Friday night Kristen and I watched some total cheesy/horror movies that she'd Netflix'd. First up was House on Haunted Hill, with Vincent Price. I started the weekend's joke-off by making "Pew! Pew!" sound effects when Vincent Price held a wine bottle like a gun. After Kristen finally finished laughing, she said "April one, Kristen zero." It only got worse from there.
The second movie was It's Alive, about a deformed vampire-esque baby who killed people. Top of the line, my friends. We thought about how hilarious it would be for people trying not to bring up the word "baby" to parents with a monster child. So began three days of coming up with awkward conversation. "Yeah, last night I ate baby back ribs--awwwww!" "My favorite veggie is baby carrots--awwww!" "Sorry about your monster baby--awwwww!" (Dudes, if I had a video blog, you'd be crying with laughter right now.)
Also, when the movie switched to the baby's point of view, it was really blurry, so every time I sang "Double vision." Every. Time.
At Cranberry Fest, an old lady called Kristen Dorothy. And as we were trying to leave, a cop walked up to my car and said "And how can I disappoint you ladies today?" hahaha!
Saturday night at the drive-in, we watched Cave Women on Mars, a recently made, 1950s-style B movie. It was horrible. From the so-called futuristic way they called computers "comp-yuter" to the frequently remarked "What is this [fill in blank] you speak of?" And they had a character named Orla.
Highlights: I got some video on my cell phone of Kristen reading from Jane Eyre in a "British" accent and later meowing an operetta. If only she'd allow me to post it. And when a guy walked by eating Skittles, Kristen said she wanted to taste his rainbow. She got points for that one!
Also, I just have to say that Kristin Wiig on SNL made me laugh so hard in this Lawrence Welk Show skit that I was actually crying.
Oh HAI blog
8 years ago
11 comments:
Thanks for your review of my latest film, Cave Women on Mars! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Sincerely,
Christopher R. Mihm
Writer/Director, Cave Women on Mars
www.cavewomenonmars.com
Wow, a comment from the director! I'm pretty sure that means you're famous now.
I was SO BUMMED that on the video you sent me of Kristen doing the accent the sound didn't work! DANG IT!
I know I tell you all the time, but I wanna party with youuuu!
So with Cave Women on Mars was it just not your thing so the little line jokes annoyed you or was there something more about this particular film? Did you stay for the others?
And in the spirit of actual honesty on the web:
Sincerely,
Josh Craig
Producer/Actor, Cave Women On Mars
Ugh, what is up with anon?
So TOWR gets sent the clip of KLo, and all I get is a picture of a sign saying, "Midget scare me"? Hmph.
April DID sing "double vision" every. freaking. time. Ugh!
Oh, AND she barked like a yappy little dog. It was HILARIOUS!
After that SNL skit I had a dream that I saw a certain someone who may or may not have been a lawyer driving around with baby hands. HAHAHA!
I will NEVER give you permission to post those videos of me. Barf! We don’t need my mug to be spread all over the interwebs.
Sorry ii eeee. April has the video. Make her send it to you. I'll allow you to see/hear the horror that is my face/voice.
Well, I don't know whether you'll check back for my comments, dear sirs, but I'll answer the questions anyway.
I love cheesy movies, and I was really excited when I saw that there were some B sci-fi movies playing at the drive-in. I was all set to have a Mystery Science Theater 3000 experience. I'm not sure if it was the overacting or the under-delivery of lines that bothered me most. I had more fun coming up with my own lines, to tell the truth.
We didn't stay for the others. I probably should have, to be fair, especially since the Phantom of the Lake won awards. But I knew I was guaranteed a laugh with Tina Fey's Palin impression, so I left instead.
Thanks for your comments, though.
Towr, Dang! I really wish you could have heard the audio! Although just the facial expressions is priceless. Iieee, I'll send the vid on the double.
My yapping is pretty fantastic/psycho. Which is why you'll never find vids of ME out there. Other than the "rubber baby (awwww!) buggy bumper" vid that Towr has.
I watched the trailer. I think it's important to remember that most of the B movies of the 50s -- they weren't trying so hard to be bad. It just was bad.
Actually, I don't think my phone accepts videos. Or pictures (I have to type the URL in to view the pic). Not that it's not capable, it's just not in my plan. No worries.
If it helps you guys out at all (I saw the movie with April) I totally wanted to make out with the Elliot/Liam guy. He kind of reminded me of Colin Meloy (a la The Decemberists).
I do LOVE b movies (Evil Dead anyone?) but for me the movie was too slow. And the dialog was awkward - too many Captain Kirk like pauses. But then again, I'm an English Major, so I'm nerdy about that junk.
Thanks all for your feedback! While Chris and I basically just make the kind of movies that we like to make it's always nice to hear what people think. I appreciate all of your honesty greatly. It's refreshing to hear instead of just "hated it" and never hearing why.
Maybe we can wow you (or at least give you a good laugh) with a future release!
All the best,
Josh
Wow, is that really the director of a B movie on your blog, April? You're connected, now! You'll be cast in a porno flick in no time! (Okay, that was out of line, but I'm not going to erase it.)
I'm way too slow with my snarky comments during bad movies (i.e. I come up with them over breakfast the next morning). You guys should start a MST3K revival -- local TV program a la Waynes World that will eventually win the hearts of millions worldwide? Whaddaysay?
He said "disappoint" -- what do you think he meant to say?
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