Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Hodgepodge for $300, Alex.

Did anyone else notice that sign in the audience that read "Cougars for David Cook" on American Idol? I might not be old enough to be a cougar, but I approve that message. Oh, DC. So delish. Remember when you auditioned and I told my family that you were my pick for the American Idol? And that I totally wanted to make out with you? Those words are still true today.

I usually avoid commenting on things that happen at work, but I had an experience yesterday that really ticked me off. A certain someone gets really defensive when I proof their writing and several times now has come up to me with a red face and somewhat angrily insisted that their way was right or that I was being inconsistent with what I had previously corrected. (I wasn't. I was very clear on my instructions.) While I disagreed, I maintained a pleasant attitude and tried to gently state my intentions. Yesterday, I proofed a couple of the person's articles and noted many, many instances of using partial quotes--taking only a few words or phrase of an interviewee's quote and placing it in the middle of the reporter's sentence. Once, I can see. Twice? Maybe. But this was several times in two articles. I made changes. The person objected in a very defensive (and loud!) manner. I told this person that she/he needed to be careful about using partial quotes and that it was better not to use them (as practiced and preached by the Associated Press). The person interrupted with a claim to have already spoken to the publisher and exclaimed "That's just good writing!" Well, no, it isn't. Taking just a few words of someone's quote is discouraged because it can be taken out of context. If you only like a little bit, or if only a little bit is truly quotable/publishable, here's a thought: PARAPHRASE. All that red ink on the story that shows mistakes/bad grammar/punctuation? That's not good writing. It's sloppy. As evidenced by our boss standing over my shoulder reading your story, shaking his/her head and saying, "This isn't good." (Also, I'm not a journalist because I choose not to be, not because I don't know how to write.)

On the phone last night with Kristen:
Me: Did you see Laura invited me to come visit her place?
Kristen: WHO?
Me: Laura Llew.
Kristen: To her place?
Me: Yup.
Kristen: Her actual house?
Me: Yup. She said I could even sleep on her couch!
Kristen: Wha? *panic* Why are I not invited?!
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Kristen: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*five minutes of laughter later*
Me: What kind of English was that?
Kristen: I think I sprained my throat from laughing.
(We're now seriously looking into costs of flight vs. driving.)

(later)
Kristen: My parents keep asking me how I know Towr.
Me: Oh, yeah?
Kristen: "How do you know her? Did you go to college with her?" No, Mom. "Did you work with her?" No, Mom. "Well, how do you know her?" *sighs deeply* So then I just said, "I know her through April."
Me: ha! My grandparents kept asking me how I knew her, too. So I just said "Well, she's staying at Kristen's house, so I'm just going to visit."
*silence*
Me: And we're almost 30.
Kristen: Oh, brother.

Jersey, outside with Gram. They see a heavy-set woman walk outside next door.
Jersey: Hey, Gram. Look at that big fat woman!
Gram: No, Jersey, we don't say that. What if someone said that about Mama or Gram?
Jersey: No. *shakes head seriously* I just say, "Hey, Gram, look at that big fat bug!"

Gram reading a story to Jersey before bedtime. The book is about hands and all the things they can do.
Gram: *reading* These hands are gentle. They can pick up a kitten.
Jersey: *holds up her own hands and waves them a bit* Well, these hands can slap.

6 comments:

Carina said...

Seriously, what is so hard about saying to people, “Yeah I met them on the Internet.”

Oh, brother.

So I say, “We have a CD club.”

And hands for slapping? Why do I feel like Jersey could be my best friend?

Anonymous said...

Ok--

A) I was taking a schwig of Diet Coke when I read your post title and almost choked to death because I started to laugh.

B) I laughed out loud AGAIN when I read, "Well, these hands can slap." So much so, that my coworkers actually asked me why I was laughing and pounding on my desk.

Nicely done.

C) My parents still don't know I have a blog. I just tell them that I read yours and we got to emailing, chatting, etc. They're fine with me flying across the country to meet virtual strangers.

D) You crack me up. (Der.)

petullant said...

Kristen is invited too! I have a cot. You can fight over who gets the couch and who gets the cot. Or you could say, "Screw your tiny apartment that you share with a boyfriend and two dogs, Laura, we're getting a hotel room!" My feelings wouldn't be hurt.

And in addition to my midnight party which is on Friday August 1st maybe on Saturday night or Sunday (because I'm sleeping in on Saturday) I would happily take you to Asheville where you could point and laugh at the hippies.

Although if anyone takes me upon my offer, I'm being upfront about the fact that the day of the party and at the party itself I will be slightly edgy and stressed. And probably not the best hostess. I'll still be nice and try to be as accommodating as possible but the party (which will be my biggest even of the year) will have be pretty high strung. Day after though I will be loopy and it will be highly debated if I am high or not.

petullant said...

My classic answer for how I met people is "Through Friends." Or sometimes I say "We went to the same school" (if this is true. Even if I never met them while they were there and we didn't even attend at the same time.)

This is only if it's to older people or those who don't use or distrust the internet. If Ben or anyone my age asks I just say THROUGH THE MAGICAL INTERWEBS, BITCHES.

April said...

We'd probably stay at some cheapo hotel. I already figured you'd be stressed about the party! (Since I'm already pale enough to be a vampire, I should slather on glitter lotion, too! Genius!)

petullant said...

Y'all are more than welcome to stay here - I just wanted to make excuses for my frazzled behavior before hand. Hee.

Also, the cot does have a cushy pad to go with it. Ben sleeps on it when we stay at his brother's place, and says it's pretty good.