Thursday, February 28, 2008

Five don'ts and a Jersey classic

DON'T name your book "Blizzard of Lead."


DON'T tattoo the word "hate" across your knuckles.


DON'T sit on the computer for three hours creating a goth avatar.


DON'T let your 4-year-old daughter wear a white, bedazzled hat sideways.


DON'T bypass the mat at the front door, then vigorously wipe your muddy boots on the library carpet.

Jersey, before throwing a penny into the "wishing" water fountain at the mall: "Um, I wish...I would let April buy me a swimming pool."

9 comments:

i i eee said...

I love that her wish is to "let" you buy her a swimming pool.

Anonymous said...

I like the way that Jersey thinks!

The general public suck.

j said...

It's too bad she won't let you buy her one as I'm sure you had a fabulous one picked out :)

April said...

She's wily, isn't she?

Marie said...

You didn't *read* the Blizzard of Lead, did you?

What IS a blizzard of lead?

As for the rest of your DON'Ts, I think we should wipe out the entire human race minus you, me, Jersey, and the rest of the people who comment on your blog, and restart this whole thing. I hope there's at least one male here, however. I didn't think of that.

Okay -- Jersey, plus all us girls on this blog, plus a jar of sperm donated by the Poet Laureate, plus a turkey baster.

Problem solved.

April said...

Marie, I did not read the "Blizzard of Lead" book. It was a western novel returned at the library.

There's gotta be *some* boys to keep. I know! Let's keep the ones whom we always lament because they're taken already. I mean, we're getting rid of their other half anyway, right?

Marie said...

Oooo.....excellent plan!

John said...

I'm commenting! I'm commenting! Don't kill me!

April said...

Well, it's about time you started commenting again!