Worst hair salon ever!

Don't have your 4- (almost 5!) year-old pretend to be your hair stylist. My sister learned this the hard way last night.

It took me an hour and a half to detangle her hair from the comb, which had been twisted through several times. Amanda called me in a panic, certain we'd have to cut it out. But I worked at slowly releasing just a few strands at a time, utilizing a giant tw0-pronged meat fork to loosen the hair at the base of the comb. Eventually, I was successful. But not before taking some pics of the deed. I'm evil, aren't I? But not as evil as the pretend hair stylist. Look at this jerk:

Birthday weekend

It was Aaliyah's birthday Saturday, but she was sick and stayed at her mother's house. So we'll have presents for her next week. Jersey's birthday is technically tomorrow, but had a big lunch and cake and presents today. First we played outside. Here's Brauny next to one of Jerz's numerous lizard toys.

He likes getting his belly rubbed. But then, who doesn't?

Jerzy and Brauny like the sandbox.

Action shot. Look at that sand fly!

Her stripper name is Sandy Bottoms. hahaha! Er...no? Oh.

MWAH! Thanking Uncle Skunkle (that's what we call my brother) for the Play-doh.

Bruce the shark bubble blower from Gram.

New outfit from Gramps and "Little Gram."

Testing out her bubble-making skills.

"Wonder Boy, what is the secret of your power?"

Rachel from work and I went to see "Batman: The Dark Knight" at the drive-in Friday night. It was pretty excellent; we were both pleased with it. There were several cringe-inducing moments that Heath Ledger's Joker gave us. And stupid freaking Matt Lauer gave a crucial plotpoint Thursday morning on the "Today Show," so I unfortunately already knew one thing. Ugh. Stupid bastard. Other than that, two thumbs up for the movie.

My mom got a new puppy at the house. He's a mix of Boston terrier, a Shih Tzu, and a chihuahua. His name is Brauny, named after my mom's favorite Milwaukee Brewer.

He's adorable and tiny and bite-y.

Mom made dessert the other day. As she was pulling the pan out of the oven, Jersey came up to her.

Jersey: What kinda cake is this, Gram?

Gram: These are lemon bars. Do you like lemon bars?

Jersey: Oh, yes. I love lemon bars! Except I haven't had them since military camp.

Jersey and her mom walking outside:

Jersey: Mom, what are those cracks in the sidewalk called?

Amanda: I don't know, Jerz. They're just cracks.

Jersey: No, according to my science book, the cracks in the sidewalk are made of needles. And needles are very dangerous.

I recently purchased a print from the LauraGeorge Etsy site, titled "Four Bookish."

I just picked it up from the frame shop yesterday and hung it over my bookcase.

Here's the other wall with my Gorjuss print, along with Jersey's handprints, a framed robot card from Kristen, and my fave photo from when Jersey was in the cutest baby contest:

I finished writing my second story for my writers group. I haven't had their reactions yet, but we meet Monday evening. Amanda, Mom and John loved it, though. After Mom quit crying, she croaked "Mediocre." ha!

My fave professor from my alma mater will be conducting a reading from his newest book at my library Wednesday night. I volunteered to make cookies. (Not just any cookies. They're chocolate mint cookies, and they're delish!)

My only other exciting news is that I joined Facebook. I know, quite the fascinating life I lead, isn't it?

"There is no charge for awesomeness ... or attractiveness."

Last night I took Jersey and Amanda to our town's new drive-in movie theater to see Kung Fu Panda, starring the voice talents of Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Seth Rogen and David Cross. Oh, and stupid Jerkface Jolie. (I don't care how many kids you adopt, Jolie, you still look greasy and stinky.)

There's a play area in the front of the field for kids/families to waste time until it gets dark enough to show the movie, so we let Jersey run amok with all the other hooligans while Amanda and I stood off to the side watching. I whispered to my sister that I hoped it didn't look like we were lesbians watching "our" daughter, then took a step further away from her.

After a while we pulled Jerz away from all the wild kids, made her go to the bathroom, then stood in line at the concession stand ... behind The Devil. *groan* She still comes into the library all the time, so I have to be nice, but ugh. It felt like for.ev.er before we got to place our orders. The young man working the register? Hawt! (He looked like this guy!) I ordered us popcorn, drinks, and Pop Rocks (for Jersey, of course).

Young Man: And which kind of Pop Rocks would you like? We have red, blue, and tropical punch.
Me: *slightly drooling at hawtness* Um, I think we'll go with the red.
Young Man: Oh, excellent choice! *grins wickedly and ever so deliciously*
Me: *incoherent babbling*

The movie was pretty funny. I think it would have been even better if a certain three-year-old hadn't kept waving her red glo-stick in my face, "falling" backwards off the middle armrest into the backseat, whining about not being able to stay to watch the second feature (which was Crappyiana Jones and the Kingdom of Crap or something), and making me acknowledge every time she understood a plot point ... but what are ya gonna do? For her first movie experience, it wasn't too bad. Amanda really liked the movie. Like four times, she says, "April, we need to buy this movie!" And by "we," she meant me.

Poor little pumpkin

Jersey's been sick again. It seems to happen regularly. She starts coughing and weezing. It got kinda bad last night, so this morning Amanda and I took her to Urgent Care. She had to have two nebulizer treatments.



It didn't hurt at all. She just had to keep the mask on and breathe normally. The treatment is meant to open her lungs more. Jersey was very good and kept ever so still during each five-minute treatment.



