Last night I dreamed that I was a reporter writing an article on Brad Pitt. Since I did such an excellent dream, he gave a couple tokens of thanks. One was a used perambulator, and the other was a pair of diamond earrings.
After he gave me the gifts, I went to work my shift at the library. I closed at 8 p.m., but suddenly about 15 people from high school came traipsing in, demanding I stay open another hour so they could use the computers. I was quite ticked off, and they wouldn't leave. I was hungry, so The Other White Rachel took me to her house to get dinner. I shoved a roast beef sandwich and a raspberry-filled doughnut into my jumbo purse. TOWR started to drive me back to the library, but first we watched a fat cat climbing a fence.
TOWR dropped me off at the library, but before I went in, I noticed Heath Ledger sitting on the sidewalk sifting through trash. I asked him what he was doing. He claimed to be making a statement to society about poverty and homelessness. I asked if he was hungry, and I gave him my roast beef sandwich. Then I offered my doughnut. He swiped his finger through the frosting on top and said, "The cream is delicious, but it's the smooth, velvety goodness inside that I like the most." And I said, "Who doesn't?"
Acquiring a Nemesis
3 years ago
8 comments:
Hahaha! What did you eat before you went to bed last night? That's huh-larious.
A Christmas tree-shaped brownie. mmm...
Oh, Good Lord!! I have tears streaming down my face. TEARS!! That is the best thing I've heard all week! Thank you for eating a Christmas tree-shaped brownie and sharing your odd dreams!
oh brother!
That Brad is so generous.
That Heath is such a dork.
You're welcome.
I tried telling the dream to my boss, and she just looked blankly at me. I didn't even get to tell her about the doughnut.
Woo! I was in a dream with Brad Pitt and Heath Ledger! That's the closest I'm ever going to get to those two.
Sorry, love--no roast beef or raspberry-filled doughnuts at my house. Although I wish to heaven there were...
Fat cat?! Are you calling me fat?!
Why would I call you a fat cat? No, we were *watching* a fat cat. And I didn't write this originally, but in the dream I turned to you and said, "I bet that cat's thinking, 'Hell-oooo, layyydies!'"
I told Kristen that last part, and after laughing a lot, she goes, "Yes! That's *exactly* what that cat was thinking!" hahaha
Post a Comment