Mothers, don't let your babies grow up to be jerkfaces.

I believe I've mentioned that I hate teenagers? The sullen little you-know-whats. They're so annoying. Like the girl who has the cell phone stuck to her ear the entire time she's in the library. "Are you mad at me? Why-a? Whyyy-a? Just tell me!" The boys who smell like they came straight from gym class and stink up the joint with their sweaty pitts. And who harrass the one quiet girl in the group. "Hey. Hey, you. What's the matter? Do you hate me? What's the matter with you? What's wrong? Why won't you talk to me? Hey. Do you hate me?"

Quit hanging out at the library! Go home and annoy your parents.

Today my boss told me that a fourth-grade class was going to visit the library, and all I had to do was set up a chair for the teacher to read a couple of books. And I thought "Fourth-graders? Haven't they been to a library before? Books at that reading level are kind of long to be read in one sitting. Not that we have seating areas. Just this dark corner next to the bathroom." Yeah. It wasn't fourth-graders. It was 3- and 4-year-olds. "Hi, Miss Liberryian!" they chanted in unison, all arranged in rows on our dingy carpeting. The teacher said, "Now everyone listen quietly as the librarian tells us all about the library!" Um. What? So I made a lengthy speech about stuff. I don't really remember what. Finally someone else took over. "See, kids, here's where all the little kid books are kept! And there's games! And movies!" Ohhh. So I wasn't supposed to explain the details of the summer reading program and how I catalog? I thought they were gonna be fourth-graders, people! And even then, I didn't think I had to be a part of it!

But they were all so very sweet. "Hey, Miss April? Wanna know what? I have one of those." He points at our courier bin that's filled with books to be picked up tomorrow. And another boy, "Miss April? I don't know if I've been here before." One girl refused to sit on her fanny; instead, she sat on her knees. The teacher did not like this at all and finally pulled the girl aside. I felt bad. Maybe she just doesn't like that seating position, Teach! "Goodbye, Miss April!" they again chanted in unison as they left the building, each waving and then adding an extra "goodbye" as they filed past me. And not one of them had a cell phone or an emo haircut--the precious darlings.