Hodge Podge for $200, Alex.

I've been composing my annual Christmas wish list for my mother. I usually only write down one or two things. I can never think of anything to ask for. Mostly because I like to be surprised by what people think I'd like to have. But this year I've got a whopping total of 9 items. And I'm sure you already guessed that Bo Bice's soon-to-be-released album "The Real Thing" is definitely on the list. :-)

So, yesterday was hectic. Because of the rain and then falling temperatures, my car doors were all frozen shut. And I still can't get my key in the driver's side lock. I had to use a screwdriver to pry open the passenger side, then lean in and unlock the driver's side and push on the door. It still didn't open, so I had to take the screwdriver to that door as well. I was pretty panicked and didn't think I'd get to work on time, so I called the other librarian to come and open the library. I was only like 5 minutes late, though.

Question: Am I a complete loser for crying all through The Biggest Loser? Yeah, I thought so.

I had a dream about Jason Wade last night. The lead singer of Lifehouse? Anyway, mucho hot-o. Er, I guess that'd be mucho caliente. Whatev.

I'll have The Goblet of Fire and a side of embarrassment, please.

I finally got to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. My Aunt Barb took pity on me and treated me to a matinee showing on Saturday afternoon. It was packed, but we got there early enough to get decent seats. We sat in the very last row, up against the wall, so that we wouldn't have tons of people to annoy us. Excellent movie, very funny. I will go again to see it with anyone who'd like to accompany me.

Of course, the movie is 3 hours long. Now, I didn't get fidgety or antsy for it to be over. But when I shuffled out into the hallway after the credits started rolling, my eyes were completely unfocused. I vaguely saw the shape of workers standing there, waiting for us all to file out so they could clean up. One boyish figure raised his hand and said, "Hello, April." Now, let me backtrack and say that when I first learned I'd be going to see Harry Potter, I quickly changed into nicer clothes and into my skull and crossbones shoes. The former because I'd be out in public, and the latter because I hoped that if I ran into Logan, he'd be impressed with my footwear.

I don't think he noticed my shoes. Because after he said hello, I stared blearily at him until my eyes focused to see that it was, indeed, Logan (of the proofreading, cute boy kind). I smiled, we exchanged mild pleasantries, and I turned to walk away. Immediately I looked down towards the coolness that is my shoes....and instead noticed several kernals of popcorn on my shirt...on my breast shelf.

*sigh*

At least my pants weren't unzipped.

Didja hear the one about...

Ah, Thanksgiving Day. A time for annoying the crap out of family members.

9:00 a.m.
Gramps is rushing Grandma around, telling her to hurry with the potatoes, hurry with the turkey, hurry with the fruit salad. Even though no one else would show up until at least 11:30.

9:30 a.m.
Gramps walks over to where I'm sitting at the dining room table, wondering if I should make something else for the dinner, and if so, what? Gramps says, "You ever hear about ol' Thurry Green?" "Can't say that I have," I reply. In which case, I am promptly told in great detail the exploits of ol' Thurry Green and my great-grandfather.

10:00 a.m.
My grandma is grumbling about Grandpa rushing her. Still no arrivals to the house. I sit in a recliner reading a book and waiting impatiently for my mother to arrive. She is always, always, always late. She said she'd be there at 10. I call her. She says she'll be there at 10:30.

10:30 a.m.
Grandma has made her third phone call to my uncle Don, asking when he'll be arriving. Of course, his cell phone is off, so the voice mail picks up immediately, and Grandma thinks he can hear her and just chooses not to pick up. "Donaldo, this is your mother! Are you there? Pick up if you're there... Are you ignoring me? Okay. Call your mother."

10:35 a.m.
Grandpa calls Don. "Hello, Don. This is your father. I don't know if Ma called you or not. She says she did, but what kind of message did she leave? So. Are you coming? Make sure to get here at 11:30. Sharp. Bye." I am then exasperated by more stories of ol' Thurry Green. And my mother has yet to arrive.

10:54 a.m.
Mom finally arrives with a pumpkin pie, brownies, and Jersey. Jersey is wearing a black velvet dress with purple velvet pants. It looks kinda silly, but she's warm. I beg Mom not to let Grandpa tell anymore Thurry Green stories.

