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This is going to be a lovely post about my adventure to the Twin Cities. I'll take you on a pictorial tour of St. Paul. Here we have the beautiful state library.

Wait. What's this? My sister and I at a concert? Hmm. What concert could it be?



Oh, that's right. NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK!



Face time with Donnie Wahlberg.

Showing us they still have the right stuff.

For you closet Joey Mac fans.

Look! It's my boyfriend Jon Knight with his brother Jordan!

Jon and Joe. So close, yet so far away.

They surprised the crowd by popping up in the middle of the audience with a piano on a turning stage. It was hawt. I also have video, but I haven't listened to it to see if you could actually hear them and not just screaming fans (i.e. me).

Official concert verdict? Awesome.

So, I guess there was no tour of the Cities. Sorry. We did eat at a pricey restaurant with substandard fare, though. And it was totes awesome to see two college friends again, Jessica and Carolyn. I'd post their pic, but I didn't ask for their permission. I'm sensitive like that.

Opening act was some chick I'd never heard before. Teri Chynn or something. Up next was Natasha Bedingfield, who was pretty good. And NKOTB rocked the house, yo. It was the longest concert I've ever been to, and they were high-energy the entire time. And really funny, actually! The only bad thing was that the couple to my left were the biggest sticks in the mud ever. They never cheered, never sang along, never threw their hands in the air and waved them like they just didn't care. They sat through the first half, the girl lounging on her boyfriend's shoulder. Second half, they stood hugging and staring blankly. WTF? Don't go to a concert if you're going to act like that, lamies!

Carolyn and Jess had cheap seats, so they were on the other side of the Xcel Center. Amanda and I had awesome seats! Despite what it may look like by my crappy camera, we were actually quite close. Close enough to see facial expressions without looking at the giant screens.

If you have the opportunity to see NKOTB, but you're holding off because you're afraid they'll only play their new songs or that it just won't live up to your previous, 11-year-old expectations, fear not! They were so good! My sister and I knew almost every song, and Carolyn and Jess, who didn't know any of their new songs, had a great time. Carolyn, who is the last person you'd think of going to one of their concerts, kept repeating how awesome it was and that she was surprised at what a good time she had. So get off your butts and grab some tickets!

"I swear I've seen a lot of things in my life, but that... was... awesome! But sorry about your car, man. That... that sucks."

So last night Carol and I went to see Tom Farley, brother of the late Chris Farley, speak about his book "The Chris Farley Show." He was funny, as one might guess. After mocking one teen boy about his improv performance, he said, "As far as you know, I'm joking." ha! I laughed a lot at that.

Afterward I got my program autographed. His pen hovered above the paper as he contemplated what to write. I told him, "'You're awesome' will do just fine." Cuz I'm cheeky like that. Instead, he wrote, "To April: HOLY SCHNIKIES! -Tom Farley." It was perfect because Krista and I used to quote Tommy Boy all. the. time. in college. I bought a copy of the book as a Christmas present for Krista, but I won't tell you what he wrote inside since I have to let her have some surprise when she opens the present. It's perfect, though. And in the copy Carol got for the library, he wrote, "No library fines on this book! Just donate heavily to your public library."

Also, when Tom saw my "Living in a van down by the river" T-shirt, which I even forgot I was wearing because I was all excited to meet him, he just grinned. "Great shirt!" he said. "Love it! Great, great shirt!"

Then I passed on a story to him about a girl I knew from college who had met Chris when he frequently came back to the high school (where she went as well) guidance office to talk, and how he tried flirting with her but she didn't know who he was. Tom nodded his head. "Yup, that was Chris. That's where he was comfortable, where his roots were. That sounds exactly like Chris."

I walked away smiling, but it was sad, too. Chris Farley was my idol. In college, Krista and I were the dorky girls (sorry, CK, but it's true) whose idea of fun wasn't partying and drinking, it was watching Tommy Boy and saying each line at the same time it was being said. We were in love with every moment of that movie, and each time we watched it we'd find something new to crack us up. I've heard people say that Chris Farley only did the same character over and over, but it wasn't the characters that we loved. It was him.

"I found a dead cat on the side of the road so I took it home and put some honey on it and I cooked it and I ate it, is that bad? do do do doooo"

Friday night Kristen and I watched some total cheesy/horror movies that she'd Netflix'd. First up was House on Haunted Hill, with Vincent Price. I started the weekend's joke-off by making "Pew! Pew!" sound effects when Vincent Price held a wine bottle like a gun. After Kristen finally finished laughing, she said "April one, Kristen zero." It only got worse from there.

The second movie was It's Alive, about a deformed vampire-esque baby who killed people. Top of the line, my friends. We thought about how hilarious it would be for people trying not to bring up the word "baby" to parents with a monster child. So began three days of coming up with awkward conversation. "Yeah, last night I ate baby back ribs--awwwww!" "My favorite veggie is baby carrots--awwww!" "Sorry about your monster baby--awwwww!" (Dudes, if I had a video blog, you'd be crying with laughter right now.)

Also, when the movie switched to the baby's point of view, it was really blurry, so every time I sang "Double vision." Every. Time.

At Cranberry Fest, an old lady called Kristen Dorothy. And as we were trying to leave, a cop walked up to my car and said "And how can I disappoint you ladies today?" hahaha!

Saturday night at the drive-in, we watched Cave Women on Mars, a recently made, 1950s-style B movie. It was horrible. From the so-called futuristic way they called computers "comp-yuter" to the frequently remarked "What is this [fill in blank] you speak of?" And they had a character named Orla.

Highlights: I got some video on my cell phone of Kristen reading from Jane Eyre in a "British" accent and later meowing an operetta. If only she'd allow me to post it. And when a guy walked by eating Skittles, Kristen said she wanted to taste his rainbow. She got points for that one!

Also, I just have to say that Kristin Wiig on SNL made me laugh so hard in this Lawrence Welk Show skit that I was actually crying.