from another library system.

However, there are many more things that I greatly dislike. Such as the crowd of junior high kids who converge upon the computers and shriek and scuffle and harrass each other. Or stare blankly at me when I say hello. Or the adults who stink to high heaven, either before or after using the bathroom for half an hour. The demands on my time to show them how to use Yahoo! Messenger (I refuse to do it anymore) or how to create an e-mail account. The stupid questions for which I simply have no response: "What's my e-mail password?" "Can you type this up for me?" "Why can't you just buy it on eBay for me with your credit card and I'll pay you in cash?" Because, Amish man, that's not what your librarian is for.

I'd love to find a full-time job and move someplace new, really I would. I'm not afraid of starting over or being in a place where I don't know anyone. (I secretly fantasize about it all the time.) I am afraid, however, of what will happen to my grandparents if I leave. And what would I do without Jersey in my life? What if I move to some new state and no one ever comes to visit? What if they all forget about me? What if I hate it there as much as I hate it here?

2008-04-06T15:04:00.000-07:00

So true. So true.

And my life is complete again

2008-04-04T07:53:00.000-07:00

New Kids on the Block have reunited, my friends.

A new era is upon us.

"Step by Step! Oh, baby! Gonna get to you girrrrrrl!"

2008-03-31T15:24:00.000-07:00

So, I'm 29 and single. What's a girl to do on the weekend? Well, play SingStar on your Play Station 2, of course!

I hauled all my equipment (game unit, cords, microphones, etc.) over to my mom's house on Saturday. Amanda, Mom, John (her bf), me, and Jersey all took turns battling our way through '90s songs. Some songs you think will be really easy, like "Smooth" by Santana and Rob Thomas or "Opposites Attract," by Paula Abdul, but it isn't enough to just get the words right. Your voice has to match exactly the pitch, tone and rhythm to get the high scores.

I have both SingStar '80s and '90s, but we all had more fun with the '90s game. Check out some of these classic hits:

Natalie Imbruglia--Torn
Nirvana--Lithium
Vanilla Ice--Ice Ice Baby
NKOTB--Step By Step
Boyz II Men--Motownphilly
Soundgarden--Black Hole Sun
Stone Temple Pilots--Plush

If you stink, you get booed and labeled tone deaf. If you aren't too shabby, you might be dubbed a rising star. If you rock Hootie and the Blowfish's "I Only Wanna Be With You," like I did, you'll be branded a SingStar.

I'd love to stay and write more, but my hand is itching for a microphone.

I'm a big kid now!

2008-03-20T13:44:00.000-07:00

Because I got this sexy new LG Scoop phone from Alltel ... in turquoise, of course. Jealous?

Oh, colorful pretties, how you bewitch me.

2008-03-14T07:42:00.001-07:00

This adorable purse is in pink and black alligator print with pink leather trim. At $135, it's out of my price range, but it makes me yearn.

A word owl! This would be fun on my bookshelf. Or my writing desk. If I had one. But it's $35, and I think I could make it myself.

I've never been a big fan of sock monkeys, but who could resist this nerdy guy? And at an affordable $14 no less!

Her name is Aprella, and I believe she needs to be hanging on my bedroom wall. A mere $20, she would bring youth and brightness to my spinster darkness.

2008-03-13T12:16:00.000-07:00

Jersey, who is 3-1/2 years old, is a big fan of Scooby-Doo. Unfortunately, she's also a big fan of KISS, due to my mother and her boyfriend's influence.

Imagine, then, Jersey's delight at an episode of Scooby-Doo that features the hard rock band. She has watched this episode, according to her mother, "42,ooo times."

This morning before heading off to school, Jerz took it upon herself to turn into a Gene Simmons demon, courtesy of a greenmarker. Note the extended tongue. And her hair is just naturally Simmons-esque.

Amanda took a washcloth to her daughter's face. Jersey: "It's okay, Mama, you can wash it off. Being a demon makes me frustrated."