11:48 a.m.
Don finally arrives, not having turned on his cell phone at all to hear any of the stories. He plays them for us, and we laugh at my grandparents.

12:00 p.m.
We say grace and sit down to eat. Jersey sits on my lap and I feed her, though I make Mom give her drinks from her glass instead of mine. Gross.

12:02 p.m.
Grandpa starts telling more stories. Over. and. over. again. The same ones. I think he's finally cracked and gone senile. At his fifth telling of how Aaron had called from jail asking to be bailed out, I leaned over to my mom. "Is he drunk?" I ask. Mom nods once. "I knew it the minute I walked in the door," she says.

12:30 p.m.
Grandpa goes to sleep off his early morning drunk. Grandma, Mom and I play dice and chase Jersey around, until she finally falls asleep, too. Don watches football.

So, those were the main highlights. I later begged Grandpa never to talk about Thurry Green again. To which he repeated a story, and I was annoyed (and slightly amused).

Mom dyed my hair yesterday. The color is called chocolate caramel. Mmmmm... Oh, and we watched "Kingdom of Heaven" with Orlando Bloom. And he was mega hot in the movie. He was hot in LOTR, of course, and Pirates of the Caribbean. But in "Troy," he was so wimpy. Ugh. Totally manly and hotly in Kingdom, though. Wanted to scromp on him. But Mom and I agreed that the chick in that movie was completely skanky looking. She looked very dirty-ish.

And Krista sent me birthday presents in the mail!! She got me a heavy yellow Oriental-type picture frame, my own sunglasses, a pink "birthday girl" ribbon, and sillystring. But the best was a matted and framed picture of a pink water lily and pad on water. Very beautiful! I already have it hanging in my room, and it's going to look so excellent with my black and pink pin-striped bedding...when I finally pay off my layaway.

Finished watching the second season of "The Gilmore Girls." *sigh* I want more, now! The best part was when Jess said he was checking out Rory's book collection to see if she had "Franny and Zooey." So. freaking. hot! I had to rewind and watch it again. Then I paused it just so I could let the hotness settle upon me. Oh, to have a cute boy want to buy me "Franny and Zooey." So unfair.

It's like...why would that happen...in a world...

Yo-ho-ho, my head is a'killin' me.

I've had a headache all morning. Which led to me feeling nauseated and wanting to put up a "Stay Out" sign on the library door. I finally found some ibuprofen in the bathroom. Now it's a dull ache and the nausea is fading.

Must have been from headbanging to "Psycho Killers" this morning. Damn you, Talking Heads!

Well, my mom is coming over to my grandparents' for Thanksgiving tomorrow, but my brother and sister aren't coming. So Mom is cooking them their own turkey today. Aaron won't come because his girlfriend isn't allowed over. Oh, yes. You read correctly. The one who cheated on him, he went ballistic over, and spent close to 2 weeks in jail because of. (Technically, he'd already had a warrant out because of unpaid fines and that was why he stayed so long, but I digress.) And Amanda refuses to come over because she got into an argument with my grandparents a few weeks ago and is not allowed over until she apologizes for her behavior. She's stubborn and won't do it. Ah, sweet familial harmony.

This weekend I must get started on being crafty. No, not like a wolf, but like Martha Stewart. Minus the jail time.

Sonofabitch! Finally, a really cute guy walked into the library...and I saw the flash of gold around his left ring finger. Of course.

UPDATE: Cute Married Guy asked me if he could use the printer, and he caught me looking at Rachel's page, which, if you'll remember, has pictures of her with her mouth open. So I'm sure he thinks I'm a freak. Then he came back to pay for the papers he'd printed, and within the space of 1 minute, I managed to
1) Knock into the keyboard tray while getting up,
2) Kick into a box on the floor,
3) Hit my hand on the counter,
4) Drop his change, and
5) Struggled to form a coherent response to his "Thank you."

