I'm just saying, some people get knocked on the head and get super powers. Read a comic book.

Nothing special going on, I'm afraid. Here are a few snapshots of my life.

Aaron and Nikki got married on Monday morning. She's got a big honkin' rock on her finger. Hmph. My brother never gave me diamonds! Anyway, we'll probably have some kind of party for them later, after Nikki has the baby. And before you ask, no, we still don't know what she's having. Every time she has an ultrasound, the baby crosses its legs. I'm thinking, modesty? Must be a girl.

I was sitting in the library last week, just emailing and stuff, when this guy approaches me. He says hi, and I recognize him from when I'd interviewed at the newspaper he used to work for. Then he says, "You were at the Wilco concert a couple of weeks ago, weren't you?" And I'm like, "You bet your sweet ass I was!" (Or maybe I just said yes.) So he said he was a couple of rows behind me, which made me panic that he was going to comment on my grooving. But no. He just asked how long I'd been a fan and what I thought of the concert. We both agreed it was the best concert ever. Then he slipped me a little piece of paper with a link on it, and told me that he'd written a review of Wilco's concert because he's a freelance writer. I read it, and it's pretty dead on. Oh, and everyone I've told this story to has asked, "Was he single?" No.

In a series of emails to and from Kristen about our hotel reservations for Jolene's wedding, we've concluded that Best Western sucks. To sum up, despite Kristen calling to see if we could get an early check-in (before 3:00 so we have time to get ready for the evening wedding), BW not only already billed Kristen's credit card when we haven't stayed there, but also charged her for two nights instead of one. She called them about it, and their only form of action was to file a report that she's "disputing the charge." Unfortunately, the other hotels in our price range are fully booked, so we're stuck.
Kristen's email: No rooms available for the 5th, so I guess we're stuck with freaking "Best" Western.
April's email: Crap Western, more like, the bloody bastards. Let's plug up the toilet before we check out.
Kristen's email: Plugging the toilets. That shouldn't be too hard for us. ha ha ha. Can't. Stop. Laughing. Yes, we will plug up those babies real good.

I'm in a glass case of emotion!

So I know you're all dying to know how it went meeting Redlaw. She was awesome, as if you expected anything less. We met up late Saturday afternoon and went shopping, of course. How can we pass up a mall?

So, Redlaw found something that she just had to get for Metamorphose, and I found something that I just had to get for Jolene. It practically jumped into my hands. After a walk-through of the mall, we went to Garfield's restaurant, which is in the mall. Garfield's covers its tables in paper so that customers can color on it while waiting for food. So, our waiter comes up to the table, grabs two crayons and says, "I have to do our routine," which was to write his name on the table. Then, as if we couldn't read it, he says, "My name is Tony." I leaned my head back and sighed deeply. "Of course it is," I said. "Why wouldn't it be?" Then he didn't look at me for the rest of the meal.

Redlaw and I then went to Target to get munchies. Because who doesn't want munchies, right? She found a couple movies that she'd been wanting, and after purchasing them and the required chips and chocolate, we headed back to the motel. My aunt, who runs the motel, let us borrow her DVD player, so we watched Bridget Jones's Diary. It was excellent.

Oh, Redlaw also got to talk with Kristen on the phone, and about 15 minutes later, I got to talk to Metamorphose on the phone. It was fun.

Sunday was filled with Pier One Imports, Borders, Target, and lunch at Perkins. At Borders, I was sucked into their Buy 2, Get 1 Free deal. I ended up getting The Zombie Survival Guide (for my cousin, Justin, who wants to make films about zombies), Dogs of Babel, and The Man Who Loved Jane Austen. There wasn't much to choose from, unlike the selection for the Buy 3, Get 1 Free deal. Bastards.

At Perkins, our waiter kept flirting with us, but in a weird way. Like, he told us that he was going to be our waiter, then goes, "Is that okay?" We're like, yeah. He goes, "Are you sure?" *wink* It was weird. Then he kept coming back and saying things really quickly. We'd nod and smile, then look at each other like, "What did he just say?" Oh, and while Redlaw was in the restroom, I overheard a group of guys behind me quoting the new Will Ferrell movie and giggling excitedly. And by quoting, I mean word for word, including the part where old Will stabs himself and screams. It made me wish for a cute, funny-movie quoting boy of my own.