It does, indeed.

Good brother*, indeed.

2008-03-07T11:32:00.000-08:00

I have to share this story that was on the front page of a local newspaper (not mine). Why must I share it? Three reasons: 1) It's ridiculous, 2) it's hilarious, and 3) it involves Jersey's idiot father. I'm not going to put their full names, as I don't need stalkers. Just enjoy this story.

Charges real after 'Deal or No Deal'

A recent TV episode of "Deal or No Deal" turned rowdy for those watching the game show from the BC jail when one inmate's commentary enraged another inmate, eventually leading to last week's filing of a felony battery charge.

The incident, which fell along racial lines, began the evening of Feb. 6 when jail inmates were watching "Deal or No Deal."

According to county records, 19-year-old inmate DG told authorities that he and other inmates had suggested that a black contestant on the game show should take the "deal" she was offered, but they later made fun of her for not taking the "deal." (Gratuitous quotation marks from the article, not me.)

The 19-year-old inmate, who is serving jail time for multiple criminal damage to property convictions, said he then commented to the others that the black college student had probably never seen that kind of money before in her life. That was when a black inmate allegedly walked up to DG and hit him in the face twice.

Another inmate told law enforcement that DG never used a racial slur in the incident and didn't believe his comments were racially motivated.

VLD, 35, is due for his initial court appearance March 12 before Judge So-and-So on the felony charge of battery by a prisoner. The offense carries a maximum penalty of 6 years in prison and a fine of up to $10,000.

An officer reported that DG had red marks on the left side of his face following the alleged battery.

The inmate charged with battery is Jersey's father, the low-life. But honestly, how ridiculous can you get? Slapping someone over "Deal or No Deal" comments? (Although, my mom is sticking up for him, saying it wouldn't surprise her if all the other white inmates were lying about there not being any racial comments. Still, lame.)

*I've combined my frequent exasperation comments "Good Lord" and "Oh, brother" to "Good brother." Speedy and funny!

2008-03-06T14:20:00.000-08:00

I fell on the ice yesterday. Hard. My knees hit first, then they slipped and I was thrown forward. My arms caught most of the fall, though I did hit the side of my face. Oh, no no no. Don't rush to my side, van driver. I'd hate for you to be inconvenienced. Bastard. I'm really sore today. :(

Yesterday in the car, Jersey kicked off her winter boot.
Me: *annoyed* "What did you do that for? That was a pretty foolish thing to do if you ask me."
Pause.
Jersey: "But...I didn't ask you."
Amanda: "HAHAHAHAHAHA."
Jersey: "That woodpecker is woodpeckering."

Five don'ts and a Jersey classic

2008-02-28T12:39:00.000-08:00

DON'T name your book "Blizzard of Lead."

DON'T tattoo the word "hate" across your knuckles.

DON'T sit on the computer for three hours creating a goth avatar.

DON'T let your 4-year-old daughter wear a white, bedazzled hat sideways.

DON'T bypass the mat at the front door, then vigorously wipe your muddy boots on the library carpet.

Jersey, before throwing a penny into the "wishing" water fountain at the mall: "Um, I wish...I would let April buy me a swimming pool."

"Don't pop your collar, Mannequin."

2008-02-27T09:46:00.000-08:00

Above quote from Kristen as we rode an escalator past a mannequin whose preppy shirt had a popped collar. And I couldn't quit laughing about it for the rest of the weekend.

So, I went with Kate and Kristen to the Mall of America Saturday, so that Kristen could meet her lawyer boy for the first time. I won't spill details that aren't mine to spill, but I think you can get a general idea of how it went when she broke out with a line from Hamlet, "I was the more deceived."

At Barnes & Noble, I made a clerk get a case of the giggles. I was paying for a cd when she asked if I had a B&N member card. Kristen swiftly said, "Yes, you do!" and dove for her purse. She rummaged around for a while. "Remember?" she said. "You wanted me to hold onto it for you?"

