Kristen and I chatted yesterday afternoon. I didn't want you to feel left out, so I'm adding the text of the first half of the chat just for your pleasure. See how I think of you, dear reader?
April: Bastards broke into the library and vandalized the joint! Books everywhere!
Kristen: MF!!!
Did they destroy any books?
April: Yeah. Madness. The mofo cut himself, too. Blood all over the place.
Kristen: DNA!!!
April: Yeah, he ripped a kids book.
Kristen: Get CSI in there!!!
BASTARDS!!!!!
April: And stole a green stuffed dinosaur.
Kristen: But like your police department is going to do anything.
NOT the green dinosaur! DOUBLE BASTARD!
April: Actually, he took C's laptop, but then he dropped it on the ground when he was running away, so they have bloody fingerprints on it.
Kristen: GOOD!
April: He also broke into 2 other businesses* last night and totally smashed up the places.
We got lucky because a neighbor's dog started barking and the neighbor called the police.
Kristen: Do you know who it is?
Good neighbors!
April: No, I don't know if they caught him.** But they got a K-9 unit involved.
That's how they found out about the other places, the blood trail led to the feed mill.
Kristen: Don't tell me they have a K-9 unit involved when I'm drinking Diet Pepsi. I almost spit it out all over.
Lassie?
April: hahaha Why was that so funny?
Kristen: Someone is trapped in the feed mill.
It was funny because I instantly pictured the video cover for the movie K-9.
April: Oh, brother. Is that with Chuck Norris?
Kristen: I was going to say Jim Belushi.
April: Ah.
Kristen: hahaha
I just looked it up.
I'm right.
Sad.
April: Very sad indeed.
loser. ;)
Kristen: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097637/
Bitchface.
;)
April: Quit your smiling.
Kristen: How'd you know?!?!?!?!?!?
April: You made a smiley face, nerd.
Kristen: Dork.
April: I just checked in a book called "Peter and the Blue Witch Baby."
Kristen: Creepy?
April: I think it's funny.
Kristen: Quit your typin'.
April: By the way, the window is all smashed in and now boarded up. I keep thinking there's a curtain there, and I'm annoyed that I can't look out the window.
Quit your quittin'.
Kristen: lol
Stupid kids.
I'll punch him in his undescended testicles!
April: That's an uncomfortable thought.
Kristen: Ouchie on all accounts.
April: Uh-huh.
Kristen: You're planning a stake-out, aren't you? Or are you planning a steak out? ha ha ha ha ha
mmm...steak
April: Oh, you and your cop/food combos.
Kristen: Just call me Wiggums.
April: I will do no such thing.
Kristen: do it
do it
do it
April: Quit your chanting.
*Later found out it was 3 other businesses.
**They did not catch him. I'm also assuming there was more than one person involved in all of these burglaries.
Oh HAI blog
9 years ago
6 comments:
I hope that dummy cop comes back and apologizes to you for thinking you were smoking something about the first break-in!
Love the chat sessions. I feel happy to be included!
Who knew that your neck of the woods is such a hot spot—especially the library! Isn’t it risking your immortal soul to bust up a library?
We make Lassie jokes all the time. Like when Guille is on the floor throwing a tantrum we’ll stand over him and say, “What? What’s that? Timmy’s in the well?” And then we laugh.
RC, that was the other library. Yes, both libraries I work at have had break-ins now. Both times I have pointed out obvious things that the police should have caught.
Zuc, they're risking their immortal balls, at least, cuz if I catch them I'll give their jewels a swift kick from my size 9s.
i'm funny.
So let me get this straight -- he dropped the laptop when the chase ensued but kept a firm grip on the stuffed dinosaur?? All signs point to a 5-year-old.
I wanna party with you!!!
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