A teenaged girl flipped me off this morning on my way to work. And no, before you comment, she wasn't someone I'd kicked off a computer at the library. I'd never seen her before. I was just minding my own business at the stop sign, patiently waiting for the car she was in to make their turn, when she stared me down and gave me the finger. And after I'd just defended how well the teenagers in my town had behaved on Halloween night. Stupid skank.
I will be starting new work hours at the newspaper next week. On Monday, they'll be setting up my new desk and Mac computer (cuz I gets ta start typesettin' press releases, yo!). And I have a fancy desktop nameplate. I'd post a pic, but I can't be displaying my full name on the Internets. I haven't actually seen my own yet, but I did see my boss' nameplate. Very nice.
So, last night while my brother went to work (full-time! benefits! 401k!), I helped take care of Aaliyah. She's finally accepted me and doesn't pull away if I try to hold her. In fact, I'm the silly aunt who likes to make funny noises and play "So big!" and give her little bits of Cheetos.
Also, while I was taking care of Aaliyah, I was peed, pooped, and puked on. In hockey, they call that a hat-trick. So, as I was leaving for the evening, wearing a cast-off pair of Amanda's jeans because mine had been soaked in baby poo, I serenaded my mother (who was cleaning up another mess) with my own version of "Proud to be an American."
"And I'm proud that I'm not a parent,
'cuz at least I know I'm free.
And that I get to go home
while you clean up that pee."
And how did I forget to post this pic of Jerz with the fake teeth that one family gave instead of candy? Would this make her the Grim Vampire?
Acquiring a Nemesis
3 years ago
9 comments:
I'll have to remember your little ditty next time I'm feeling barren.
Aaliyah is such a cute little blondie!
I hope you flipped her off back!
i i e ee, I love my nieces, but I thoroughly enjoy giving them back to their parents, too. :)
Rachel, If I hadn't been so shocked, I totally would have!
That's so great that you get to know your other niece better now. They are both adorable. Mine only sees me once a week so she has to re-remember me every time I show up. It always hurts a bit to see her puzzled looks before she recognizes me ("we had so much fun, Baby -- don't you remember??)
And what is with all the Random Acts of Hate in your community? First the awful library patron and then Birdie Girl? What freaks.
See? Teenagers suck.
(Mostly.)
What a cute baby! And I love your song--love it love it love it. My friends who don't have kids always say babysitting is the best birth control after they watch others' kids.
You know what's weird--every time I cross a busy street at a crosswalk, I always have the secret desire to flip off the drivers who are waiting for me. And I'm 31. . .
and in my head i'm singing, "too bad your a teenaged boy. mini corndogs, mini, mini corndogs..."
we do write some classics, don't we?
Marie, I hate that nanosecond of unfamiliarity on the baby's face! It kills!
Zuc, teens do have some pretty sucky moments, where you just want to slap them senseless. Provided they had any to begin with.
Sjpa, Stick around. There's plenty more nonsense songs where that came from.
Heidi, I respect your restraint. :) And your latent rebellion.
K-Lo, Indeed. Indeed.
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