"Oh, yeah," I replied. "That was nice of you to do that for me. I'm always losing it."

"Oh, wait," she said after searching her wallet. "I forgot that I put it in your special pouch in my purse."

I looked at the clerk with raised eyebrows, then muttered out of the side of my mouth, "Don't ever say 'your special pouch again.'"

The clerk actually spit a little as she started laughing. She kept turning away, giggling. Then she goes, "You two sound like my friends."

See, world? We're not outsiders! We're just hilarious.

Also, after months of pressuring Kristen to watch an episode of "How I Met Your Mother," she finally allowed me to play the pilot episode of season one . . . and made me leave the entire season for her to watch. And she's already finished it and Netflix'd the second season! haha

Other highlights of the weekend include:

*Playing "Who would you rather do?" with Kristen and Kate in the car, with questions ranging from the horrible (Carrot Top vs. Louie Anderson) to the hilarious (Danny Tanner vs. Joey Gladstone).

*Talking to The Other White Rachel on the phone for the first time to tell her about Kristen's meeting with lawyer boy. She has a sexy voice, by the way.

*Chocolate from the Godiva chocolate shop at MOA. Strawberry cheesecake dipped in chocolate. Oh, mama.

2008-02-19T15:03:00.000-08:00

Hey, kids! Guess what time it is? Letters and conversations time!

Dear dryer sheet,
Don't hide in my sweater sleeve and then pop out when I'm talking to my boss.
Love, April

Dear criminal masterminds,
If you want to remain uncaught, don't be an idiot and leave your cell phone at the crime scene. Hope you're prosecuted to the full extent of the law! (And you'd better give up the names of the accomplices, bastardo!)
Love, April

Gmail chat with Kristen
Me: I even ate an apple yesterday! *gasp*
Kristen: *falls to the floor dead*
Me: lol I get your house and Stella! (her cat)
Kristen: *comes back from the dead* No. *dies again*
Me: Fine. See if I go to your funeral.
Kristen: *comes back from the dead again* Do it. *dies once more*
Me: Drama queen.
Kristen: I try.

Library lovers, prepare yourselves

2008-02-17T13:07:00.000-08:00

Vandals broke into our library last Monday evening, as well as two other businesses within a half-block radius. Small fires were set in the building where paper bundles are stored, but they burned themselves out. A law office had all of its machinery smashed, and a fire extinguisher was sprayed over everything.

At the library, we lost the copy machine (pictured below), three computers, shelving units, and an untold number of books when the miscreants smashed through the window in the front door.

These shelving units were knocked over, rendering them unusable. Rows and rows of books were thrown to the floor, as were all the audio books. Holes were kicked into walls and doors. The women's room toilet was smashed. The lid to the men's room toilet was smashed over the sink, causing a steady leak from the faucet.

A reading bench in the children's room was used as a battering ram, we assume in the hopes of smashing the new windows that had been installed after last summer's break-ins. However, the casing was too narrow for the width of the bench, so those windows remain unharmed. Money was taken, of course. But worst of all, those bastards smeared, wiped, and ground in dog crap almost everywhere you can think of: countertops, books, shelves, carpeting.

We were closed until Saturday, busy working to regain some order. Carpets were professionally cleaned, electricians and handymen were in to help. Dedicated volunteers came in to help clean what they could, desensitizing any materials that had been on the floor (anything with actual feces on it was immediately disposed of), alphabetizing and reshelving books onto already packed shelves and onto our temporary, makeshift shelving space. And the community has been wonderful. There have been so many calls and so many people dropping by, wanting to be put to work, making donations (money or food) or just sending condolences. The support of these people has made all the difference in the world.

There haven't been any arrests yet, but the police have a few names they're looking into (particularly, apparently, at one who I thought of immediately upon hearing about the break-in). We most likely won't get to hear the names of the people responsible; they're probably all under 16. Ah, justice.

