I forgot to mention one more thing about the movie Failure to Launch. One of the actors looked so familiar to me, and I kept trying to figure out where I knew him from.

Imagine my discomfort and embarrassment to realize I knew him as the mentally challenged kid in Gigli. Ouch.

I'll show *you* a Canadian Goose!

Saturday morning on my way to work....driving along....singing along to Karma Chameleon....when suddenly as I pass my mother's workplace, I notice that it's surrounded by police cars and firetrucks. Well, as you could imagine, I simply couldn't continue singing along with Boy George.

I got to work and called home to see if my mom had gone into work for some overtime hours. Indeed, she had. I told my brother what I'd seen, and he promised to call me back with info. He never called back, the idiot. But I did later find out that there'd been a chemical fire at the plant. Everyone got out safe, but since my mom's a first responder, she had to stay inside until she was sure everyone was out. And for some lame-ass reason, she had to wait inside for a phone call from the security system people to assure them that yes, there really was a fire. Then she had to call the plant manager to inform him of the fire. Yesterday left her with a raging headache and stiff neck from inhaling all those fumes.

On Sunday afternoon, my aunt Barb and I went to see the movie, Failure to Launch. Any movie that can make me snort Coca-Cola out of my nose gets my approval. It was very funny. Also got to see the trailer for Nacho Libre, starring Jack Black. So. Freaking. Hilarious.

Anyway, before our movie began, Barb and I were chatting away about stuff when she asked what I was wearing that smelled so good.
Me: I don't know. I don't think I even put on any perfume today.
Barb: Well, did you put on lotion?
Me: Yeah, but it was a couple of hours ago, and I've washed my hands twice since then.
Barb: Hmm...
Me: Maybe it's my hair?
Barb: *she leans over and smells my hair* Nope, that's not it.
Me: Well, I don't know then.
Barb: You smell good, though. I always say that to Kevin (her husband). I always say, "What are you wearing? You smell so good!" And he always says, "Nothing, just my deodorant."
Me: Wait a minute. *I lift up my arm* Smell my armpit.
Barb: *she takes a whiff* Yup!!! That's it!
*we giggle madly for a few minutes*
Barb: I'm blushing!
Me: I'm puttin' this on my blog!

Unfunny Moments:
~Nikki and I picking up the pizzas that we ordered. The guy behind the counter brings them to us and says, "Now you gotta guess which one I spit on!" *deep sigh of annoyance*
~Then to accompany the potatoes we ordered, Nikki asked for sour cream packets, which should have been included anyway. The guy puts his hands on his hips and says, "Oh, do you want me to eat them for you, too?" *deep, deep sigh*
~At the library today, some old guy comes in with a bag filled with books and says, "Can I return these? They've been read before." har har har

Friday night was spent watching movies with Amanda and Jersey. My mom, Nikki and Aaron all went down to Illinois to visit Nikki's dad, Mark.

Our first movie was "Just Friends" with Ryan Reynolds. Meow! It was pretty damn funny. Although there were some dumb parts in it, and that annoying chick from the "Scary Movie" trilogy was in it. The second movie was "Yours, Mine, and Ours." Because I couldn't find anything else I wanted to watch. It was a typical family movie. Cute and predictable.

Saturday after I was finished at work, Amanda and I dropped Jersey off at Manda's dad and stepmom's house for the night. Then we headed to Eau Claire for shopping. And apparently Amanda's dad (my former stepdad!) was interested in whether I'd be purchasing lingerie. I think I'm scarred for life.

We didn't shop til we dropped or anything, but it was fun. Although I did almost attack a senior citizen for being a complete (WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE AHEAD) mother-fucking piece-of-shit asshole.