Then the day, and visit, was over too quickly. Redlaw (which I did almost call her one time) had another 10-hour drive in front of her. I was sad to see her go, but I had a great time. Plus, we quoted movies about a million times, and you don't find that with just anyone.

My life as a wet blanket.

Some minor irritations...and by minor, I mean knock it off or I'll backhand your face:

~People have been continually printing things from computers or making copies from the photocopier, then acting like it's a big hassle to pay for them. I mean, they'll specifically walk into the library to use the copy machine, and then say, "Oh, I guess I have to go get money? I don't have any money on me."

~They also like to walk in and just head for the computer. It has always been our policy (the same policy for any library with computers in the county) that you have to sign up for a computer. With as busy as it is in the summer, it's the only way we can keep track of how long people have been on and when we can get someone else on.

~No hello. No hi, how's it going? No good morning. It's simply, "I want a computer." Even when I say hello, just two feet away from them, they ignore me and demand a computer.

~There's one kid who comes in everyday to play Runescape. And everyday we have to tell him to watch his language, lower his voice, or stop arguing with whatever Runescape-playing kid is next to him. When his turn is over, he stalks out, muttering under his breath. Then an hour or so later, he's back trying to sweet-talk us. "I'd really like to apologize about my behavior earlier....can I go back on the computer?" I'm so sick of it. Even if I'm the bad guy and tell him no, someone else always undermines that authority and lets him on. How is he ever going to learn his lesson?

~On my last pay day, two guys who work for the city came by to drop off our paychecks. And he did something that took me right back to my retail days and instantly pissed me off. Instead of just setting the envelopes down or handing them to me, he flips them at me. You know, like you would a frisbee or when you're dealing cards. Why do guys always fucking do that??? I can't even tell you how many times I've been cut or jabbed from having to try and catch whatever object is being thrown. I think it's a jackass thing to do.

~There's a new kid working at one of the libraries. He's working under a different program. I think he's a little bit slow--like a learning disability, but he's capable of work and reading, all that stuff. Anyway. I think he has a crush on me. He's always standing behind me or just out of my peripheral vision, and he stares at me. I'll turn around, and there he'll be. With a little smile on his face. I'm awful, aren't I? But it irritates the hell out of me.

~My mom's boyfriend broke up with her. Again. I'm mad at him for treating her badly, but I'm irritated because I've been seen as, like, the bad guy. The first time they tried dating (and the second), he was an ass to her. So when they started dating again, I told my mom I didn't want to hear about him or see him, whatever. Not that she paid any attention. But it was always, "Oh, April. Why can't you be nice to him? Why can't see he's trying to change? Blah, blah, blah."

~One bright spot. After the article, read the first comment. I like the way she thinks.

"If we'd waited, we wouldn't have invaded. That's true cuz it rhymes."

I had dinner last night with Nicole and her husband, Allen. I'm jealous of their perfectness. We went to Adventure's in RL. After we waited for about 15 minutes or so, the high school-age hostess asked if we were "ready to be sat." haha

Somewhere in the middle of talking about our jobs, complaining about our families, and reminiscing about high school, I suddenly remembered a moment that made me realize that I haven't changed much since I was 17. I was explaining to Allen that one time in our senior English class, we were all supposed to fill out a "class poll," so everyone in the class would get voted into a certain category...most popular, prettiest, etc. Nicole and I tied for Brainiest, and we were both pissed off because we wanted to be Most Funny. It still rankles, cuz we were the funniest mo-fos in that class!

Anyway, I was lying awake in the suffocating heat last night when I remembered that I never wrote about the rest of my weekend in Superior. Of course, now it's been so long that I've forgotten quite a bit. Here are the highlights:

At Kmart, Kristen pointed at this picture of Bruce Willis and said, "This is your lover!" And it was funny and spontaneous, so I was startled into a surprised laugh, complete with projectile spit. It was altogether hilarious and gross that we were almost crying from laughing so hard. I mean, come on. Look at that mustache!

