"Wow, that dinner smells good. Let me guess, meat?"

Dear Basterts,
(Yes, I'm calling you the misspelled version of my favorite curse word because you aren't only a bastard, you're deviant, immature thieves who don't deserve a correctly spelled insult.)
Stop breaking into the library.
Love,
April

Dear Wilco,
Who the hell gets adult chicken pox? Weren't you man enough to get it as a child? Hmph. Your rescheduled concert better be 2X as rockin'.
Love,
April

Dear Monday the 13th,
You were just sucky enough to wish I'd never gotten out of bed today. Woke up with a splitting headache. Spilled a bowlful of delicious Golden Grahams and milk down the front of my clothes. The dishrag I tried to use to clean up the mess jumped out of my hand. Mouse in garbage can at work. Smoothie place was closed, resulting in strawberry flavored shake at a different place, as opposed to actual strawberries in the shake. And, of course, Wilco cancelled their show for tomorrow. Well played, Monday the 13th. Well played.
Love,
April

Mom, at grocery store: Have you ever tried those raisin-covered yogurts?
Me: Uh, no. Never tried raisin-covered yogurts.
Mom: Oops! hahahaha Web that on your site!
Me: Yeah. I'll do that.

Krista, at the tractor pull: Ugh! Why do smokers always sit near us? Do I look like a smoker?? No, I look like an eater. Bring your popcorn near us!

Also at the tractor pull:
Krista's brother was super late, so by the time he was supposed to pull, his tractor had only been running for 5 minutes. Therefore, not allowing it enough time to warm up caused something to happen to his whatchamacallit. In other words, he broke down in the first round/class/whatever you call it.

Krista, after announcer repeated the name of a tractor about 8 times: Please stop saying El Champione.

Me: Uh, Krista? I can't decide if that person in front of us is a masculine woman or a feminine guy.
Krista: (staring silently) FG.
Me: I think you're right.

Driving through a small town:
Krista: I wonder what people do in Bruce.
Me: Bruce-type things.

Wilco may be cancelled, but I'm heading up to visit Kristen tomorrow anyway. I have a baby-shower present to buy, Barnes & Noble to drool over, Duluth Public Library and the UM-Duluth library to visit for the first time ever, and a couple of movies to watch. Ever hear of The Simpsons and Stardust?

Also, don't tell anyone this, but I haven't heard from a certain boy in a long time, so I got snoopy and looked up his name on the open criminal records. Ay yi yi! I think a warrant has been issued for his arrest!