These made me laugh:
On The Simpsons~
Mr. Burns: Be quiet, Smithers. I'm trying to relax with my new chums.
Smithers: Those are corpses.
Mr. Burns: You never like my friends.
On the radio~
DJ: Get this, an elementary school in Massachusetts banned the game of tag because they're afraid kids might get hurt and sue. But really, think of the psychological trauma from this game. You get tagged and you're "it." You could be "it" all day or all week!
At work~
Me: *looking over co-worker's resume* Well, maybe you could replace the word "job" with "employment."
Boss: *starts laughing*
Me: What?
Boss: What's the difference between the two?
Me: It sounds better, for one. And--
Boss: *starts laughing again*
Me: Fine. Just freaking forget it! *turn back to computer screen, crossing arms*
Boss: *leaning over* Crabby.
Me: *pointing back at her* Know-it-all!
Boss: Damn straight.
Baby-sitting Jersey last night~
Jersey: *being messy with a bite-size Milky Way candy bar that Grandma gave her*
Me: Jersey, be good now.
Jersey: *dangling the caramel over the carpet*
Me: Jerz, eat nice or I'll take the candy away.
Jersey: No! It's mine, you turd.
Oh HAI blog
8 years ago
8 comments:
You TURD?
Hahahahahaha.
Bwah hah hahah. Can't wait for Savannah to learn "turd." Her mom says it enough, it should be any day now.
I love the word turd.
Ha! Like niece, like aunt!
Hysterical! All of it, but especially Jersey. I would call you a turd, too, if you tried to take away my Milky Way!!
Jerz sure calls 'em like she sees 'em.
Yeah? Well you last three stink. SO there.
Haha....yeah, that sounds like Carol.
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