Above quote from Kristen as we rode an escalator past a mannequin whose preppy shirt had a popped collar. And I couldn't quit laughing about it for the rest of the weekend.
So, I went with Kate and Kristen to the Mall of America Saturday, so that Kristen could meet her lawyer boy for the first time. I won't spill details that aren't mine to spill, but I think you can get a general idea of how it went when she broke out with a line from Hamlet, "I was the more deceived."
At Barnes & Noble, I made a clerk get a case of the giggles. I was paying for a cd when she asked if I had a B&N member card. Kristen swiftly said, "Yes, you do!" and dove for her purse. She rummaged around for a while. "Remember?" she said. "You wanted me to hold onto it for you?"
"Oh, yeah," I replied. "That was nice of you to do that for me. I'm always losing it."
"Oh, wait," she said after searching her wallet. "I forgot that I put it in your special pouch in my purse."
I looked at the clerk with raised eyebrows, then muttered out of the side of my mouth, "Don't ever say 'your special pouch again.'"
The clerk actually spit a little as she started laughing. She kept turning away, giggling. Then she goes, "You two sound like my friends."
See, world? We're not outsiders! We're just hilarious.
Also, after months of pressuring Kristen to watch an episode of "How I Met Your Mother," she finally allowed me to play the pilot episode of season one . . . and made me leave the entire season for her to watch. And she's already finished it and Netflix'd the second season! haha
Other highlights of the weekend include:
*Playing "Who would you rather do?" with Kristen and Kate in the car, with questions ranging from the horrible (Carrot Top vs. Louie Anderson) to the hilarious (Danny Tanner vs. Joey Gladstone).
*Talking to The Other White Rachel on the phone for the first time to tell her about Kristen's meeting with lawyer boy. She has a sexy voice, by the way.
*Chocolate from the Godiva chocolate shop at MOA. Strawberry cheesecake dipped in chocolate. Oh, mama.
Acquiring a Nemesis
3 years ago
6 comments:
Haha! You guys CRACK. ME. UP! I can't wait to come see you in May!!! It's gonna be fab! I sure hope you don't walk away from my visiting thinking you were the more deceived! Ha! (I promise my body is entirely proportionate!)
Thanks for complimenting my voice. *blush*
You guys have quite the sexay sexay voices yourselves! Let's start a phone sex business!
Oh my. Danny Tanner all the way, baby.
Anyone would be better than Carrot Top. Ugh.
Yeah, but Louis Anderson??? Over Carrot Top? I mean, Carrot Top freaks me out for sure, but Louis Anderson has that creepy gravely voice... Shudder.
I think I'd go with Uncle Joey. He was funny. I like funny.
Note: I fixed my blog so that now it reads that I played "Who would you rather do?" with Kristen and KATE, not Kelly. She, unfortunately, was not in attendance that day.
I'd totally rather do Joey. Danny would probably ask if I'd showered first.
I would get sick of that stupid ass squirrel impression though. And CUT, IT, OUT. Because you know Joey Gladstone is probably incapable to stop doing impressions while having sex. OH WAIT A MINUTE! Wasn't the squirrel really a beaver? That's much much worse.
"DO YOU LIKE...WOOOOD?" Oh my goodness, Joey's been a total pervert this entire time!
Besides, we all know that Danny Tanner is the only one who is fiscally responsible. If it weren't for Danny and his dead wife, Joey and Jesse would be homeless; Joey would probably have to stoop to being a mime on a street corner, and Jesse singing Beach Boys' covers at a karaoke bar.
(Of course, we all know if we're bringing Jesse into the mix, who we'd rather do. That's far too easy.)
Dude! We're HILARIOUS! I laughed so hard Stella jumped. (And by "we" I mean "me.")
"Besides, we all know that Danny Tanner is the only one who is fiscally responsible." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! It's funny cuz it's true.
Joey is TOTALY #1 on my list. I had a crush on him, not Uncle Jesse. Mama likes the funny men.
Carrot Top makes me want to shave my pits with a jagged piece of poisoned glass.
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