"Did you just make a Jane Austen reference? It's official. The end of days is upon us."

The final edition of 2006 letters.

Dear Librarian's Revenge,
Thank you all so much for introducing me to a new world of music. I've found some new favorites and revisited some classics. I enjoyed every minute of it.
Love, April

Dear 2006,
So long, you crappy excuse for a year. You gave us nothing but celebrity crotches, more impending wars, and Howie Mandel. Not to mention The Hoff. You hang your head in shame, 2006. You sucked.
Love, April

Dear 2007,
I have high hopes for you. Don't let me down. Or I'll kick your ass.
Love, April

Dear Readers,
What's the matter? Don't I cater to your needs? Don't I stroke your egos enough with my flowery words? Don't I make you snort soda through your nose with all my hilarity? Of course I do. So where's all the comment-love? You'd better get on track, readers. I'm not unlike Tinkerbell...fading without your belief. So if you believe in my funniness, please clap. Clap like you've never clapped before.
Love, April

Dear April,
Stop being a dork. That's your first new year's resolution.
Love, April

**********************
I forgot to mention this tidbit from the other day. When Cara and I were playing Totally 80s, I misheard the question she read. Conversation as follows:
Cara: *reading card* What celebrity said that her only memory of her Live Aid performance was stabbing Mick Jagger with her high heel?
Me: What? Stabby McJagger? Who the hell is that?
Cara: Stabbing. Mick. Jagger.
Me: Oh.
*5 minutes of hysterical laughter later*
Me: Oh, that old Stabby McJagger. Always good for a laugh.

Dear Santa, this year I'd like amnesia.

I was going to list the highlights from my life in 2006, but whaddya know? There weren't many because my life is boring. I did have a good time reading my posts from the last year, though. I cracked myself up a few times. My favorite line that I wrote was, "It was like he filled me with a sense of purpose...to make fun of him." hahaha Good times.

If I had to choose the best moments of 2006, they were Aaliyah's birth and the Wilco and Isaac Hayden concerts. Pretty awesome stuff.

So, how was everyone's holiday break? My family got together at my grandparents' house on Christmas Eve for dinner and gift-giving. We all gathered around the tree for a ginormous family picture. I got to kneel on the floor so all the taller people could stand behind me. My brother was taking the picture, and he was complaining that he couldn't fit us all in the frame. My cousin's wife goes, "Well, put it on Panasonic. You can do that, right?" I said, "You mean panoramic." (Because I have to be right.) And my Uncle Kevin goes, "Yeah, and if that doesn't work, try Sony!" har har Then as Aaron grabbed like the third camera to take a picture, I yelled, "Everyone say 'Vivitar!'" They all laughed and someone behind me shoved me, I assume because I'm a clown.

Cara had given me my Christmas present the day before. The Trivial Pursuit Totally '80s game. Awesome.

So me, Amanda, my Uncle Don, and my cousins Justin and Josh all played. Here's some advice if you are going to play: keep it to 2 players, or the game will never end. Also, beef up on your knowledge of David Letterman because for some reason there was like 30 questions about him. Oh, and when Cara and I had played it the other day, Tyler answered every question with "Um....Nacho Libre?"

Anyway, it's now the official work week, and it's back to the old grind. Luckily, though, I am going to head up to Superior for New Year's Eve. Kristen and I plan to ring in the new year by sipping champagne from plastic cups and making bitter toasts.

Happy Freaking New Year. :)

I've been tagged.

I put this off for a few days, but I'm ready to play. The lovely Chica tagged me the other day. Here's how you play. Grab the nearest book, flip to page 123, and skip down five sentences. Then write on your blog the next three sentences. Don't forget to write the name of the book and author.

Living Dead in Dallas, by Charlaine Harris

She glanced back over her shoulder, and I met her eyes. Hers were frightened. Mine said, "Help."

I'm tagging anyone who wants to participate, and more specifically, Metamorphose, The Other White Rachel, and Krista.

Take this job and shove it.

Well, yesterday was interesting.

Apparently there was some chemical spill or leak in the plating division at the factory where my mom works. Everyone in that area and my mom's area ended up inhaling all these toxic fumes. Ambulances, police, fire trucks, and a HazMat team surrounded the building following an evacuation. Firefighters using some air detector thingy pronounced the building safe to enter, and everyone was sent back to work. Except all those people from the plating division were pretty sick, and so were my mom and another woman, Lynn, who had been working in the area closest to plating.

The five people from plating were rushed to one hospital, and my mom and Lynn were sent to another one. They were forced to take decontamination showers in a cold garage with like 10 people around them. Then had tons of meds shoved down their throats.

I left work to go get Mom at the hospital. Manda and Jersey were with me. We stopped and got Mom a set of clothes because the ones she had been wearing were hosed down. Mom was really shaky from all the medicine. I'm talking shivering uncontrollably. So was Lynn. Her daughter had come to pick her up, too. We both drove back to Chetek and to the factory. Lynn's daughter Liz and I went in to pick up our mothers' belongings. Nobody asked how they were doing.

On our way through the factory, our tour guide, who turned out to be head of Human Resources, stopped to have a chat with some foreman about products. We stood there for like 5 minutes before I interrupted, "Hello?? Sick mothers in the car??" The employees all stared at us as we picked up our moms' things. Only one woman came up and expressed concern about my mom's welfare.

Also, the pharmacy made us wait an hour to pick up the prescription, even though the doctor had faxed in the order before we even left the hospital.

My mom called work later last night to let them know that she was excused from work for Thursday (doctor's orders) and would be back on Friday. The person she spoke to said, "Oh. Is that it?"