"Pills enough to make me feel ill, cash enough to make me well."

2008-02-11T15:01:00.000-08:00

My mom had a hysterectomy last Thursday. It was a pretty stressful day, what with me making three trips to and from the hospital for various reasons beyond my control (that's approximately 96 miles total).

AND some random woman in the restroom decided she just had to lecture me about the bottled water I had with me.

AND my mother wasn't taken into surgery until about two hours after they'd originally planned, and no one came to tell me when I was all panicky, staring at the clock and worrying about the time.

AND while she was in the recovery room I decided to go to the DMV to check the status on my driver's license, which, (long story short) expired two years ago. I KNOW! Don't even comment. Just. Don't. And when I demanded an answer about why my license continually showed up as "valid" on the DMV Web site, the guy just mumbled an "I don't know" through his mammoth mustache.

In other news, my former professor finally gave the official okay to be his book typesetter. AND he upped his paying price! Woot! I also gave up fried foods and pop (soda, to the rest of the country) for Lent. I'm doing really well, too! While I do crave my Diet Pepsi sometimes, I make do with water. I prefer the flavored water because it tricks my mind into thinking I'm having something delish instead of something nutrish.

What did you give up for Lent? Or, for you sexy noncomformists out there, which new year's resolutions are you still working on?

2008-02-06T10:14:00.000-08:00

I've been tagged!

No, not by a game warden, you jerks. By the lovely and always funny Marie. So, here are seven random things you may not know about me.

1) In fifth grade, I wrote a book (well, eight pages bound between yellow plastic) about a girl who dyes her beehive hairdo seven crazy colors and searches for acceptance, finally gaining it from a penguin and some other odd character that I've now forgotten. Oh, and I think I named the hair salon Curl Up & Dye.

2) I've always hated the singer Tiffany (the mall queen) because she briefly dated Jon Knight, of New Kids on the Block. (I'd still do him.)

3) Once when I was in kindergarten, the school was cancelled mid-day due to a blizzard. My school bus dropped me off at my house, out in the country, and my parents were at work. No one contacted them. I had to crawl into the doghouse, where I kept warm by Black Dog (yeah, that was his name) lying on top of me. He wouldn't let me out until my parents finally got home.

4) I was awesome on a pogo ball. Fo rizzle. I could do all sorts of tricks on it: spins, jumps, flips, the bunny hop. That's right, the bunny hop.

5) I practice the jokes and stories I'd tell if I was ever a guest on the Conan O'Brien show. (Like you don't do the same thing.) Conan would love me. He'd totally ask me to hang out with him and other cool famous people after the taping. Oh, and I'd tell Max Weinberg to shut it, cuz he's freaking lame.

6) I have watched the soap opera Days of Our Lives since I was a little girl, with exceptions. Obviously I couldn't watch during school days in high school, but I've always at least known the current storylines. I look forward to Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, cuz those are the days I get a lunch break at home so I can watch.

7) I'd love to write for a sitcom. Or write a screenplay that translate into this little sleeper hit, indie film.

I'm not going to tag anyone else. But if you'd like to write seven things about yourself, let me know because I'd love to read it!

2008-01-31T15:00:00.000-08:00

I have been hunkered down in my room lately, alternating between watching awesome TV shows and reading books. Oh, and playing Nintendo DS. I just finished season one of Arrested Development (excellent), and I'm now on season one of How I Met Your Mother (freaking hilarious).

Ah, so this is why I don't drink much hot chocolate ... it coats my tongue and gives me a headache.

I hope something awesome happens soon. My life is really, really blah lately. I don't get to meet Johnny Depp like Krista does, none of the presidential candidates, I'm sure, will campaign near me, there are no cute boys to have crushes on. *sigh* BO-RING.

So yesterday? This total douchebag van driver peeled out in the alley as I was walking past on the sidewalk, and the van tires threw this big wave of snow at me. Stupid idiot van driver.