Amanda and I were walking in Shopko when this old jerk started staring at Amanda. She didn't notice. I did. I notice everything. As we walked past, he turned and kept staring at her, tilting his head to look at her ass, and he was making a face like he was disgusted. And the thing is, I can't allow that. Ever. To anyone, let alone my sister. So I stopped dead in my tracks, whirled around, and gave him The Look of Death. It's the most hostile, evil, outraged look anyone can manage. Kristen and Krista witnessed it before at the end of a hockey game in college when some drunk guys were being assholes and one guy grabbed Krista's arm. That time, whilst giving The Look of Death, I screamed at him to just go get himself another beer, which was pretty tame compared to what I would have screamed if it happened these days.

So, while I did restrain myself from growling, "Got a fucking problem, asshole?" to the old fuckface, he did get the hint. He turned away quickly, turning red. I remained angry and tense for the rest of the time we were in that store.

*deep breath* I keep getting angry about it, and I have to just let it go. I can't prevent people from being intolerant jerks. But I also can't prevent myself getting so upset about it.

Anyway, the next day we picked up Jersey and went to Rice Lake. I had to return an item I'd purchased last week and exchange it for something better. Then we went home and watched "The Island." It was pretty good. Reminded me of the book "Never Let Me Go" by Kazuo Ishiguro.

Mom, Aaron and Nikki came home last night. They'd stopped at my aunt Linda's place in Eau Claire, and I guess Linda finally called Social Services on her daughter, Hallie, and her boyfriend, Cory. They are, without getting into any details, bad parents to their almost 2-year-old and 4-month-old daughters. Cory especially. I hate him so much. Linda had wanted to call SS for a long time, but since she felt that she was the only one who saw how bad they were, no one would believe her. But my mom told Linda what Nikki witnessed, and that was enough for her to finally make that call. I'm sure it was hard for her, but I'm so glad she did it. If the kids get taken away, they'd go to Linda, I'm sure.

So I would appreciate any prayers for those little girls that you can spare.

Other than that, life's pretty boring. Although I did have a dream last night about Ace from "American Idol" and He-Whose-Name-I-Hear-Every-Freaking-Day-Because-It's-So-Damn-Common. *sigh*

Don't touch my chest and call me turkey, Turkey!

Dear Rolling Stone Magazine,
Thank you for the hot cover photo of Heath Ledger. And for reminding me that I'm a woman with needs. You can pass that along to him, as well.
Love, April

Dear Grandma,
Thank you for singing along with the Pussycat Dolls the other day. I prefer your rendition of "Stickwitu" over theirs anyday. Plus, it was the funniest thing ever!
Love, April

Dear Cop Who Stopped At My Mom's House,
Just because my brother is a criminal doesn't make me one by association. So stop tailing my car whenever I drive through town. Don't you have some doughnut-eating to do?
Love, April

Dear Jack Black,
She could never love you like I could. Don't be expecting a wedding present from me.
Love, April

Dear Boss,
Quit making jokes about my single status. Though I laugh, my bitterness runs deep. Deeper than the rivers of love. Er, forget that last part. That was dumb. But seriously, no more single jokes.
Love, April

Ever since I saw Rachel post this survey, I've been working on doing one for my own blog. And it was freaking hard! So, here is the fruit of my labor/looms.

The Rules: Take 20 fairly standard and innocuous questions and answer them with music lyrics.

1.) Are you male or female?
"I wear a disguise,
I'm just your average Jane.
The super doesn't stand for model,
But that doesn't mean I'm plain.
If all you see is how I look,
You miss the superchick within.
And I christen you Titanic,
Underestimate and swim."
One Girl Revolution ~Superchick

2.) Who are you?
"I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way."
Bitch ~Meredith Brooks

"I can cast a spell.
Secrets you can't tell.
Mix a special groove.
Put fire inside of you.
Anytime you feel danger or fear ,
Then instantly, I will appear.
I'm every woman,
It's all in me.
Anything you want done, baby,
I'll do it naturally .
I'm every woman,
It's all in me.
I can read your thoughts right now
Every word from A to Z."
I’m Every Woman ~Whitney Houston

3.) Describe your neighborhood:
"Lucy's got her lipstick on a little too bright.
Bobby's gettin' drunk and lookin' for a fight.
Liquor on his breath and trouble on his mind,
And Lucy's just a kid along for the ride.
Got a six-pack of beer and a bottle of wine
Gotta be bad just to have a good time.
They're gonna howl at the moon, shoot out the light,
It's a small town Saturday night.
It's a small town Saturday night.

