At the library:
Woman Registering for Library Card: Um, yeah, I don't have my driver's license with me because I, like, just drove over here really quick.
Me: You drove here. Without your driver's license?
Woman: Yeah?
Annoying Woman: Um, April? Can I ask you something?
Me: Sure.
Annoying Woman: Okay, so, I wanted to check my email, right?
Me: Uh-huh.
Annoying Woman: But when I pulled up Yahoo!, someone else was still logged in.
Me: So?
Annoying Woman: Well, do I have to log them out?
Me: If you want to check your own email, you do.
Annoying Woman: Yeah, I thought so. I just wanted to check.
Me: Click on "Sign Out."
Annoying Woman: Yeah, I know how to do that part.
Me: Then click on "Return to Yahoo! Mail."
Annoying Woman: I know. I can do it from here.
Me: Then type in your ID and password.
Annoying Woman: *totally annoyed with me* I know! I know what to do.
Me: *smirks*
(I could have ended the conversation after agreeing that she should logout the other user, but then that wouldn't have taught her not to ask stupid questions, would it?)
The day before a major snowstorm was going to hit our area, every single patron who came into the library had to comment on it. I heard every variation of the phrase "Wow, we're gonna get a lot of that white stuff!" that you could possibly imagine. Until the 50-some-year old paperboy came in.
Paperboy: It's cold out there!
Library Staff: *having replied the same way a hundred times already* Yup, it sure is!
Paperboy: We're gonna get the Big Kahuga!
Most Idiotic Man Ever: What?
Paperboy: We're gonna get the Big Kahuga!
MIME: *laughing his stupid laugh* Huh huh huh! I haven't heard that one in a long time! Huh huh huh!
Me: Hmm...maybe because it's called the Big Kahuna, not Kahuga.
Boss conferring with a patron at the computer, trying to figure out how to spell the name of a plant.
Patron: I think it's with an "m" at the end. Like "philodendrum."
Boss: No, I don't think so. I'm pretty sure it ends with an "n." I'm just not sure on the full spelling.
*she turns to me*
Boss: Hey, April. How do you spell "philodendron?"
Me: I don't.
At home:
Someone was talking about a sporting event or something where there'd be a lot of people, and apparently it annoyed my gramps.
Grandpa: Oh, that's a shittin' lolly pajoozil.
(I'm pretty sure he meant lollapalooza.)
On the phone:
Talking about American Idol and how much Kristen hates Melinda Doolittle.*
Kristen: I can't stand her and her stupid no-neck! It looks like she's scrunching up her shoulders to be cute. *talks in little girl voice* Ooh, look at me! I'm so cute!
Me: Ouch.
Kristen: Well! I can't help it if she doesn't have a neck!
Me: Neither can she.
*Reading Melinda's fact sheet, I noticed that she referred to her mother twice as "mommy." That's creepy. And makes me more sympathetic to Kristen's ire.
Acquiring a Nemesis
3 years ago
11 comments:
Oh you make me almost miss my retail days. ALMOST.
If it makes your cockles warm, this morning El Guille was eating breakfast and said out of no where, "Liberry. Can we go to liberry? I want to go to liberry."
See, it's cute when little kids mispronounce things. However, when an adult woman is flabbergasted that some people get their master's degree to work at the "liberry," then that's just stupid.
Ha! Exactly! He's THREE and bilingual, what's her excuse?
Oh my favorite -April-isms. :)
Hey, April. How do you spell "philodendron?"
I don't.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Makes me laugh so hard, among the other things that made me laugh.
*sigh*
Once again I will state that working with the general public blows. Hard.
Ohhhh, El Guille is bilingual?! If I ever have kids they will SO be speaking French before they ever even utter a word of English. Let's be honest--they're going to learn English anyway; might as well give them a leg up on another language while it's easy for them to learn it.
oh brother. i'm a bitchface.
Glad my snarkiness is good for a few laughs.
K-Lo, welcome to my world. :)
Oh, how I sympathize with you.
Please let us someday find jobs that do NOT involve dealing with customers, clients, patrons, consumers or guests. Is that too much to ask?
Lolly Pajoozil? Love it! I might have to start using it...
Oh my gosh. My left eye is twitching now.
There's one guy who has to call me over practically every day to look at his Yahoo email account and figure out what's wrong with it.
I've started telling him that I use Gmail and it's just too bad for him if he doesn't.
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