If I was cooler, I'd send out these cards for Valentine's Day. But I'm not.

"For you it's goodbye, for me it's to cry, for whom the bell tolls."

2008-01-23T09:45:00.000-08:00

Heath Ledger, 1979-2008

God, I loved him. I really did.

When my uncle, Brad, moved to California in 2002, I had one request: "If you ever meet Heath Ledger, tell him I love him!"

It wasn't long after he made his move that, as he and a friend drove through LA, Brad spotted a sign adverising an autograph signing with Heath. He made his friend turn around, and Brad stood in line for 45 minutes to get an autographed photo for me. It's matted and framed and has hung on my bedroom wall for more than 5 years now. This is a replica of the one I have:

Last Friday, my co-worker Ray and I were talking about how excited we were about the upcoming Batman movie, Dark Knight. I told him that my favorite thing about Heath is that, no matter what role he takes on, he just becomes that character. You never watch and think, "That's Heath Ledger playing that guy." He's just the character. That's really rare, I think. Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise no matter what role he plays. Same with Mel Gibson, Jim Carrey, Bruce Willis, any leading male actor you can think of.

I wondered how many times I've personally blogged about him. His name popped up four times on this blog. I checked my first blog, and I stopped counting after the seventh post that featured him.

If I, a person who has never actually met the man, have been touched that much by his life and death, I can't imagine the heartbreak his family and close friends must be suffering.

Well, hello, men in my dreams.

2008-01-22T12:59:00.000-08:00

So, lately I've been having some star-studded dreams, starring studs.

First up was the delicious, yet dearly departed, Brad Renfro. I don't remember much, but I had just watched Ghost World in memorium, so that's probably why he made his appearance.

Next was a first-time dream Romeo, Mr. Ryan Hansen, whose starred in such awesome TV shows as Veronica Mars and ... uh ... Frankly, that's the only thing I know him from. I'm not normally a blond fan, but in my dream I made a smart-ass comment to someone, and Ryan nodded approvingly. When I woke up, I was like, "Meow, Dick Casablancas. Meow."

Then last night my sexy standby John Mayer made another appearance. We were both at Shopko, and he leaned up against a shelving unit and gave me a pick-up line. Something about how I should come over to his shopping cart sometime. It was hilarious.

Ah, boys.

Brad Renfro, dead at 25

2008-01-16T09:53:00.000-08:00

My sister and I looooooved Brad Renfro.

He was a great actor, starting with his 1996 role in The Client. Who doesn't remember that movie? And after that, one of my favorite sappy movies, The Cure. Major tear-jerker.

Speaking of tear-jerkers, the dark but amazing Sleepers had plenty of air-time at my house. God, that movie was fantastic, despite its horrifying subject.

And there's plenty of movies that he's been in that I haven't even gotten around to yet, and some I should reconsider (Ghost World). I think I'll have a Renfro weekend in memorium.

I know a semi-celebrity!

2008-01-14T15:11:00.000-08:00

One of my co-workers, the graphically gifted Ray Kaselau, recently had his original artwork selected for the cover of a cookbook to benefit a Barack Obama fund-raiser. Congrats to Ray. Here's a picture of the cookbook.

Interested parties can check out the Web site here and download the cookbook for the reasonable suggested donation of $10.

As for me, until the nation says otherwise, Go, Hillary!

Birthday dreams and soapbox wishes

2008-01-12T08:15:00.000-08:00

I gave Amanda her presents yesterday: Bath & Body Works miscellanea, a huge case of makeup, and a private performance of "Slow Ride" and "Hit Me With Your Best Shot." Shut it. I'm a beginner.

Then I gave her a makeover with her new makeup. And if I had remembered my USB cord, I could've posted a pic. Ah, well. She looked cute.