"Bobby told Lucy, 'The world ain't round...
Drops off sharp at the edge of town.
Lucy, you know the world must be flat
'Cause when people leave town, they never come back.'
They go ninety miles an hour to the city limits sign
Put the pedal to the metal 'fore they change their mind.
They howl at the moon, shoot out the light
It's a small town Saturday night."
Small Town Saturday Night ~Hal Ketchum

4.) How do you look?
"Your looks are laughable; Unphotographable;
Yet, you're my favorite work of art.
Is your figure - less than Greek?
Is your mouth - a little weak?
When you open it to speak, are you smart? "
My Funny Valentine ~Constantine Maroulis

5.) What is love?
"We are young.
Heartache to heartache we stand.
No promises, no demands.
Love is a battlefield.
We are strong,
no one can tell us we're wrong.
Searchin' our hearts for so long.
Both of us knowing,
Love is a battlefield."
Love is a Battlefield ~Pat Benatar

6.) If you could say one thing to the person you love, what would it be?
"I was cryin’ when I met you,
Now I’m tryin’ to forget you.
Your love is sweet misery.
I was cryin’ just to get you,
Now I’m dyin’ ‘cause I let you
Do what you do to me."
Cryin’ ~Aerosmith

7.) What's your secret?
"I just want to feel safe in my own skin.
I just want to be happy again.
I just want to feel deep in my own world,
but I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore.
On a different day if I was safe in my own skin
then I wouldn't feel so lost and so frightened.
But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin.
And I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore.
I just want to feel safe in my own skin.
I just want to be happy again."
Honestly OK ~Dido

8.) Are you strong?
"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Everybody's always talkin' 'bout who's on top.
(Rap:) Don't cross our path 'cause you're gonna get stomped.
We ain't gonna give anybody any slack.
(Rap:) And if you try to keep us down we're gonna come right back,
and you know we're
Hangin' tough, hangin' tough, hangin' tough.
(Rap:) Are you tough enough?
Hangin' tough, hangin' tough, hangin' tough.
(Rap:) We're rough."
Hangin’ Tough ~New Kids on the Block

9.) Where do you wish you were right now?
"We've been on the run
Driving in the sun
Looking out for #1.
California here we come
Right back where we started from.
Hustlers grab your guns,
Your shadow weighs a ton,
Driving down the 101.
California here we come,
Right back where we started from.
California!
Here we come!"
California ~Phantom Planet

10.) What do you think about your friends?
"What do I do when my love is away ?
Does it worry you to be alone?
How do I feel by the end of the day?
Are you sad because you're on your own?
No, I get by with a little help from my friends.
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends.
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends."
With a Little Help From My Friends ~The Beatles

11.) Any words of advice?
"Take your time... don’t live too fast,
Troubles will come and they will pass.
Go find a woman and you’ll find love,
And don’t forget son,
There is someone up above.

"And be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
Be a simple kind of man.
Won’t you do this for me, son, if you can?"
Simple Man ~Lynyrd Skynyrd

"Years go by so easily
That sometimes I forget.
Years go by and make me see
That there’s no time for my regrets."
Things I’ve Prayed For ~Eli

12.) What do you wish you were doing right now?
"Clock strikes upon the hour
And the sun begins to fade.
Still enough time to figure out
How to chase my blues away.
I've done alright up 'til now.
It's the light of day that shows me how,
And when the night falls loneliness calls.
Oh! Wanna dance with somebody.
I wanna feel the heat with somebody.
Yeah! Wanna dance with somebody,
With somebody who loves me."
I Wanna Dance With Somebody ~Whitney Houston

13.) What do you think about drugs?
"Last night I tried to leave,
Cried so much I could not believe.
She was the same girl I fell in love with long ago.
She went in the back to get high,
And I sat down on my couch and cried.
Yelling 'Oh mama, please help me.
Wont you hold my hand?' And...

