Note to parents everywhere: Never bring your 3-year-old to Wal-Mart. Ever. For one, your arms and wrists will be extremely sore the next day just from trying to subdue a wildly hysterical, shrieking, fighting toddler terrorist. Also, everyone will stop and stare at you while you fight to maintain your bear-hug grip so that said toddler terrorist doesn't escape as you try to take her out to the car to calm the fuck down. People will glare at you as if you are trying to kidnap your child, or in my case, niece, but they won't try and stop you because no one wants to get involved. Also, I might have snapped their heads off.
Ah, memories.
Is it time for conversations yet? Yes, I believe it is.
Kristen: What about that one movie? Mr. Magorium's something Emporium.
April: Wonder Emporium.
Kristen: Whatever.
April: You can remember Magorium and Emporium, but not Wonder?
Kristen: That's how I roll.
(5 minutes later)
Kristen: Mr. Magorium's Wonderful Emporium.
April: Wonder. Not Wonderful.
Kristen: Shut up.
Kristen: Boy crotches gross me out.
April: Even Colin Meloy's?
Kristen: Oh, no. His would be shining like the morning sun.
Aaron: (answering phone) Hello? (listens) Hey is for horses.
April: Gay is for Aaron.
I had more, but I forgot my list at home. *sigh* Blogging is hard work.
Acquiring a Nemesis
3 years ago
5 comments:
What not to give Kristen for Christmas this year:
1) Shetland pony. Check!
2) Boy crotches unless they belong to Colin Meloy. Check!
What else?
Colin makes me lady bits tingle.
"Gay is for Aaron." Funny AND true. Oh Captain Pantywares.
Now, imagine that same toddler scene at Wal*Mart except now you are 9 months pregnant and can't move.
If that's not great birth control, I don't know what is.
Haha! I thought the same thing about Megorium and Wonder. ;)
You so funny!
ii, Don't forget leprechauns. Or tiny people carrying coffins.
Kristen, I've repeated that line like 50 times since I first said it.
Azucar, You poor, poor dear. How in the world did you manage?
Rachel, I know. :D
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