As if that wasn't enough, as he was leaving, I was about to fall against my chair when he suddenly turned, grinned, and said, "You're a life-saver." The words rolled around in my brain, trying to compute. I finally said, "Er, that's nice to know." Yes, that's all I said, though you'd think having an English degree would help a person with basic conversation skills. He smiled again and left. I'm an idiot.

I got the *doo doo* babysittin' blues...

Things that Jersey can now say:
* Grandpa (though it sounds like grumpa)
* Who's that? (along with "what's that?" and "where's grumpa?")
* Bye-bye
* Oh, see that?
* Mama, Dada, Deeda (which means Keesha, the dog)
* Hey, baby (she says it like, "Hey, baaaayyybeee." So cute!)
* And a variety of other things that I can't think of.

She also can get through the baby gate, point to her eyes, ears, nose, mouth and hair, and has two distinctive happy dances. She knows exactly what her shoes and socks are and will bring them to you if you ask nicely. She loves to share and look at books. Her favorite game is peek-a-boo, though knocking things over is a close second. She also knows how to turn the TV off (and she does it often).

************************************************************************************
We got brand new movies into the library today, so I snarfed them up before anyone else could. Well, the ones that didn't already have a waiting list. So I'll have lots to occupy my time over the Thanksgiving break. I have off Thurs.-Sun. One of the movies was Rodgers & Hammerstein's The King and I. I love that movie. My grandma actually saw Yul Brynner once at an airport. She and her sister were standing on the lower level, and my grandma looked up at the second level and saw him standing there. He noticed her staring at him, so he bowed to her in recognition. That is so damn hot!! Yowza!

I put up my little Christmas tree that I bought on clearance after last season. It's just a little tabletop tree with a silver bucket stand. I'd also bought a red and white tree skirt at the same time. I set it up on a little decorative chair I have near my bed, and it looks cute. I don't have lights yet, though. I'd bought some baby blue and silver ornaments and silver ribbons to hang them from, but the ribbons are too long. I'll have to go find some regular hooks.

45 minutes left of work. *whine* I wanna go home! These kids here are driving me nuts. I feel like a babysitter.

"He could sell a ketchup popsicle to a lady in white gloves."

I drove safely on Friday afternoon. I was in the minority. It was the opening of deer hunting season, so everyone was on their way up north to various cabins and hunting lands. And they were in a hurry. In fact, I saw 6 different State Patrol vehicles on the drive up to Superior, and 5 of them had someone pulled over. Actually, one part made me laugh. There was a guy who'd been on my tail for a long time, very annoying. He finally whipped around me and was gone in a flash. About a mile later, there he was on the side of the road, with a trooper behind, lights flashing. So excellent.

Jolene and Krista couldn't make it up to Superior, though. Krista's car died (actually a funny story, hope she blogs about it) and Jolene had a lot of other things going on. When I got to Kristen's house, she'd already bought Chinese food for everyone, including Krista. Since Krista was a no-show, we split her dinner. Hello, sweet and sour chicken!

We did a lot of shopping. And eating. And jamming to Rachel's November CD. (Very excited for December's!!) In fact, while we were driving, a particular song came on (I forget which one, Kristen would remember), and Kristen told me about rocking out to that song. Conversation as follows.
Kristen: I love this song.
Me: Yeah.
Kristen: On my way to get the Chinese food yesterday, I was listening to this CD. I stopped at Taco John's and got a meat and potato burrito, when this song came on.
Me: *looking at her strange*
Kristen: So I was just driving along, eating my burrito, and picturing myself headbanging to this song. *she starts laughing*
Me: *still looking at her strangely*
Kristen: What?
Me: Let me get this straight. You were on your way to get Chinese food?
Kristen: Yeah.
Me: And you stopped. At Taco John's. To get a meat and potato burrito.
Kristen: Yeah.
Me: On your way to get Chinese food.
Kristen: Yup! *keeps laughing*

I could only shake my head and laugh.

Saturday morning we were up by 7....er.... :30. And along with one of her friends who came, Bozidar (don't know if I spelled that right), we helped her parents move tons of furniture from their old house into their new house. We worked until about 12. Then we had lunch. Kristen's mom kept asking Kristen if she thought $50 was enough to give Bozidar for helping out. Plus, he was getting Kristen's old bed and 2 air conditioners from the old house. So Kristen and I folded our arms in protest, like, "Well, we helped out, too, what do we get?" So her mom gave us money for the Olive Garden. Which we went to on Sunday.

