Annoyed

Yesterday was my day off. I went to Rice Lake to have lunch with Sharon. For those of you who don't know her, she was my fellow proofreader at the newspaper, once upon a time. After I left that position, I was replaced by a dumb but very cute boy, Logan.

Anyway. Sharon and I ate at Applebee's. So good. Haven't been there in forever. But for some reason their front entryway always smells like a farm and I have to hold my breath. As we were driving there, Sharon was complaining about Logan. She doesn't like him, mainly because he thinks he knows everything. She goes, "You don't still have a crush on him, do you?" I laughed and said no. In a surly voice I'd never heard before, she goes, "Well, good!"

So afterwards we went shopping in the mall. The mall in Rice Lake sucks a lot. I mainly shop in Bath and Body Works. I purchased some holiday goodies there, including a bottle of pink sparkly nail polish that I didn't realize until later was $9! Yikes. When we left, I told Sharon I'd like to look around in Sam Goody's for a cd. We start to walk over when I stopped suddenly. Logan was working there! We couldn't believe it. (Because he not only works at the newspaper but also the movie theater, too.) So we go in, avoiding him and fending off four different associates who asked if we needed any help, and I found what I was looking for. Then Logan appears.
Logan: Hey, how's it going?
Me and Sharon: Hi. Fine.
Me: What the heck, you're everywhere.
Logan: (smiles) Yeah.
Me: *somewhat snarling* So, do you have like 5 jobs, or what?
Logan: No. Just three.
(pause)
Logan: So, are you looking for anything specific?
Me: *annoyed* Yeah. And I found it.
Logan: Oh. Okay. Well. Just come and find me. If you need anything.

I don't know why I'm a bitch sometimes. It's like....I just can't help it.

Sharon and I also went to Payless Shoes, where I bought a pair of ugly/cute shoes for only $2, and then on to Kmart. Of course, they only had one check out, which was backed up, so I went to the service desk to check out. The guy there was the slowest person ever. It took probably 7 minutes or so to ring up like 8 items. Then he slurred his words and I thought he said my total was $25 even. And it was actually $25.81. But he put my check into the check reader crooked, which jammed it, so he had to ask for my driver's license #, which is on the freaking check. Then it jammed again and he had to call someone over to help him. And all the while, he never smiled, just kept looking at what was going on around me, going as slow as humanly possible. I wanted to snap my fingers in his face and tell him to fucking pay attention. Ugh.

This morning. Was. Crap.

Okay, I've lived with my grandparents for how many years? And it still surprises them every morning that I'm a grumpy mo-fo who doesn't want to talk? Yet they still try. It's not even like it's regular conversation. It's asking me questions like I'm a 4-year old. Don't believe me? Here's a snippet:
I'm rummaging around in the cupboards trying to find something to take to work for lunch, minding my own business.
Gramps: What are you looking for?
Me: (silence)
Gramps: Why don't you have some cereal? There's some cornflakes on the counter.
Me: (silence)
Gramps: What are you looking for??
Me: (grabbing a can of soup) I'm looking for something for lunch!
Gramps: Well why don't you have some cereal?
Me: I don't want any.
(I prepare the soup and put it in a ziplock container, then put the bowl, a spoon, and napkin all in a plastic bag.)
Grandpa: Don't forget a spoon.
(5 minutes later)
Grandma: What's in the bag?
Me: Soup for lunch.
Grandma: Did you put a cover on it?
Me: *sigh* Yes.
Grandma: Did you dilute the soup first?
Me: *sigh* Yes.
Grandma: Did you put a spoon in there?
Me: *sigh* Yes.
(She feels around the bag.)
Grandma: *panicked* I don't feel a spoon in there!
Me: *head falls back, my eyes close* It's on top of the container!
Grandma: Oh. Okay, sweetheart. I just want to make sure.
(I head for the door.)
Grandma: Did you get crackers?

And so on.

At work, checking in books that have been returned by courier, I find a book called The Greatest Lover in All of England. The cover had a bare-chested man with flowing black hair and red tights. I laughed. A lot. Then I turned to the inside page where there was a passage from the book. For fun, I started to read the passage.
"Sir Anthony," she began.
He pressed his finger to her lips. "Call me Tony."
"Sonofabitch," I growled, flipping the book away.