Jump down, turn around, pick a bale of truth...

I have heard many strange things from people during my years of customer service. To my question of "How are you today?" I've been answered, "Well, I was diagnosed with brain cancer this morning." I've been screamed at because a woman wanted to buy a 36-oz. box of cereal at the 12-oz. sale price. I've had a package of batteries thrown at me. While working at Kmart, I've heard every sneery, condescending joke imaginable about Martha Stewart. One Christmas Eve at Kmart, one woman even threatened to slap me, due to my looking at her.

But never have I been told by a person that, due to medical problems, they have to manually use their fingers to stimulate their rectal muscles in order to force their bowel movements. Until now. Oh, the joy of being forced to be polite to random rantings.

In other news, my brother is out of jail. And in a stunning turn of events, he actually read a book. No, not just any book, my friends. My brother, whom, by the way, I have never seen read a book since probably 2nd grade, read the entire book, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings. I haven't even read that sucker yet!! And, what's more, he was excited about it, and even asked if I could get him the next book! You could have knocked me over with a feather, I was so astonished.

Also, while in jail, he beat up a pedophile. Now, it's nothing for me to say that Aaron was in a fight with someone. No big surprise. And I never approve. I always roll my eyes and wish that he'd grow up. But once he told me exactly why he beat this particular guy up, I cheered. I won't tell you the reason, as I'm already scarred by the things this guy said, and I wouldn't wish any of you to be haunted, either. Just know that if you did know what the guy said, you would wish you could have kicked his ass, too. But my brother did it for you.

Cara called me late last night. Of course, she called right when the second half of "ER" began, so I don't know what happened next. *$(%^#* Anyway, she was supposed to call at 4 p.m., but never did.
Cara: Sorry I didn't call at 4.
Me: It's okay. I guess.
Cara: I went to Red Lobster.
Me: OH! I see how it is. Hope you enjoyed their cheesy garlic biscuits, bitch!
Cara: I did.
Me: Hmph. *growling*

And apparently she still has not received any help from FEMA or Red Cross, the dirty bastards. And her ex-husband, Josh, is now working for FEMA. I almost gagged. He's so full of himself normally, I can only imagine how high his horse is now. Although it's pretty impressive just how massive his ego is, considering he's never kept a job longer than like 2 months.

Also, my cousin Hallie had her baby on Monday, Nov. 14. She had a little girl, Bridget Lea. I'm only guessing on those spellings, by the way. You never know these days, with all these crazy kids today makin' babies an' all their crazy spellin's. But the baby was healthy, 7 lbs. 4 oz. And so far they haven't noticed any of the abnormalities that her older sister, Brooklyn, has. Thank God for that.

Anyway, I'm heading up to Superior as soon as I'm done with work today. I'm having the other library worker finish up the afternoon shift so that I can start driving before it's too dark. Wisconsin + Snow + Darkness + Highways = Scary.