We also went to Catherine's in Duluth on Saturday. I haven't had to drive in Duluth in like a year or two, so I was nervous. For those of you who don't know, Duluth is very hilly. Very. So I was stopped at a red light, going uphill, and Kristen tells me to take a left. When the light turned green, I took my foot off the brake, and we promptly began a slight roll backwards. I panicked, jammed my foot on the accelerator, and squealed my tires as we jerked up and around the corner. Embarrassing, but oh so funny. People on the sidewalks were staring at me. They probably called me a crazy woman driver. Oh, well. And if you're wondering if I purchased anything at Catherine's, I did. I bought a little heart charm and a package of tomato- and barbecue-flavored nuts called California Crunchies. These two I'm sending to my uncle in California. I thought it would be funny to send him something from Wisconsin with CA on the label. I'm a dork.

Sunday was my birthday. Kristen refused to go see Harry Potter with me, even though I've previously gone to see The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl with her. Kristen's dad actually bought me a little birthday cake. It was very sweet of him. I think he did it because I laugh at his jokes. :) Kristen gave me a bar of Lindor chocolate. I ate almost the whole thing last night. And by almost, I mean I gave my grandma two pieces and snarfed down the rest. But I shared my birthday cake with her, too!

I got a lot of Christmas shopping done. Thank goodness for Target's $1 bins. heh heh But since I got presents for some people who read this page, I cannot reveal my bargains. I did buy myself a present, though. Tommy Boy, the Holy Schnikes Edition. I know you're all jealous. And I got Jersey a Christmas outfit to wear for pictures and holiday partying. It's a red sweater with a black fur collar and glass buttons, and a pair of black velvet pants with a red ribbon trim. I already showed Mom and Manda. They are going to buy her a matching pair of black "stepping" shoes. That's what I used to call my fancy shoes when I was little. Stepping shoes. Or tapping shoes.

There were other things that happened, but I'll leave them for Kristen to write about at her discretion. Or lack thereof. :)

Jump down, turn around, pick a bale of truth...

I have heard many strange things from people during my years of customer service. To my question of "How are you today?" I've been answered, "Well, I was diagnosed with brain cancer this morning." I've been screamed at because a woman wanted to buy a 36-oz. box of cereal at the 12-oz. sale price. I've had a package of batteries thrown at me. While working at Kmart, I've heard every sneery, condescending joke imaginable about Martha Stewart. One Christmas Eve at Kmart, one woman even threatened to slap me, due to my looking at her.

But never have I been told by a person that, due to medical problems, they have to manually use their fingers to stimulate their rectal muscles in order to force their bowel movements. Until now. Oh, the joy of being forced to be polite to random rantings.

In other news, my brother is out of jail. And in a stunning turn of events, he actually read a book. No, not just any book, my friends. My brother, whom, by the way, I have never seen read a book since probably 2nd grade, read the entire book, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings. I haven't even read that sucker yet!! And, what's more, he was excited about it, and even asked if I could get him the next book! You could have knocked me over with a feather, I was so astonished.

Also, while in jail, he beat up a pedophile. Now, it's nothing for me to say that Aaron was in a fight with someone. No big surprise. And I never approve. I always roll my eyes and wish that he'd grow up. But once he told me exactly why he beat this particular guy up, I cheered. I won't tell you the reason, as I'm already scarred by the things this guy said, and I wouldn't wish any of you to be haunted, either. Just know that if you did know what the guy said, you would wish you could have kicked his ass, too. But my brother did it for you.

