Friday, February 17, 2006

My real-life conversations:

At Sharon's house, we were talking about Logan, who works at the newspaper with her and also at the movie theater.
Me: Ooh, you should ask him if he can get me some movie posters!
Sharon: Okay. What movie would you like?
Me: I don't know. Not Brokeback Mountain.
Sharon: Why not?
Me: Uh, because I'm 27, single, and live with my grandparents. I seriously do not need that poster!

Amanda and I were watching VH1's "50 Greatest Teen Stars." Wilson Cruz, who played Ricky on "My So-Called Life," was being interviewed.
Manda: Oh! I love Ricky!
Me: Yeah. Me, too.
(pause)
Manda: So, is he gay in real life, too?
Me: Yup.
Manda: *sigh* I wish I was gay.

Still watching that show, but several minutes later, Christopher Atkins is being interviewed.
Manda: Who the heck is that guy?
Me: He was in Blue Lagoon.
Manda: He played the boy?
Me: *straight face* No.
Manda: Shut up.

Grandpa complaining about all my books. I had just bought a box of books for $1 at the library book sale.
Grandpa: What do you need all those for?
Me: I like books.
Grandpa: Well, you don't need to keep them, do ya?
Me: Yes. For my own personal library.
Grandpa: Why don't ya just read 'em and then throw 'em?
Me: Would you make Picasso sell his guitars?
Grandpa: Huh?
Me: Nothing.

Yesterday at my day-long library meeting, we were being trained by a bigger guy. He was nice enough, but a little dorky. After a couple of hours of lecture, he'd send us to computers to apply what we'd just learned. I was helping an older woman figure it all out when he came up behind me and asked how everything was going. I said fine, and he rubbed his hand down my back. *shudder* Anyway, later he and some other male librarian kept laughing about the nerdiest things, and at this time some obscure artist.
Training Guy: *laughing at some lame quip* Actually, I really prefer the pre-Raphaelite painters.
Me: (with sudden clarity) *muttering* No wonder he lovingly caressed my back.

6 comments:

TOWR said...

I totally laughed at "I wish I was gay." I have thought that way more times than I probably should...

I wish my life were as funny as yours. **sigh**

redlaw said...

That was funny! But ew - he carressed your back???? *shivers* Is that like carressing the details?

Men who make unwanted moves like that get to me an unwanted kick to the groin from me - cuz that's how I roll...er....um....

April said...

Rachel, Yeah, Amanda was pretty embarrassed after that blonde moment. I think she even said, "Don't put that in your blog." hahaha

Redlaw, Yes, he seriously did caress my back. I cringed and moved away, but the damage had been done. His creepy touch lingered.
The way you roll...hahahahaha Sounds like something I'd say...when I was drunk. :)

Anonymous said...

lol, I've always thought that your conversation blogs are some of your best stuff. I wish I had conversations like that! You are too funny.

April said...

Dawn, My conversations tend to run toward the absurd. Glad you like them. :)

atsirk said...

You should really just write a book about your conversations. I'd totally buy it! They're hysterical....my favorite was your sister's "I wish I was gay." I can totally see her saying that! Hee hee!