Kristen's parents also grilled out for us, either Saturday or Sunday...so long ago. Anyway, after the lunch, we were eating root beer floats out in the new gazebo/tent that her parents had set up. The 2L bottle of root beer was still sitting on the table, but I had replaced the cap. Then a really strong wind came up and the bottle began tipping off the table, between me and Kristen. Kristen didn't try to grab the bottle, but her eyes got really wide as she watched the bottle and screamed, "WaaaaaaAAAAAAAAaaaaahhhh!" It was the most bizarre scream EVER. As she finally realized that the cap was on and no pop was spilling, her face turned red and we laughed until our backs hurt and we were crying. You know that kind of laughing? It's not attractive at all. And then as we're still laughing, another strong wind came up and blew Kristen's skirt up into her face. Oh, Lord. So. Freaking. Hilarious.

We also tried to stalk her crush at his church, but it turns out that he most likely doesn't even attend there. Which is good because the sermon annoyed me greatly. I did like the church itself, though. Very pretty. And I did get to finally see her crush at Kristen's library. Very cute. Looks a little like the host of "Cash in the Attic."

And that's about all I can remember. Which is good because my mom just called and offered me a delicious blizzard from Dairy Queen.

It's close to midnight, and something evil's lurking in the dark...

I have the stupidest ideas at 7:22 a.m.

This morning I woke up thinking that it would be hilarious if, at Jolene's wedding reception, everyone perfectly began dancing to the exact choreography of Michael Jackson's "Thriller," ala 13 Going on 30. This had me giggling madly for about 3 minutes, before I drifted back to sleep.

Isaac Hayden may have made me giggle like a schoolgirl, but Wilco rocked my face off.

So this weekend was about music. Most of it was actually good.

Friday I drove up to Superior to meet Kristen. We got ourselves ready for the Isaac Hayden performance later in the evening. We arrived way too early, of course, and roamed around a pretty ghetto Kmart in West Duluth to waste time. Then we set out for Beaner’s, hoping at least one of Kristen’s friends would decide to show up.

We talked briefly with a worker, perhaps owner? at Beaner’s about why we came to the show. Kristen filled him in on the Librarian’s Revenge and that Isaac (because we’re on a first-name basis now, don’t you know) was on the March mix. (Side note: Bless you, Redlaw, for the intro to his music.) The guy was really excited and encouraged us to email him whenever we found someone whom we thought more people should listen to. I’m thinking the Avett Brothers, but they’re probably already too big?

So, I saw Isaac tuning up his guitar on stage. He smiled at me. I quickly looked away because apparently kindness from hot strangers is more than I can bear.

Kristen’s friend Kelly arrived just after the first band started, a duo calling themselves E.J. Asher. One played guitar, the other electric violin. Don’t get me wrong…it sounds like it would be pretty cool. But everything sounded exactly the same. When about the fourth song began, Kristen leaned over and remarked, “Uh, didn’t we already hear this one?” What was hilarious was that Kelly had just come from a Pearl Jam concert, so she looked a little like we were nuts to be sitting in this café. But Kristen assured her that E.J. Asher wasn’t who we’d come to see.

Finally, after listening to the first band’s lame knock-knock joke, sermon on how we all have addictions, and an admonishment that Isaac Hayden somehow owed them royalties because they’d “invented” something, Isaac took the stage. Hallelujah.

He put on a fun show, though he looked a bit tired. Touring does that, I’m sure. I only drove 100 miles to get to Superior, and that was tiring enough. Anyway. Isaac Hayden was funny, talented, and mocked our northern accents. “How aboot some coffee?” He also made the audience participate in a song where he sang a line, and then we’d have to repeat it. But I don’t think any of us understood a word he said during that one, so we all sounded like idiots. And after he introduced a second song that he wrote “about a girl,” a girl in the audience asked if it was about the same girl.
Isaac: Which girl?
Girl in Audience: I guess not.
Hahaha

Afterwards, Kristen, Kelly, and I hung around until most of the place had cleared out, then we approached him to buy cds. Here’s where I turned into an idiot.