"Let her cry
If the tears fall down like rain.
Let her sing
If it eases all her pain.
Let her go.
Let her walk right out on me.
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be, let her be."
Let Her Cry ~Hootie and the Blowfish

14.) If you could say one thing to your enemy, what would it be?
"She said I don't know why you ever would lie to me
Like I'm a little untrusting when I think that the truth is gonna hurt ya. And I don't know why you couldn't just stay with me.
You couldn't stand to be near me
When my face don't seem to want to shine
Cuz it's a little bit dirty.
Well, don't just stand there, say nice things to me.
I've been cheated I've been wronged,
and you, you don't know me.
I can't change. I won't do anything at all.

"I wanna push you around, I will, I will.
I wanna push you down, I will, I will.
I wanna take you for granted, I wanna take you for granted
I will."
Push ~Matchbox 20

15.) What do you do on Friday nights?
"Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof.
After all the crushes are faded,
And all my wishful thinking was wrong,
I'm jaded. I hate it."
Love Song For No One ~John Mayer

16.) What would you do if you won a million dollars?
"Some was spent on gambling,
A lot was spent on women,
A little on some good Cabernet.
Three or Four divorces,
at least that many horses
who never left the starting gate.
Diamond rings and furs, swampland in New Jersey,
That week I spent a year in LA.
You know I hate to admit it, I threw the rest away."
I Threw the Rest Away ~Tracy Lawrence

"I’m dizzy from the shopping mall.
I searched for joy, but I bought it all.
It doesn’t help the hunger pain
And a thirst I’d have to drown first to ever satiate.
Something’s missing
And I don’t know how to fix it.
Something’s missing
And I don’t know what it is
At all."
Something’s Missing ~John Mayer

17.) How do you feel right now?
"Oh rainfalls and hard times coming
they won't leave me tonight.
I wish I knew what I was doing
Just to let this spirit survive.
Can't you hear me calling? (oh yeah)
I guess I couldn't live without the things
that made my life what it is.
Can't you hear me calling? (oh yeah)
Everybody's dancing. (oh yeah)
Tonight everything is over.
I feel too young."
Too Young ~Phoenix

18.) Are you for World Peace?
"Imagine no possessions,
I wonder if you can.
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man.
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...
You may say I’m a dreamer,
but I’m not the only one.
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one."
Imagine ~John Lennon

19.) Where were you born?
"Well I was born in a small town,
And I live in a small town.
Prob'ly die in a small town.
Oh, those small communities.

"All my friends are so small town.
My parents live in the same small town.
My job is so small town,
Provides little opportunity.

"Educated in a small town.
Taught the fear of Jesus in a small town.
Used to daydream in that small town.
Another boring romantic that's me."
Small Town ~John Mellencamp

20.) Any closing words?
"You got to know when to hold 'em;
know when to fold 'em.
Know when to walk away;
know when to run.
You never count your money
while you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin'
when the dealin's done."
The Gambler ~Kenny Rogers

"So I won't expect a postcard from Trafalgar Square, but I'd be lyin' if I said I didn't care."

My mom, Aaron and Nikki ran into Tony in Eau Claire last weekend at a sporting event. According to Mom, "he was really, really happy. You know, genuinely happy. Good old Tony." Aaron liked him, too. "I shook his hand," he said. Good old Tony came over and talked to them twice.

He never mentioned me.

Only John Mayer can ease my pain.
"3 years broken hearted,
But now her ghost is finally gone.
I'm done with broken people.
This is me I'm workin on."

*************************************************

The older lady at the CH library finally resigned, and the library board ok'd me as the replacement. So now I finally have hours there. I haven't had an actual shift there since I took over the CA director's hours in November while she was out sick. The only drawback to working at both libraries is that they are both going to new systems, and I have to learn and operate both.