Why must chick lit books be so tempting and delicious to read? I have a BA in English literature* for crying out loud. I should laugh haughtily at the numerous British accounts of the single girl's woes. I should be reading to improve my mind, to prepare myself for high-society functions to which I'll never be invited. Instead, I succumb to the likes of Jennifer Crusie, Lynsay Sands, and Marian Keyes. What powers do these temptresses have over me?
In other news, Aaron and Nikki moved out, taking the dog with them. So my mom got herself a new dog, a Lhasa Apso (my favorite!) named Hunter. She renamed him Happy. I call him the Happy Hunter. He's really sweet, still a puppy. I guess yesterday Happy was chasing Jersey around and around the table. Then they'd each stop, stare at each other, and then he'd give chase again. Mom said Jersey was running the same way I always did when I was a toddler, with my arms back like I was an airplane. Incidentally, that's apparently also the last time I ever ran. Anyway, Jersey tripped over her toys, and landed next to the stereo speaker, which was blaring Bo Bice, her favorite American Idol. She was gasping for breath, giggling, with Happy on top of her licking her face, and she turns to the speaker and says, "Hi Bo Bice!" Cracks me up.
The library is currently throwing a retirement party for the lady whose position I recently took over. I'm keeping my distance because I know she doesn't like me. But that punch was my recipe, and I'm gonna head over there and boldly ladle myself (hahahahaha) a cup of it.
Oh, and I'm gonna karate chop the next old guy who insults my hair. It's perfectly fine...all moussed up and curled... I do not look like I "stuck my finger in a light socket." What the hell is with people being jerks to me lately?
*All right, all right, you bastards. It's actually just a BS, but I'm only missing the foreign language credits. You won't rest until you draw blood, will you?
Acquiring a Nemesis
3 years ago
10 comments:
Rule 1- if you think someone's hair looks bad, avoid saying anything about it. Jerks.
A-holes...the world is full of a-holes. But who cares about them when I am too busy laughing at your posts. (of course, i am laughing with you not at you, right? Right.)
I love Lhasa Apsos! We had one when I was a kid...he was a great dog!
Personally I've always wanted to look like this:
http://unit.bjork.com/specials/pics/frame.htm
I think it's hot.
Nevermind that link doesn't work.
Jersey sounds really cute. My niece, Gabriella, does stuff like that too. The other day she was playing with her grandma, put her in timeout by saying "I'm tired of this business" (just like her mom says) and then looks at me, raises her hands in the air in defeat and says "She just won't work with me!" (like her grandma says!)
Your hair is so awesome! I don't know what those old pervs are smoking. Just glare at them. That's what I'd do!! (And I keep thinking of Jersey being chased by your mom's new dog and then falling down and saying "hi bo bice!" So cute!!
Walrus, Yeah. Especially when my hair DOESN'T look bad.
Redlaw, You can laugh at me all you want. I do it all the time.
Meta, that pic was hilarious. I wish I had the guts to be bold and uninhibited like that.
Dawn, Don't you love when kids say the darnedest things? haha
Atsirk, I did glare at that guy! He kept trying to joke with me, too, and then he goes, "She won't say anything to me." So I glared at him and said, "Well that's what you get for making fun of my hair!" Then he took a step back and said, "Oh, holy Jesus." Which was an odd thing to say, don't you think?
By the way, summertime is definitely my chick lit season...and it's starting to heat up, baby!
Old men are weird.
Ummm. Yeah. Weird. I'm glad you glared at him. You should have threatened him with a pile-driver (David Spade-esq, of course!!) Crappy old man!
Meta, you're right. Old men ARE weird. And smelly.
Jolene, he was probably more jealous that MY wardrobe didn't include overalls.
Atsirk, Totally! How could I have forgotten about the pile driver??
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