Isaac turned to say hi and thank us for coming to the show. I tried to avoid looking directly at him, lest my face burst into flames. Yes, he was that hot.

Me: Er, I’m gonna buy a cd.
Isaac: Okay.
He grabs his official cd, still wrapped in plastic, and then a bonus cd of him performing live in Utah.
Me: Do you autograph them?
Isaac: *looking surprised* Do you want me to?
Me: Well, I’m here. Might as well. (Could that have sounded any ruder? Yikes.)
So he rips open the plastic with his teeth, which was quite sexy and made me even more nervous.
Me: My name is April, by the way…
Isaac: *looks at me like he knows the name from somewhere* Nice to meet you. *shakes my hand*
Me: Yeah, I emailed you like a week ago…
Isaac: Oh, yeah! Right!
Me: The dork who emailed you.
And then, instead of laughing or mocking me, he takes a step back, puts one hand on his chest and says, “Oh, no. I’m totally a dork, too.”
So endearing. *sigh*

So then he asks how we heard of him, and Kristen explains again about Librarian’s Revenge and that he was on the March mix. He seemed pretty excited about it. Kristen bought a cd, too, and then we started heading out. I was ahead of the other two girls, and Isaac was still talking as I was leaving. I remember him saying something about how I should email him on his MySpace account…keep him updated? I don’t remember. I was trying to concentrate on not tripping or giggling like an idiot. So, with a nod in his direction, I said, “Okay, cool.” And walked out.

Out on the street, Kristen and Kelly were smirking at me. Before they could make fun of me, I’m like, “Yeah, I don’t know what happened in there. I’m a total idiot.”

But it wouldn’t have been an official April moment without making a fool out of myself in front of a hot boy, would it? And in case you’re interested, he signed the cd, “To April- Thanks. Isaac Hayden.”

Okay, onward Christian and/or unchristian soldiers. Skipping all other delightful weekend moments for a later post, let’s get right down to Sunday evening. Wilco. In concert. Rocked my freaking face off.

Kristen provided the tickets. I provided…er…myself. We had pretty decent seats, about 24 rows back but right in the middle of the row. Excellent view of the stage. We people-watched until the concert began. The audience ranged from like 9-year-olds on up to 60. Two guys in the row ahead of us looked like Philip Seymour Hoffman and Steve Zahn. Phil, who was wearing golf shorts that stuck to his butt each time he got up, asked me if I knew who the opening band was and if I knew much about them. I replied that they were called the Black Eyed Snakes, and I only knew that they were local. Apparently he knew all that and was just quizzing me because he then informed me that it was a “side project” of one of the guys from Low. I had no idea who he was talking about. But the band was pretty good. They used a distorted microphone throughout every song, so unfortunately, I couldn’t understand anything they sang, but the music rocked.

During their set, a group of guys behind us were trying to figure out what the seat numbers were for the six empty seats next to Kristen. She kept trying to tell them that the empty seat next to hers was #10, but they ignored her. So she kept yelling, “It’s 10! 10! This seat is 10!” I laughed a lot as she got irritated.

So, yeah, Wilco came out and kicked some ass. I only know one of their songs, which they didn’t play, but even so, it was an amazing concert. Everyone was singing along. The 13-year-old next to me who kept poking me with his tour poster even knew every word to the songs. And at one point, lead singer Jeff Tweedy said how much he liked Duluth. Then he goes, “I might even say you’re….Superior?” I laughed, but most of the audience groaned. He hung his head in shame as another band member made his guitar play the sounds “Wah…wah…waaaaaaahhh…” It was hilarious. Then Jeff Tweedy says, “Yeah, that’s why I don’t talk into the microphone much.”

Two encores, people. Two. That’s how awesome they were. Only downside was that everyone stood during the entire concert, which sucked because the floor was slanted and I was wearing sandals, which led to numb toes. Kristen bought herself a T-shirt and a set of tour postcards, and I also bought the tour postcards. They’re pretty sweet.

So that was my musical weekend. Other dorky moments will be documented later. For now, check out the Isaac Hayden and Wilco sites to add insane awesomeness to your day.