And now out of nowhere, I talk about David Copperfield--as if by magic!

{Currently reading "My Sister From the Black Lagoon," by Laurie Fox.}

Apparently I'm into books about depression. I didn't even think about it when I picked up this book and the one before, "Girl, Interrupted." Hmm.

Yesterday at the CA library, I had to call up patrons who'd had their requested InterLibrary Loan items come in. On one call, a guy answered, and he sounded exactly like He Who Must Not Be Named. I almost dropped the phone. I kept looking at the name of the person I was supposed to be calling, like I thought maybe I'd unconsciously called his number. It depressed me.

And today at the CH library, my big fat stalker's brother came in. They're twins, so vicariously I hate him, too. He went to sit at a computer, and I suddenly had a vision of him coming up and touching me. Not even 30 seconds later, he was behind me touching my arm. I barely managed not to turn around swinging. He goes, "My computer's frozen." Well, duh, restart it. Any idiot knows that much. And besides, why'd he have to come to me, when I had my back to everyone working? There were two other librarians facing the counter and not doing anything! Ugh. I sighed deeply and decided to go to another room before kneeing anyone's groin.

Which leads me to a list for your enjoyment of my Most Awkward Moments With Boys, excluding situations involving crazies.

6) This one wasn't so much awkward as me being on the verge of committing homicide. I screamed at a guy in class. I hated him so much, and how fricken stupid he was, that I literally screamed at him in class...in college...with about 20 other people around us. But, in my defense, everyone else hated him, too, and were quite amused that I put him in his place.

5) Set up on a blind date with a guy named Justin. Within 2 seconds, I knew he was gay. I tried to remain jolly, but couldn't contain my resentment for the friend who set us up when Justin began singing every Madonna song he could think of.

4) In college, I was invited to my crush's graduation party, which was at his parents cabin out on a lake. Crush was tall, blonde, athletic, very hot. I was boggled by the invitation, but we were friends. Long before the evening was over, said crush got semi-naked 3 times, and fully naked twice! Seeing him on campus the following Monday, I...er...didn't know where to look.

3) My first kiss, at the tender age of 20 (yes, you read that correctly), was marred slightly by my sudden embarrassing bout of the giggles. 20 years old, people, and I giggled like a 12-year old at her first make-out party, which by the way, I've still never been to.

2) Once while house-sitting for a friend, one of her guy friends decided to come visit me at midnight. He didn't leave until like 4 a.m. Very annoyed. And, I don't even remember how this happened, but at one point, he had me cowering in a corner as he tried to get me to look at his nipples. No joke. My sister was there and can verify my story.

And now for the grand finale:

1) Three words. "Ice, Ice, Baby." No lie. On a date with a boy, joking around about Vanilla Ice, this guy didn't just stop at the first verse, but rapped the entire song. Needless to say, there wasn't a second date. Although I did run into him once at a comedy club, and he tried to stare me down. Thankfully, I was with a huge group of friends so I could pretend I was dating one of the guys.

Beat that.