That was not the case in between treatments or when we awaited the results of the chest X-rays. Thank goodness I had the foresight to bring my trusty Nintendo DS so the Werz could play Super Mario Bros. because we were there FOR.EV.ER.



In fact, after waiting another 30 minutes at the pharmacy to fill her three prescriptions (the doctor said it wasn't pneumonia, a nurse said it was ... so who knows?), a dinner at China Buffet and ice cream that she didn't even eat, Jerz conked out on the drive home. (She was awake long enough to see the double rainbows, though!)

Jersey, who is 3-1/2 years old, is a big fan of Scooby-Doo. Unfortunately, she's also a big fan of KISS, due to my mother and her boyfriend's influence.

Imagine, then, Jersey's delight at an episode of Scooby-Doo that features the hard rock band. She has watched this episode, according to her mother, "42,ooo times."

This morning before heading off to school, Jerz took it upon herself to turn into a Gene Simmons demon, courtesy of a greenmarker. Note the extended tongue. And her hair is just naturally Simmons-esque.

Amanda took a washcloth to her daughter's face. Jersey: "It's okay, Mama, you can wash it off. Being a demon makes me frustrated."

It does, indeed.

"The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face." ~Jack Handey

Well, this is a few weeks after the event, but better late than never. Amanda and I took Jersey to a local pumpkin patch for good times galore. Here's Amanda and her lil one posing behind a "pumpkin truck."



Wait, which one's the pumpkin?



I imagine his name is Ole. This is Wisconsin, you know.



One giant pumpkin, at your service.



Sorry I couldn't straighten this pic. This particular computer was being jerky.



The three of us went on a wagon ride through a cornfield and the woods. Or the jungle, as Jersey insisted it was called.



On the wagon. I'm helping to raise a goofball. At least I've done something right with my life. ;)



There was even a petting zoo at the pumpkin patch. I added this picture just for Kristen.



Feeding the goat some corn. He was a very gentle goat. I know some men who could take lessons.



Jerz and I in an old houseboat that's moored upon a ginormous mound of haybales.



I've had this picture blown up with pretty borders around it for family members.



Jersey holding a pretty kitty, which promptly scratched her poor, pudgy hands.

My life in snippets

**This is my second week at my new workplace. I'm really enjoying it a lot, although I wish it were full time. I'm very happy to be using my degree again, though. And everyone has been really, really nice so far.

**Having three part-time jobs is highly stressful, chaotic, and demanding. Trying to maintain the number of hours I'd previously been working at the two libraries means that I have to rearrange my schedule even more. And since I will eventually be taking on more hours at the new job, this means my schedule is subject to change again. Ai yi yi.

**I stopped in at the newspaper where I used to work for the first time since I'd left there 2 years ago. They had undergone some pretty major renovations, so it was really strange to walk in and see such a big change. I talked to several former co-workers, though, and they all seemed happy to see me. But I've found that the place seems to have had bad luck in the front office staffing. After I left, F took my position. Then they hired M to help out F, when I had been doing the work of 2 people and had been told they wouldn't hire an additional person to help. Then F was fired, and T took her spot. Then MK, who had been my evil supervisor, quit. T took over MK's job, and D was hired to fill T's spot. Apparently they have now fired M, the part-time helper, and hired someone new for that position. I refuse to believe that my leaving that newspaper had been because of something I did wrong. And the fact that they've now gone through so many people in such a short amount of time just solidifies my belief.

**I visited Sharon last night and invited her out for dinner. She was the only person on my reference list that my new employer called, so I wanted to thank her for all the kind and enthusiastic words she'd spoken on my behalf. We went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner, then back to her house, where I snooped around her bookshelves. I actually spotted one that was my book! haha So I now have my copy of The Ghost Writer back on my own shelves. :)

**Over the weekend I watched all five hours of the BBC's Pride and Prejudice. I had just finished a fun and quirky book called Austenland the night before, so I needed another Austen fix. This is also a good article I found online today.

**Jersey gets to start a HeadStart program next month! Amanda met a representative of the school to go over particulars and such the other day. The woman revealed that after Jersey had visited the school (in May? June?), all the teachers had argued over who got to have her in their classroom! haha

**On Saturday, my dear friend Krista and her father will be coming up to my neck of the woods to cheer on Krista's brother, Justin, as he competes in a tractor-pull contest. So, for the first time ever, I'll be attending a tractor pull. Hmmm. Anyway, I'm very excited to hang out with Krista! I'm really hoping to get an opportunity to shut the lights off on her when she's in the bathroom!

**On Aug. 14, which is a Tuesday, I'll be driving up to Duluth, Minn., where Kristen and I will be attending our second Wilco concert! Woohoo! Jealous?

**Then that Friday, Kristen will be driving down to my house because on Saturday, we'll be heading over to Jolene's baby shower! Which reminds me, I need to do some more shopping. ;)

**And, as you may have noticed on Kristen's blog, she got us tickets to see Last Comic Standing when it comes to Minnesota in October! I hope Doug Benson will still be one of the contestants at that point. He make-a me laugh!

**Finally, I really, really, really, really hate when a song that I love starts being played on pop radio. I mean, sure thousands/millions of people have probably heard the song if they bought the artist's album, but if it's not on the radio, I can pretend I'm the only one who knows about it. So now, a song that has personal meaning and slices my heart open every time I hear it, is about to be shared with annoying girls the world over. I'll soon be numb.