We had dinner at Culver's, where I avoided looking at the boy who had taken over my proofreading job after I quit at my former newspaper. (Also, I saw an ad for a proofreader at that same newspaper yesterday. So either he left or Sharon did, but I just saw her over Christmas and she didn't mention anything. Hmm... Mystery.) I ordered a cheddar burger, which was ginormous and undercooked. Grosssssss. Amanda had a tasty chicken salad sandwich. Stupid cheddar burger.

Of course, once we got to the theater, the movie we'd wanted to see, Enchanted, wasn't playing. Instead, we saw I Am Legend, and it was excellent! It was sad and suspenseful and scary. Once the credits were rolling, I showed my sister the napkin that I'd wrung into a tight roll during all the creepy parts. In turn, she opened her hand to show me the wadded up napkin she'd balled up during the scary parts, too! ha! We're such dorks. (Sidenote: Meow, Will Smith. Meow.)

We went shopping afterward, and I purchased Singstar. So when I'm finished with work today, Amanda's going to come over so we can do some lame karaoke of '80s songs. It'll be awesome!

Here are some unawesome things I've noticed lately that have annoyed me greatly:

~ People's disgusting body noises and odors. Just because I work in a public setting doesn't mean that I should have to be subjected to people's unwashed bodies. Yesterday at the library, this disgusting old man who is always there looking up chicks on Match.com, farted FIVE times. Loud, long, juicy ones that were inescapable and highly noticeable. Never apologized, never even acknowledged that it happened. Finally, my boss had to go over and ask him if he needed to use the bathroom. This is just inexcusable. Who the hell does things like this?? I'm still just so appalled and repulsed.

~ Swearing in public. Blah, blah, blah, freedom of speech, whatever. Have people forgotten how to carry on basic conversation without dropping the F-bomb? When did this happen, that people think it's no big deal to use obscenities and sex talk in front of children, the elderly, and just generally in a public setting? I don't understand. I mean, sure I swear, but I have an awareness of whose company I'm keeping. For the love of Pete, people! Let children maintain their innocence as long as possible! You bastards.

~ Maybe this is just a little petty, but this also ticks me off: since Kmart's One Hour Photo closed down, our local Wal-Mart's One Hour Photo price jumped from $6.99 for double prints to $9.99. That is outrageous, and this girl will not submit to strong-arming.

~ And finally, I'm so sick to death of the sense of entitlement that people seem to have these days. They think that whatever they want, they can have, regardless of any rules or policies that are in effect. And the lying!! Ugh. The lying to get what they want or to achieve what they want. "Why do I have a late fee? I dropped those movies off last night in the book drop. I'm not paying that fine." Uh, yes, you are. I watched you drop them in this morning after we'd already opened for the day, so you were a day late. (Plus, the neon pink sticker on the front of the movie clearly states "Do not put in book drop." You should be charged extra for not complying with that rule.) Don't freaking lie to me. I don't get it. Why is there so much lying? No wonder people have trust issues; no one can tell the truth.

"This is not a food baby, all right? I've taken like three pregnancy tests, and I am for shizz up the spout."

2008-01-10T12:43:00.000-08:00

So, guess who got Guitar Hero III as a belated birthday present from her uncle? That's right, kids. ME. And I rock a mean "Slow Ride" by Foghat.

Last weekend on a semi-spur of the moment, I made a trip up to Superior to visit my favorite Kristen. We took in the movie Juno, which was MF awesome. I can't stop thinking about that movie. So good. Saturday night we went gambling with Kate and Kelly. It actually took longer to drive to the casino than for how long we were in the casino, but it was fun. I broke even playing the penny slots, Kelly I think doubled her fortune thanks to a Kenny Rogers machine, and Kate and Kristen apparently didn't know when to fold 'em. So we went back to Kristen's to play CatchPhrase and Boggle. Oh, and I bought these fortune telling cards at a toy shop in Duluth, so we messed around with our inner-gypsies, too. That sounded really bad, didn't it?

I also took a couple pictures of Kristen falling off the bed and knocking over a table, but she won't let me post them.