Cara called me late last night. Of course, she called right when the second half of "ER" began, so I don't know what happened next. *$(%^#* Anyway, she was supposed to call at 4 p.m., but never did.
Cara: Sorry I didn't call at 4.
Me: It's okay. I guess.
Cara: I went to Red Lobster.
Me: OH! I see how it is. Hope you enjoyed their cheesy garlic biscuits, bitch!
Cara: I did.
Me: Hmph. *growling*

And apparently she still has not received any help from FEMA or Red Cross, the dirty bastards. And her ex-husband, Josh, is now working for FEMA. I almost gagged. He's so full of himself normally, I can only imagine how high his horse is now. Although it's pretty impressive just how massive his ego is, considering he's never kept a job longer than like 2 months.

Also, my cousin Hallie had her baby on Monday, Nov. 14. She had a little girl, Bridget Lea. I'm only guessing on those spellings, by the way. You never know these days, with all these crazy kids today makin' babies an' all their crazy spellin's. But the baby was healthy, 7 lbs. 4 oz. And so far they haven't noticed any of the abnormalities that her older sister, Brooklyn, has. Thank God for that.

Anyway, I'm heading up to Superior as soon as I'm done with work today. I'm having the other library worker finish up the afternoon shift so that I can start driving before it's too dark. Wisconsin + Snow + Darkness + Highways = Scary.

Horoscoped!

Immediately after publishing my last post, I checked my horoscope. Here's what the dang thing had to say:

"A voice from the past is due -- and you'll be downright tickled to hear it. Just don't let your delight interfere with that alarm going off in the back of your head. What didn't work once may not work twice."

Dude! I get it! I can't have a relationship with him! Sheesh. I'm not trying to. I wouldn't want one, honestly. Does that mean I can't be friends with him? Does it, oh mighty stars?

Today I came across a box of goodies from my high school days. Oh, the treasures I found. Jewelry boxes filled with the cheapest, crappiest "jewelry" one could ever find. The two frog figurines I'd previously posted about. Angel figurines from my late grandmother. Basketball cards--Muggsy Bogues! A pin-up of Brendan Fraser...yummy. A book of Dr. Seuss-isms, given to me by dear Nicolina. A story I'd written about a final hurrah with friends before heading to college. Totally cheesy, but, oh well. And a binder filled with the lamest poetry ever. Ever. So bad, in fact, that I destroyed quite a bit of it. And no, I won't regret it later, as some may try to tell me. But it was a fun trip back into my teen years.

A flash in the pan

I'm feeling rather melancholy today. I have no social life to speak of, which only drives the message home harder that I used to have so much fun.

Two years ago at this time, I loved a boy. We were great friends. We went to movies together, joked around nonstop, had the greatest discussions on books and movies. He sang "Love Me Tender" while looking into my eyes.

One year ago at this time, I was mostly over the hurt of Him with another girl, especially since they'd broken up. We could laugh again, hang out... He even watched Kristen and I do karaoke (a better version of "Karma Chameleon" you'll never hear).

And the friendship ended. Without my even knowing it for a while. I'd changed jobs, trying for a better life and career. The career didn't work out. And then the life slowly died away. All the friends I'd had at my former workplace didn't call me or invite me out like before. And He started dating someone new, which meant I could no longer be a part of his life, I guess. I felt like a leper. I still do. It's lonely in this town.

I wish I could say that I'm completely over him, but I'm not. I don't mean that I long for him, daydream about him or anything. I would never even want to have a relationship with him, too much has passed. But I miss him so much. We really did have so much fun. A guy who reads? And has no problem holding his own in a conversation? Who makes me laugh...a lot! Even with all his faults, he was such a good guy. And that makes me wonder, will there ever be another guy like him?

A couple of my friends don't like him. Jolene, for instance. And my sister. Yes, I know he wasn't perfect. I am not romanticizing the past. But some did. My mom, Cara, and Krista all liked him. Kristen didn't like him when she wasn't around him, but she sure warmed up when he was around. Because he was so damn charamatic. You couldn't help but like him.

There's not really a point to this blog. Nothing's changed. He's out of my life. So are all of my friends from that time. What do you call that? A flash in the pan? "Something which disappoints by being over too quickly." Yeah, that about says it all.

I'm just tired of the missing.

You may be surprised by...

Okay, this is kind of a generic post today, but it's passing the time at work. Today's post is just a couple of lists, so that you, dear reader, may better know me.

You may be surprised by...

