Friday, April 13, 2007

"I'm not creative like you, with your work sneakers and left-handedness."

I don't have my film developed from Easter yet, but I should by this weekend. I'll be sure to post lots of pictures of Jersey and Aaliyah in their fancy dresses. Cuz I know you're dying to see them. :) But I can tell you that Jersey wore a white sundress with butterflies, and Aaliyah wore a pink dress with white polka dots, and a little white crocheted sweater. So stinking cute!

Well, we only got to have Aaliyah for about 2 hours on Easter Sunday. Aaron and Nikki are still separated, and it's not amiable, to put it lightly. After Aaliyah was picked up, we had our Easter egg hunt for Jersey. She got all bundled up in a tracksuit, with the skirt of her dress hanging out. I'd already used up all my film by that point. (*sigh* Someday I'll invest in a digital camera.) Aaron and Amanda had hidden the eggs all around the yard, but they were still pretty visible. We made our way to a line of trees at the front of the yard next to the road. I could see a bright green plastic egg that was cracked open. I whispered to Amanda, "Did you just throw the egg on the ground? It's open." She swore she'd set it down gently, and it was fine when she went in the house. Aaron agreed. We slowly made our way over there. Not only was the egg open, but someone had actually taken out the candy and left the wrapper. We were shocked that someone had had the audacity to come into our yard in broad daylight and steal a kid's candy.

We picked up the egg and wrapper anyway, and stuck it in Jersey's basket. In case the candy thief was still anywhere around, I raised my voice so they could hear. "Come on, Jerz. Looks like some JERKFACE took your candy on EASTER SUNDAY. Pretty LAME, huh, Jerz?"

Oh, and my mom's boyfriend, John, has a new dog. One of those mini chihuahuas. She's all white and teeny tiny. I asked what her name was.
John: Her name is Jenna.
Me: Jenna? What kind of name is that for a dog?
John: (silence)
Me: Jenna? What, is she named after your favorite porn star or something?
(I'm such a freaking smartass sometimes.)
Mom: April!
(I thought I was in trouble.)
Mom: You are so smart. Did he answer you?
Me: No.
Mom: Look at his face, and you'll have your answer.

So, yeah, his face was beet red and he wouldn't talk to me. My smartass comment had hit the nail on the head. The next day, his face still red, John goes, "You know, I was so embarrassed yesterday, I never thought to ask you how you know that's a porn star name." Relax, people. I've never seen her in action. I think I've heard the name on Howard Stern or something.

I guess Cara brought Tyler over to my mom's house sometime this week, trying to get Amanda to babysit him. Amanda refused because Tyler never listens. I guess Tyler kept throwing Jersey's toys around and getting in her face and saying mean things. Jersey got really mad, pointed a finger in his face and told him an asian beetle was gonna get him.

Later, as they were leaving, Jersey watched them out the window. She turned around with a disgusted look on her face. She said to Amanda, "That kid's an asshole."

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Usually, I'd be the first one saying how inappropriate that language is from a 2-year-old, but it's so funny. I told my boss about it. She goes, "Well, Jersey is a very good judge of character." haha

So, after work today I'm headed up to Superior to visit Kristen. We may or may not be crashing a singles meeting. Probably depends on how cute/old they are. Also, we're having a dinner and a movie night. Kristen has a sweet book with a recipes to correlate with certain movies. These are the ones we're currently trying to decide among:

~The Breakfast Club, with Breakfast Club Sandwiches
~Footloose, with Kevin Bacon and Cheese Hush Puppies
~Saturday Night Fever, with Tony Manero's Mozzerella Marinara

Also in the May or May Not category, if I can get an appointment with Kristen's excellent, funky, awesome hair stylist, I could come back home with a new look. Or I may come home sporting the same boring style. We'll see how it goes.

8 comments:

i i eee said...

I love LOVE that you called John on naming his dog after a porn star! hahahaha

We NEED to get you a digi cam, don't we? I still need to find my old one and see if it works. I'll try to make that a goal for me this weekend.

Oh Jersey. She makes the world go round. :)

Carina said...

JENNA! You are the best, April! Hahaha!

Jerz IS an excellent judge of character.

Why does 30 Rock just keep getting better and better?

April said...

*takes a bow*

Azucar, I keep forgetting to watch 30 Rock, yet when I do, it always cracks me up.

TOWR said...

I remembered that quote but was thinking it was from The Office? What the...

Who names their cute little puppy after some STD-ridden woman whose left boob is 5x bigger than it? Honestly?

That Jersey is quite astute.

Kids suck. Especially the candy-stealing kind.

John said...

Who the frakk would steal candy from someone's yard? I'd be scared it was poisoned (but then again, I'm paranoid like that)

N.F. said...

JENNA Jameson--I'm sure I saw her on an *E* True Hollywood Story episode! :)

Anonymous said...

lol You crack me up!

Sally JPA said...

I know who Jenna Jameson is. Who doesn't?