Didja hear the one about...

Ah, Thanksgiving Day. A time for annoying the crap out of family members.

9:00 a.m.
Gramps is rushing Grandma around, telling her to hurry with the potatoes, hurry with the turkey, hurry with the fruit salad. Even though no one else would show up until at least 11:30.

9:30 a.m.
Gramps walks over to where I'm sitting at the dining room table, wondering if I should make something else for the dinner, and if so, what? Gramps says, "You ever hear about ol' Thurry Green?" "Can't say that I have," I reply. In which case, I am promptly told in great detail the exploits of ol' Thurry Green and my great-grandfather.

10:00 a.m.
My grandma is grumbling about Grandpa rushing her. Still no arrivals to the house. I sit in a recliner reading a book and waiting impatiently for my mother to arrive. She is always, always, always late. She said she'd be there at 10. I call her. She says she'll be there at 10:30.

10:30 a.m.
Grandma has made her third phone call to my uncle Don, asking when he'll be arriving. Of course, his cell phone is off, so the voice mail picks up immediately, and Grandma thinks he can hear her and just chooses not to pick up. "Donaldo, this is your mother! Are you there? Pick up if you're there... Are you ignoring me? Okay. Call your mother."

10:35 a.m.
Grandpa calls Don. "Hello, Don. This is your father. I don't know if Ma called you or not. She says she did, but what kind of message did she leave? So. Are you coming? Make sure to get here at 11:30. Sharp. Bye." I am then exasperated by more stories of ol' Thurry Green. And my mother has yet to arrive.

10:54 a.m.
Mom finally arrives with a pumpkin pie, brownies, and Jersey. Jersey is wearing a black velvet dress with purple velvet pants. It looks kinda silly, but she's warm. I beg Mom not to let Grandpa tell anymore Thurry Green stories.

11:48 a.m.
Don finally arrives, not having turned on his cell phone at all to hear any of the stories. He plays them for us, and we laugh at my grandparents.

12:00 p.m.
We say grace and sit down to eat. Jersey sits on my lap and I feed her, though I make Mom give her drinks from her glass instead of mine. Gross.

12:02 p.m.
Grandpa starts telling more stories. Over. and. over. again. The same ones. I think he's finally cracked and gone senile. At his fifth telling of how Aaron had called from jail asking to be bailed out, I leaned over to my mom. "Is he drunk?" I ask. Mom nods once. "I knew it the minute I walked in the door," she says.

12:30 p.m.
Grandpa goes to sleep off his early morning drunk. Grandma, Mom and I play dice and chase Jersey around, until she finally falls asleep, too. Don watches football.

So, those were the main highlights. I later begged Grandpa never to talk about Thurry Green again. To which he repeated a story, and I was annoyed (and slightly amused).

Mom dyed my hair yesterday. The color is called chocolate caramel. Mmmmm... Oh, and we watched "Kingdom of Heaven" with Orlando Bloom. And he was mega hot in the movie. He was hot in LOTR, of course, and Pirates of the Caribbean. But in "Troy," he was so wimpy. Ugh. Totally manly and hotly in Kingdom, though. Wanted to scromp on him. But Mom and I agreed that the chick in that movie was completely skanky looking. She looked very dirty-ish.

And Krista sent me birthday presents in the mail!! She got me a heavy yellow Oriental-type picture frame, my own sunglasses, a pink "birthday girl" ribbon, and sillystring. But the best was a matted and framed picture of a pink water lily and pad on water. Very beautiful! I already have it hanging in my room, and it's going to look so excellent with my black and pink pin-striped bedding...when I finally pay off my layaway.

Finished watching the second season of "The Gilmore Girls." *sigh* I want more, now! The best part was when Jess said he was checking out Rory's book collection to see if she had "Franny and Zooey." So. freaking. hot! I had to rewind and watch it again. Then I paused it just so I could let the hotness settle upon me. Oh, to have a cute boy want to buy me "Franny and Zooey." So unfair.