Things I Hate
*People whistling, except my grandpa. It just gets on my nerves.
*Nicholas Sparks. Why anyone would want to subject themselves to his writing is beyond me. In Hell, I believe you are forced to read his sacchrine, poorly written books.
*The word "retarded." It really bothers me when people use the word to imply they made a mistake or did something stupid. I used to say it all the time without any kind of awareness of how rude it is. Until I met my friend Jess, whose brother is a special needs person. It hurt her tremendously to hear people say "retarded" all the time. I vowed never to say it again, and have rarely slipped up on my vow.
*My handwriting. It changes all the time, and I don't even mean for it to.
*My spending habits/lack of financial intelligence. I think I need a personal accountant.
*Living so far away from friends. College was the greatest time in my life. Period. And it really, really sucks to have friends so far away from me.
*Cleaning my room and/or washing dishes. Especially the dishes. HATE IT.
*Confrontation. I hate getting into arguments, especially if it's with someone I don't really know. (Like what JUST happened here at the library!) I feel my face get hot, my hands start shaking, and I just don't know what to do with myself.


Things I Love
*Jersey (of course!).
*Taking pictures. Spendy hobby, though.
*Leaf accessories. I have leaf things everywhere. I'm planning on one day, when I get my own place, an autumn themed bedroom. Either that or a pirate theme. Tough decision.
*Chocolate. Like you didn't know that one. But did you know Ferrero Rochers are my favorite fancy chocolate and that Take 5 is my favorite candybar? Ha. Thought so.
*Movie soundtracks. Most of my CD collection comes from some movie I was obsessed with. Yes, this includes the movie "Beaches." *blush*
*Short stories. I love reading collections of short stories even more than regular novels. In a novel, you can have like 200 pages to tell your tale. With a story, you have to be clever enough to have a plot, climax, and satisfying ending within a short amount of pages.
*Giving presents. I'm pretty good at it, too. Just ask Kristen.
*Eddie and the Cruisers. I can't help it. I've loved that movie forever and consequently, Michael Pare, Tom Berenger, and Joe Pantoliano.

Things I Miss
*College. This includes classes, homework, sparring with professors, making new friends, a sense of community, lots of events to attend, but especially all my close friends I made.
*My Uncle Brad. He lives in Palm Springs, CA, and I haven't seen him since last Christmas. He's so freaking funny, brilliant, and just plain fun to be around. Unless he's crabby, then you really want to watch out!
*Watching "Tommy Boy" and "Dumb and Dumber" with Krista, and all the long walks we used to take around Superior.
*My faith.
*Holding Jersey when she was so tiny, only 7 pounds. These days she breaks my back when I pick her up. :)
*Having guy friends. I used to have a ton of guy friends, what the hell happened? The last one was Tony, and we know how that turned out...bloody bastard.
*My great-grandfather. I don't remember why, but we used to call him Grandpa Hoo-Hooey. lol And when I was really little, he gave me two porcelain frogs from his enormous frog collection. I still have them.
*Writing. I used to write lots of poetry. I used to write short stories. I miss it so much. I wish I could do more than this whole journal thing, but I pick up a pen or sit at the computer and just feel tired.

Anyway, now you know me. A little.

So ding-dong, there's the doorbell. Hello, men in white.

I want the above song out of my head!! Dang you, Kristen!!

My mom is home from the hospital. Her surgery went fine and only took about 40 minutes. She recovered for about another hour and a half before I could take her home. She's been resting in her room. The hernia was a result from a weakness in the lining of her stomach wall, which allowed her intestine to push out. Gross. I think it's called an inguinal hernia. Or something.

As soon as she was out of surgery, they wheeled her back to her curtained "room" to let her rest. I stood next to her. She was awake, but still a little bit drugged up. She said she remembers saying to the doctors right before unconsciousness, "Jersey says 'Go, go, go!'" We laughed at that. Then she kept cracking jokes, but then every time she laughed, it hurt. The nerd. I told her to stop joking around. She goes, "Laughter is the best medicine," began laughing, and then promptly grabbed her side in pain. It was pretty darn funny. Like, when you're in church or a funeral, and you're supposed to be quiet and somber, but you get a case of the giggles? It was like that. But doubly funny because her laughing was hurting her, which sounds horrible, but she was laughing, too.

