Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Children are the future? We're screwed.

At the library:

Me: Okay, your movies are due back in one week. So next Wednesday.

Girl: What's a week?

Me: Do you know the days of the week?

Girl: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

Me: And what day is today?

Girl: Thursday?

Me: No. It's Wednesday. So you'll bring the movies back next Wednesday. One week.

Girl: Okay!

Her Older Brother: So, when are these due?

Me: *head slams down on counter*

Honestly. If you're old enough to check out books and movies, old enough to use the computer, and old enough to walk all the way to the library by yourself, I'm pretty sure you can figure out what a week means.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Fifth annual book list

Five-year anniversary already! I read more books in 2009 than I did in 2008, but some of them are repeats as I got ready to continue a series or watch the movie. Titles in bold are ones that I'd definitely recommend.

1) The Heretic's Daughter, by Kathleen Kent
2) City of Bones, by Cassandra Clare
3) City of Ashes, by Cassandra Clare
4) A Great and Terrible Beauty, by Libba Bray
5) The Tales of Beedle the Bard, by J.K. Rowling
6) Once Were Cops, by Ken Bruen
7) Rebel Angels, by Libba Bray
8) Un Lun Dun, by China Mieville
9) The Sweet Far Thing, by Libba Bray
10) Sucks to be Me, by Kimberly Pauley
11) Time of my Life, by Allison Winn Scotch
12) Deja Dead, by Kathy Reichs
13) The Gospel According to the Son, by Norman Mailer
14) Different Seasons, by Stephen King
15) The Night Villa, by Carol Goodman
16) City of Glass, by Cassandra Clare
17) The Reader, by Bernard Schlink
18) The Curious Incidentof the Dog in the Night-time, byMark Haddon
19)The Girl With No Shadow, by Joanne Harris
20) Lonely Werewolf Girl, by Martin Millar (HORRIBLE!)
21) The Little Giant of Aberdeen County, by Tiffany Baker
22) The Forest of Hands and Teeth, by Carrie Ryan (Fantastic YA zombie book)
23) Mouthing the Words, by Camilla Gibb
24) The House of Gentle Men, by Kathy Hepinstall
25) Dead and Gone, by Charlaine Harris
26) In the Dark, by Brian Freeman
27) Flannery: A Life of Flannery O'Connor, by Brad Gooch
28) The Story Sisters, by Alice Hoffman
29) When You Are Engulfed in Flames, by David Sedaris (Dear David, where have you been all my life?)
30) Fragile Things, by Neil Gaiman
31) Darling Jim, by Christian Moerk (Deliciously creepy!)
32) Water for Elephants, by Sara Gruen (Just before Gram went to nursing home; was the right book at the right time.)
33) Jane Austen Ruined My Life, by Beth Pattillo
34) Undead and Unwelcome, by MaryJanice Davidson
35) The Lost Hours, by Karen White (Not really great, but it fit my needs at the time.)
36) One Hot Mess, by Lois Greiman
37) Parasyte 1, by Hitosi Iwaaki
38) Parasyte 2, by Hitosi Iwaaki
39) Parasyte 3, by Hitosi Iwaaki
40) How to Buy a Love of Reading, by Tanya Egan Gibson (I described this as Gossip Girl making out with F. Scott Fitzgerald.)
41) The Fate of Katherine Carr, by Thomas H. Cook
42) Gone, by Michael Grant (Decent YA book)
43) Of Mice and Men, by John Steinbeck
44) Wicked Game, by Jeri Ready-Smith
45) Glucose Revolution, by Jennie Brand-Miller
46) Glitter Train (journal)
47) Twenties Girl, by Sophie KInsella
48) Writer's Digest Short Story Competition Collection (Boo! Terrible stories, numerous errors.)
49) The Absolutely True Story of a Part-Time Indian, by Sherman Alexie (LOVED!)
50) Death Perception, by Victoria Laurie
51) Manuscript by member of writers group--can't divulge info, but it's good
52) The Birthing House, by Christopher Ransom (Mega scary!!!)
53) Shiver, by Maggie Stiefvater (Miss the angst of Twilight but not the bad writing? Try Shiver!)
54) Half-Minute Horrors, edited by Susan Rich
55) New Moon, by Stephenie Meyer (to get ready for the movie)
56) Gone Tomorrow, by P.F. Kluge (So many typos & errors that I could hardly get through it.)
57) Heartsick, by Chelsea Cain
58) Grave Secret, by Charlaine Harris
59) Sweetheart, by Chelsea Cain
60) Evil at Heart, by Chelsea Cain
61) Posed for Murder, by Meredith Cole (Good concept, but the writing isn't engaging at all.)
62) Shanghai Girls, by Lisa See (Most depressing book ever!)


Friday, January 15, 2010

Best baby dream in human history

Facebook convo worth sharing (at least, I find it funny; therefore, worth sharing):

Amanda, from Critical Edition blog: I had a dream last night that I was watching a vampire movie starring Bea Arthur and Prince. I remember liking it. A lot. Too bad I had to get up so early to go to work - I missed the final battle between good (Prince) and evil (Bea).

Me: I, on the other hand, dreamed about watching dinosaurs hatch from their wee dino eggs. And they looked at me and said "Mama!" And I replied, "Oh, hell no!"

Amanda: If our dreams were to have a baby in a lab somewhere, that baby dream would be the best dream in human history.
Before they annoyed the crap out of me by asking nonstop questions, these kids in the library today cracked me up. They were doing research on the Titanic for school.

Kid 1: *excited* Hey! It says that the Titanic was owned by the British shipping company White Star Line!
Kid 2: I know. I know.
*silence*
Kid 1: *mocking* I know.

Later, they disagreed about how long it took the ship to sink.
Kid 1: It sank in two hours and forty minutes.
Kid 2: No, it didn't. The movie said (blah blah blah...I forget what he said exactly).
Kid 1: Kid 2, the movie is Rated R.
Kid 2: Nuh-uh.
Kid 1: It is, too! Cuz of the murders!
Kid 2: What murders?
Kid 3: Dude. All the murders. A bunch of people died in that movie.
Kid 2: Well, I know that, but it wasn't from murder.
Kid 1: Yes, it was!
Kid 2: Who got murdered?
Kid 3: That guy was shooting. And someone committed suicide.
Kid 2: *looks skeptical*

Later:
Kid 1: I took a lot of notes already!
Kid 2: Not as much as me.

I told Kristen that this is exactly what our conversations would be like if we were 10-year-old boys. Or 30/31-year-old us.