I also purchased my very own pink Nintendo DS Lite. Thank you, Target! For games, I went old school with Super Mario Bros. and Donkey Kong. Have been playing it nonstop since then.

A former professor of mine from college also recently contacted me about a book of his that is being re-released and expanded, and since he only uses a typewriter, he wants me to type it up on a computer and save it on a disk for him. First of all, he was my favorite prof of all time, so I consider it an honor that he still requested me for help. Second, hello, extra income! And hello, amazingly correct psychic! (Did I ever mention that I had a psychic reading last summer? No? Hmm. I'll have to blog about that someday.)

I'm now rewatching Season 3 of Veronica Mars, but I'm taking my time because I'm so sad that it's the end. Damn you, CW!!

Tomorrow is my sister's 24th birthday. We're gonna go see Enchanted since 27 Dresses isn't out yet.

Third annual book list

2008-01-01T12:50:00.000-08:00

For the third consecutive year, I will be posting a list of all the books I have read over the past year. I managed to pack my highest number yet into 2007. Here's some help to understanding the list:
~Any title that's in blue print is a book that I highly recommend.
~Titles in green print will be books that were in audio format.
~Asterisks (*) mark books that are part of a series.
~Titles that are in bold have been reviewed on New Dork Times, my book blog.

Also, last year I invited readers to suggest a book for me to read. I had great intentions, but unfortunately, I didn't get to each one. Someday, maybe. For now, check out my book list. I hope you find some that will interest you!

1) Bridget Jones's Diary, by Helen Fielding
2) Dead to the World, by Charlaine Harris*
3) Dead as a Doornail, by Charlaine Harris*
4) Definitely Dead, by Charlaine Harris*
5) The Long Chalkboard and Other Stories, by Jenny Allen
6) Secret Society Girl: An Ivy League Novel, by Diana Peterfreund
7) Stardust of Yesterday, by Lynn Kurland
8) Sickened, by Julie Gregory
9) Running With the Demon, by Terry Brooks
10) Sleeping With the Fishes, by Mary Janice Davidson
11) May Day, by Jess Lourey
12) Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, by J.K. Rowling*
13) Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, by J.K. Rowling*
14) Fangland, by John Marks
15) Love Overboard, by Janet Evanovich
16) Bloodsucking Fiends, by Christopher Moore*
17) I wrote down the date I finished it, 3/23/07, but forgot the title & author.
18) Five Men Who Broke My Heart, by Susan Shapiro
19) Autobiography of Red, by Anne Carson
20) You Suck, by Christopher Moore*
21) Burning Bright, by Tracy Chevalier
22) Dead and Dating, by Kimberly Raye*
23) The Stolen Child, by Keith Donahue
24) Dead and Dateless, by Kimberly Raye*
25) Something Borrowed, by Emily Giffin
26) Something Blue, by Emily Giffin
27) Baby Proof, by Emily Giffin
28) Fairest, by Gail Carson Levine
29) Heart-Shaped Box, by Joe Hill
30) Skinny Dip, by Carl Hiaasen
31) Undead and Unwed, by Mary Janice Davidson*
32) Undead and Unemployed, by Mary Janice Davidson*
33) All Together Dead, by Charlaine Harris*
34) Undead and Unappreciated, by Mary Janice Davidson*
35) Undead and Unreturnabale, by Mary Janice Davidson*
36) Undead and Unpopular, by Mary Janice Davidson*
37) The Society of S, by Susan Hubbard
38) The Nature of Monsters, by Clare Clark
39) Remembering Sarah, by Chris Mooney
40) Abby Cooper, Psychic Eye, by Victoria Laurie*
41) Walking on Ice, by Susan Hubbard
42) As I Lay Dying, by William Faulkner
43) Lost and Found, by Carolyn Parkhurst
44) Body Surfing, by Anita Shreve
45) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, by J.K. Rowling
46) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, by J.K. Rowling (Not a typo. I actually read it again immediately after finishing the first time.)
47) Austenland, by Shannon Hale
48) Such a Pretty Girl, by Laura Wiess
49) Better Read Than Dead, by Victoria Laurie*
49) Undead and Uneasy, by Mary Janice Davidson*
50) Eclipse, by Stephenie Meyer*
51) Bridge to Terabithia, by Katherine Paterson
52) A Vision of Murder, by Victoria Laurie*
53) Killer Insight, by Victoria Laurie*
54) Labyrinth, by Kate Mosse
55) In the Woods, by Tana French
56) What's a Ghoul to do?, by Victoria Laurie
57) Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone, by J.K. Rowling*
58) Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, by J.K. Rowling*
59) Red Leaves, by Thomas Cook
60) Crime Seen, by Victoria Laurie*
61) Ask Again Later, by Jill A. Davis
62) An Ice Cold Grave, by Charlaine Harris*
63) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, by J.K. Rowling*
64) The Every Boy, by Dana Adam Shapiro
65) Ghost, by Alan Lightman
66) The Royal Treatment, by Mary Janice Davidson
67) Under the Rose, by Diana Peterfreund
68) Morrigan's Cross, by Nora Roberts*
69) Dance of the Gods, by Nora Roberts*
70) Valley of Silence, by Nora Roberts*
71) The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, by Kate DiCamillo
72) Stardust, by Neil Gaiman
73) The Year of Endless Sorrows, by Adam Rapp
74) The City of Ember, by Jeanne DuPrau
75) The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox, by Maggie O'Farrell

