Friday, December 30, 2005

Part Deux

So Monday morning I come downstairs, after sleeping off the headache from Christmas day, to find my grandpa gagging into the kitchen sink. Grandma and Don were standing there watching, and Don kept saying, "I told you! Go to the emergency room!"

See, Grandpa has this thing where, once in a while, he gets food stuck in his throat for a couple of hours. He usually can get it out, though. But at this moment, he'd had it since the previous day. As he said, "I don't know if it's turkey or a piece o' hog." Meaning ham, in Grandpa speak.

So I spent my last day of vacation in the emergency room in Rice Lake. Gramps had a minor procedure performed, which consisted of a tube being stuck down his throat and dislodging the offending morsel. Grams and I waited about 2 hours, her snoozing off and on, me growing more annoyed by the second at Soccer Moms. I don't even know if they were Soccer Moms, but they fit the profile. And by profile, I mean they thought the universe revolved around their children. "Can we hurry this up? My children are getting hungry." Listen, lady, it was 11:30 when you came in. Your son only has a sore throat. You think you could have fed your other kids before you came here? Other people have actual emergencies. Hence the name of the room. Bee-yotch.

So the doc finally came out and bellowed, "Yup, there was turkey stuck in his throat!" I giggled nervously, glancing around the room. We were then told of Grandpa's narrowed esophagus and how he should make an appointment to have it stretched. For the rest of the day, Grandma repeated, "You have to learn to chew your food better." Then Gramps repeating, "It ain't got nothin' to do with chewing! It's my 'sophagus!"

Oh, and Gramps told his nurse that she could put her shoes under his bed anyday. And no, he wasn't that drugged up.

I worked Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday was my day off, and I planned to do some extra work at the CH library so that I could get some holiday pay. But Gramps made an appointment to have the surgery on his throat, which means I had to drive him home. So we were on the road by 6:30 to make his 8:30 appt. in Hayward. I waited in the lobby while Grams went with Gramps to his room. Around 10:30 Grams came in by me. I started to get up, thinking he was out of surgery, awake, etc. Oh, no. They were just now taking him into surgery. Apparently there were two emergency operations the doc had to perform first. Not that anyone bothered to tell me the whole time I was waiting. Then we waited almost another 2 hours before a nurse came and got us.

So I drove home, Gramps telling me how to drive the whole time. *deep sigh* Then I got a quick lunch and went to work at CH. Need that holiday pay, ya know.

In other news:
~Cara went back to Texas on Tuesday afternoon.
~Kristen's not coming to my house for New Year's after all, so I'll be parking my ass at my mom's playing board games and drinking cheap wine coolers and being generally bitter about my single status.
~I've been listening to my Michael Buble cd nonstop. So hot.
~My uncle Brad got me the complete season of The Oblongs, which I'd never heard of. It's a deformed cartoon family who live in toxic waste. Watched two episodes last night. Very funny. Will Ferrell is the voice of the dad, Bob, who doesn't have arms or legs but is awfully cheery.
~Nikki got me the first season of Ghost Hunters for Christmas, so I'm going to let the family join in on my obsession. Steve...*drool*

9 comments:

redlaw said...

Is it wrong that, though I was concerned about your Gramps throughout your post, I also snickered because he sounds so delightfully cantankerous?

I love grandparents - I think I am a senior citizen stuck in a 27 year old body - imagine how much fun it'd be to spend an entire day bitching and moaning about body aches and the decay of the younger generations....er...okay...maybe I'm the only one who thinks that'd be fun...
*slinking off to corner to hide*

redlaw said...

And the Oblongs - I've never heard of the show - is it on TV? And Ghost Watchers too - when is that on? I need to know these things!

i i eee said...

I've watched the oblongs before. Hilarious! Especially that big penile thing sticking out of the little girl's head. *snickers*

Glad the ol' 'sophagus isn't bringing Gramps down.

April said...

Red, Gramps isn't really cantankerous. I just make him seem that way. He mostly gets on my nerves by trying to talk to me in the morning and/or telling me what to do.

The Oblongs is on Adult Swim, which apparently is evening cartoons on the cartoon network. And Ghost Hunters is on the SciFi network, but their new season hasn't started yet. They only have a rerun every once in a while now. I think their last show was on Halloween. And I've heard two different dates for airing their new season, January or March. Will be mad if I have to wait until March.

Meta, when I saw the cover picture of the family with that little girl, I was like, "What the hell is my uncle trying to make me watch??" But he told me the cartoon's website insists it is not a penis.

i i eee said...

Interesting. Who knew?

When I first saw the Oblongs -sometimes they put it on TBS late at night, I only have the cheap basic cable, no cartoon network for me - it gave me kind of a weird quirky feeling...hard to explain. Perhaps I wasn't feeling too humorous then, or that particular episode was especially distasteful and I was being prudish. But I've watched it other times and laughed a hardy ha ha.

Anonymous said...

Hey, don't feel bad. I'm single too. I went over to my friend's house last night for New Years ... it wound up not being too bad. My friend, T., was the only one that got a kiss. Carissa's hubby was at work and Candy and I aren't with anyone right now.

John said...

I'm the only living thing in the building if you discount what's growing on the shower curtain- so I didn't get to kiss anyone either.

Anonymous said...

Hope you have a better new years day. I wanted to watch the Packers game but we can't get it...sucks...cause...I do like Farve.

N.F. said...

Michael Buble is the COOLEST! I LOVE him and, not to BRAG or anythiung--heheheee, I get to see him in Feb. at the Hilton in Vegas! I CANNOT WAIT! :) Maybe I'll post pictures?! :)