The July heat must be making all of us cranky, as I've noted several blogs with annoyed letters posts. And since when am I not cranky? Therefore, I will join the masses with another edition of letters.
Dear boys age 11-22,
Cut your freaking hair. This isn't the 1970s.
Or are you trying to look like Kristy McNichol?
You look like a 14-year-old girl. Knock it off.
Love,
April
Dear Idiot Driver near the Kwik Trip at 8:30 this morning,
Quit being a douche. You can wait the 5 seconds for the car in front of me to turn left. You don't need to rush past me in a parking lane and then cut me off when I begin to drive. And don't give me that startled "Why's she honking at me?" look, dorkbreath. Learn the rules of the road, or I'll teach you the rules of my fist.
Love,
April
Dear Library Patrons,
Stop. Asking. Me. Stupid. Questions. Why are you bothering to get on a computer if you don't know how to use it? Why must I show you how to access the Internet? Why must I then show you how to find and/or use basic search engines, such as Yahoo! or Google? And no, I don't need to know your life history or what you need to make copies for. I don't care if you want to make 20 copies of the lyrics to "Endless Love." Just stop being stupid.
Love,
April
Dear Homer,
Save a seat and a doughnut for me.
Love,
April