Ah, memories

2007-12-28T15:17:00.000-08:00

For a special edition to coordinate with our regularly published edition during Christmas week, the newspaper staff where I work was asked to write about our favorite Christmas memories. It took a couple of days to come up with something that was suitable for newsprint. Accompanying a picture of little April holding Papa Smurf and sitting on Santa's lap was the following story. Enjoy.

For most people, December invokes memories of hot chocolate in front of a fire, sleigh rides, and maybe even a Christmas carol or two. I'm not most people. The onslaught of dazzling garland, fancy ornaments and multicolored strands of lights adorning Christmas trees always make me remember a cold December evening involving two strangers and a lone pine tree.

It was the night of a holiday concert at my high school, and I was in my junior year. My friends Cara and Dave, self-proclaimed A/V geeks, had just finished filming the concert for school records, and then we were on our way to drop off Dave at his home out in the country. We made our way slowly, as the night was foggy and the roads were quite icy. About a quarter of a mile before Dave's house, near a Christmas tree farm, we saw two people standing along the side of the road, looking out into the fog as if they were waiting for someone. We left Dave safely at his house and made our slow return to town.

At the stop sign, Cara and I made sure we didn't see any oncoming headlights penetrating the fog, and we were just about to pull out when suddenly the back doors opened and the dome light came on. Two strange people, a young man and young woman, whom we later realized were the same two we'd seen earlier in front of the tree farm, hopped into the backseat. The man was frantically pulling a pine tree into the car. Cara and I stared in shock, my eyes meeting the startled gaze of the woman. She squeaked and jumped back out of the car. The man looked at us with both puzzlement and dread as he realized we apparently weren't the ride they had been waiting for. He shoved the tree back out, and he and the young woman disappeared into the fog.

The rest of the ride back to my house was punctuated with moments of laughter and bewilderment as we struggled to come to terms with the strange encounter. Had it really happened? Had they been figments of our imagination? The moment of truth was revealed when we opened the back doors and found a seat filled with fresh pine needles and an abandoned yellow flashlight.

So enjoy your candy-cane and mistletoe-filled memories. As for me, December will always call to mind visions of a cold, foggy night, good friends, and Christmas tree thieves.

Hope you enjoyed this very true story. My co-workers got a laugh, and I hope you did, too. A belated merry Christmas to you all, and good tidings in 2008!