Dear Assface Biker,

So sorry to interrupt your public brooding and menacing stance. I didn't mean to offend your delicate sensibilities and get your kerchief in a bunch by wondering if you were coming into the library. I didn't realize smoking and wearing black leather in front of the public library with a crowd of other bikers was the cool thing to do at 9 a.m. on a Saturday. Gee, it sure would be nice to open the windows to allow some fresh air to circulate. But I guess you guys need to smoke a few more cigarettes before heading out. Hope you swallow a bug while enjoying the open road.

Love, April