Her anesthisiologist was the same guy who'd performed Amanda's epidural....when I almost passed out and was ordered by a nurse to lay down on the floor. *embarrassed* He's a pretty good-looking guy. A cross between Kevin Costner and a slimmed-down Garth Brooks. After he talked for a while to Mom and left (before the surgery), Mom turned to me and said, "Now, what did he just say? I was too busy staring at him to listen." I replied, "I have no idea. I had 'Friends in Low Places' stuck in my head." :)

And while a guy was inserting the IV into Mom's hand, a nurse asked her if she'd brought any valuables with her. Mom said, "No, just my daughter." They nurse and guy-person (I don't know his title) both smiled, and the guy said, "Aw, what a tender moment." I responded, "Eh, it's just because I'm her ride home." They all laughed and left. I said to my mom, "Leave it to me to actually ruin a tender moment." Out with the sentiment, in with the funny!

There may or may not have been other funny things. I forget. I'm almost another year older, you know.

Birthday wishes and Joaquin dreams

The countdown begins. Less than 2 weeks until my birthday. So here's the plan:

Everyone write a letter to Joaquin Phoenix and beg him to come visit me on my birthday. Sure, he might be kinda busy with this whole "Walk the Line" film just out, but if enough people bombard him with letters, he's bound to notice, right? Don't say anything like, "She's your biggest fan," cuz he probably hears that all the time and may decide to quiz me on his numerous films. No, we need a different approach.

How about saying, she's not too bad to look at? Or maybe, she's good for a few laughs? Tell him I'm not requesting that he bring a present (though I wouldn't turn them away). I just want to make out, er, I mean talk with him. And he can sing like Johnny Cash to me. Actually, he could sing like Weird Al and I'd love every minute of it.

I'd even choke down meals full of tomatoes and onions (he's a vegan). For J.P., I'd walk the line. Oh, that was a crappy ending. Don't tell him I said that.

It is only out of sheer morbid curiosity that I allow this freakshow to continue.

My brother is in jail.

I guess he caught his girlfriend cheating on him. He went over to her house while the guy was there. I don't know any details yet, but I'm assuming he only started screaming because he was picked up on a disorderly conduct charge. If he'd hit the guy, it would have been an assault charge.

I don't feel bad that he's in jail because he needs to learn not to be so hot-headed. But I do feel bad about the cheating thing. The last three girlfriends now have all cheated on him, and all with the same guy. I'd want to beat the guy up, too.

In other news, the CA Library director has to have surgery on the 15th, so I have to start taking all of her hours. Now, I love getting more hours because I am broke. But I don't like being the only person working there. It just gets so hectic. I'm also going to be doing some painting for the CH Library after hours. I will be tired, but I must think of the money.

I was going to pick up the film I'd had developed, but if you refer to the previous line, you'll understand the dilemma. :( I want to see those pictures!!

I went to my Aunt Barb's house yesterday with my grandparents. We had lunch there, and I brought along a massive amount of crafting books to look through. Because of said dilemma, this year's Christmas presents will have to be homemade. I'm kinda excited about it, though. The CH director gave me a ton of things to work with, and I bought a few items at the Dollar Store which will lovingly be spruced up by my inexperienced hands. Hot glue, here I come!

You toyed with my heart....like it was a toy heart.

My mom has to have surgery on her hernia next Thursday morning. So she'll be off of work for awhile, up to 3 weeks. Her boss gave her a hard time because another lead person is also having surgery for her shoulder. The boss says, "Well, gee. I hope you're not both going to be gone at the same time." Sure. Let's just have Mom reschedule sewing up her lower intestine. Come on! And then he kept trying to get her to come into work today because all the other leads wouldn't come in. She told him no, she'd been working the last 5 Saturdays in a row, and she can barely walk because of the pain. What an ass.

Please tell me why I keep having 30+ year old men be all like...nice...to me. You know. Not nice, but nice. Prolonged eye contact, too big smile, accidental hand touching. *shudder* Maybe 38 isn't old, but it's too old for me!

