Thursday I had to run home from work so I could grab one of my movies to lend to my co-worker. I walked in the house and saw my grandpa sitting in his recliner watching TV. This wasn't unusual. What was unusual was that he had no pants on, his gleaming white, smooth legs crossed at the knee. I was flabbergasted. I stood staring. Barely looking at me, he said, "Grandma's upstairs sewing my new pants." I almost fell over laughing. So freaking funny!
Yesterday, my mom, sister, Jersey, and I had lunch at Hardee's. We sat in the playroom, which was a mistake since Jersey wanted to play with another little girl instead of eating her lunch. She kept pointing at the pit of plastic balls that the little girl had jumped into. Jersey has recently learned colors, so she was saying, "Blue! Blue!" Mom says, loudly, "That's right, Jersey! Blue balls!" Then my mom's face turned bright red and she looked away quickly. Amanda and I couldn't stop laughing.
Then since Jersey didn't like her hamburger, I was giving her a bite of my roast beef sandwich. Jersey goes, "Mmm!" So Amanda goes, "You like Auntie's beef, Jersey?" Then her face turned red, and we started giggling.
Acquiring a Nemesis
3 years ago
3 comments:
blue balls!!! blue balls are ALWAYS funny! well, unless you're the one suffering, i suppose....
and your grandpa! the whole family is hilarious.
Hilarious! If it had been my family, we would have acted like blue balls was one of the most eloquent phrases of the English language, like, "pass the butter"...snore.
Although, having a grandpa half naked in a recliner...even my mother wouldn't have been able to turn her head at that! ha ha!
Jolene, I guess we're just naturally vulgar.
Redlaw, the whole family IS hilarious. You should meet a few of my cousins.
Meta, my grandpa sure tried to act like it was no big deal. Maybe if he AND your mom ignored it, it would be okay.
Ripple, I hope the day never comes that my grandpa watches Snoop Dogg. I'd take him straight in for drug testing.
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