What a wonderful place to work, huh?

Mom is feeling better today, but she found out a couple of the women who had been in worse shape yesterday still weren't doing too well. One was running a fever of 102*, and the other was vomiting a lot. I hope the meds work for them.

Oh, one more thing. The factory tried to make it sound like the chemicals inhaled were no big deal, but my mom's doctor told her in no uncertain terms that that was bullshit. He was very upset about how they had tried to minimize the circumstances.

I guess the bottom line is all about protecting themselves instead of their employees.

Christmas ain't about Santa kicking Cup-a-Soup in the croutons.

I am by no means a Justin Timberlake fan. But I have to admit that when he is on SNL, the show is actually funny. And, as I am a Bee Gees fan, it won't surprise you which skits are my favorite. This isn't the skit from last night's episode, but it still makes me laugh.

The Barry Gibb Talk Show

It always feels like somebody's watching me...

It's not just an '80s song.

I have quite a few faithful readers, for which I'm grateful. There are the fellow bloggers who feel comfortable with leaving comments, whether to laugh at what I've written or just to tell me that I'm a dork. (You'd be surprised how often that happens...or would you?)

And there are a few friends and family members who occasionally read this blog, rarely leaving a comment. I don't mind because normally we talk and joke about what I've written.

And then, there are a few others who read my blog and never comment. In fact, I don't even know who they are. Somehow, in some way, they've stumbled upon my blog by chance or, possibly, by searching for something in particular. Then they hang around. Hey, I don't mind. I think it's awesome that Love the Details has become a part of so many lives. I don't take it for granted.

But now I'd like to take the opportunity to invite those silent lurkers to join in. Say hi. Tell me your name, or just tell me how you found me. I'm curious. You already know so much about me. Or if you don't feel comfortable leaving a public comment, send me an email. You can find my email address under my profile.

In any case, thanks for reading.

Conversation with myself at 3:42 a.m.

Me: Man, I shouldn't have had Pepsi before bed.
Voice in my head: Der.
Me: Oh, fuck off.

"All you need is the thing you've forgotten, and that's to learn to live with what you are."

You may note that I took Jolene's name off my list of links. It isn't because I don't love her anymore. Alas, she decided to take down her blog.

Anyway, I got to meet up with Jolene in Eau Claire yesterday for some Christmas shopping. It was excellent. I have very little shopping left to do. Not that I won't be tempted to do more. We walked through the mall, but I didn't get anything there. I did, however, start itching after trying the new lotion sample at Macy's. I had to immediately go wash off my hands. I also forgot that I shoved a perfume sample in my pocket, so now my coat smells like Juicy Couture. Or at least the pocket does.

We also met Jolene's brother, John, at TGI-Friday's for lunch. Interesting conversations, I tell you. Somehow we got on the subject of mucus, and John informed us that humans swallow three gallons of mucus and saliva a day. I really, really wanted to say, "Aw, I bet you say that to all the ladies." :) haha

Jolene and I were talking about dreams and meanings or symbolism behind them, and her brother goes, "Come on, Jolene. That's like, the weakest science ever." I replied, "Ever? What about Scientology?" Then he nodded like I was right.

Also, Santa Claus was sitting at the next table over. I saw him drinking milk. He told us Merry Christmas. He scared a little girl.

Jojo and I went to Borders because I had earned a 10% off shopping day, but I forgot that I'd earned Holiday Points, too, and I could have paid even less. Dang it. Then off to Kohl's, where I got my mom a stress-reliever neck pillow, scented with lavender and chammomile. And finally to Target, where I really wanted to get this for Kristen:

It's a Hello Kitty waffle maker. (Currently on sale for $15.) But it didn't fit with the theme I created for her present. Anyway, I'm done with her stuff.

It was fun hanging out with Jolene! She gave me a gift card to Barnes and Noble, so I'm excited for my next trip up to Duluth. I'll spend every last penny on that card. In fact, I may be going up this coming weekend because Kristen and I desperately want to see the new Jack Black/Kate Winslet flick, Holiday. I know it will be excellent.



Also planning on taking in a college hockey game, which I haven't been to in years. And my favorite English professor told Kristen to let him know next time I'm in town because he wants to have dinner with me. After Kristen told me that, I dug through some of my old college things. Among my diploma and a Dean's List certificate, I found the letter of recommendation my prof had written for me. It was really encouraging to read his high praise and faith in me. I hope I do get to sit and talk with him again.

"Like the fool I am and I'll always be, I've got a dream..."

Last night I dreamed that I was a reporter writing an article on Brad Pitt. Since I did such an excellent dream, he gave a couple tokens of thanks. One was a used perambulator, and the other was a pair of diamond earrings.

After he gave me the gifts, I went to work my shift at the library. I closed at 8 p.m., but suddenly about 15 people from high school came traipsing in, demanding I stay open another hour so they could use the computers. I was quite ticked off, and they wouldn't leave. I was hungry, so The Other White Rachel took me to her house to get dinner. I shoved a roast beef sandwich and a raspberry-filled doughnut into my jumbo purse. TOWR started to drive me back to the library, but first we watched a fat cat climbing a fence.

TOWR dropped me off at the library, but before I went in, I noticed Heath Ledger sitting on the sidewalk sifting through trash. I asked him what he was doing. He claimed to be making a statement to society about poverty and homelessness. I asked if he was hungry, and I gave him my roast beef sandwich. Then I offered my doughnut. He swiped his finger through the frosting on top and said, "The cream is delicious, but it's the smooth, velvety goodness inside that I like the most." And I said, "Who doesn't?"