And I was asking a lady at work about this really hot guy who always used to come into the library. He was very well-dressed, killer smile, friendly, and actually read books! I was told he moved to Detroit with his brother. I was annoyed, of course. Then she told me that he was mostly bald under his baseball caps.
ME: Good. That's what he gets for leaving me for Detroit.

Open up, Baby Bird, cuz Mama's got a fat nightcrawler of truth!

Monday night, Amanda and I took Jersey out trick-or-treating. I took lots of pictures of Jerz in her bumblebee costume, but have not yet developed the film. I'll post them as soon as they're ready.

Anyway, we got a heavy bag of candy. And not because of how dang adorable Jersey was. It's because my sister is so short and young looking, everyone assumed she was the trick-or-treater! They'd drop a fistful of candy into the bag, then say, "Oh, and here's one more for the baby." It was hilarious, though it embarrassed Amanda.

And I ran into Brad and his wife, Paula, as they were taking their son around the houses. That sucked ass. To update (quickly) those who are unfamiliar: B & I worked together one summer a long time ago. He was married to P, but I didn't know for quite awhile and we flirted all the time. I went back to college. B & P separated. B started calling me. Flirtation, but that's as far as it went. B & P got back together, and have been off and on ever since. They are officially divorced, but are currently seeing each other. P works with my mom. Mom previously disliked P as much as me, but now I guess they're buddy-buddy. *gag*

Updated? Okay. So, we're all trick-or-treating, and run into each other. All embarrassed. I say hi to them both, Paula giving me a frozen smile. Manda and I take Jerz across the street to a house. I turn and see Brad pointing in our direction, like, "Aren't we going to that house?" And Paula taking off in the opposite direction of me. I was simultaneously relieved and annoyed. I told Mom about it later, and she nodded sadly at me. Which immediately annoyed the crap out of me. (Mom has the habit of bashing people I like, and liking people I bash. Annoying, right?)

Mom: (looking ever so sad about poor Paula) Yeah, Paula and I had a talk about you last week.
Me: What?? What the hell did you say about me?
Mom: Well, she said to me, "I know that when your daughter worked at Smith Co. (yes, I just made up a corporate name), Brad had a thing for her really bad."
Me: (quite smug) Ha ha. What did you tell her?
Mom: I didn't lie. I told her that yes, he did. But then I told her that nothing happened between you. You have certain morals, and then told her what those were. She said that you were someone to be proud of.
Me: (annoyed) What morals?
Mom: Well, that you don't believe in sex before marriage.
Me: Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis? I'm not waiting for marriage. I'm waiting until there's someone who's not 20 years older and drunk.
Mom: Well, whatever.
Me: Oh, great. Now she thinks I'm some little goodie-goodie and a prude. *exhaling loudly*

So that whole conversation was annoying. Look, I'm sorry if her husband had a thing for me. I never so much as held his hand. Ever. And it's not my fault they keep breaking up and getting back together. It's not my fault he keeps screwing other girls. (Btw, I never knew he cheated on her until recent years. And I swear to God, I never saw him outside of work that one summer, except for a random meeting in Bargain Bill's, when I was with my uncle.) I'm not going to suddenly befriend her or feel sorry for her. She's the one who keeps taking him back. So there, Mother. Take your sympathies elsewhere.

I also kept running into former classmates taking their kids out on Halloween. That was also annoying. Yes, annoyance is rooted deep within me.

My mom got her test results back, but they couldn't find anything wrong with her. And neither of the two doctors could feel her Lemony Snicket. So she's going in for another consultation this afternoon, and talk about further testing and options. She stayed home from work yesterday and today because she doesn't feel good. And also because she caught her own philandering husband (separated for 3? years), who apparently recently told her that he "wanted to change and have a future with her," making out in a car with The Whore he originally had the affair with. So she's doubly depressed. (And I maintained the strength not to say, "I told you so.")

Oh, and one last thing. If there's one thing that I hate, it's when Kristen is right. I now love The Gilmore Girls. Dang it!