Open up, Baby Bird, cuz Mama's got a fat nightcrawler of truth!

Monday night, Amanda and I took Jersey out trick-or-treating. I took lots of pictures of Jerz in her bumblebee costume, but have not yet developed the film. I'll post them as soon as they're ready.

Anyway, we got a heavy bag of candy. And not because of how dang adorable Jersey was. It's because my sister is so short and young looking, everyone assumed she was the trick-or-treater! They'd drop a fistful of candy into the bag, then say, "Oh, and here's one more for the baby." It was hilarious, though it embarrassed Amanda.

And I ran into Brad and his wife, Paula, as they were taking their son around the houses. That sucked ass. To update (quickly) those who are unfamiliar: B & I worked together one summer a long time ago. He was married to P, but I didn't know for quite awhile and we flirted all the time. I went back to college. B & P separated. B started calling me. Flirtation, but that's as far as it went. B & P got back together, and have been off and on ever since. They are officially divorced, but are currently seeing each other. P works with my mom. Mom previously disliked P as much as me, but now I guess they're buddy-buddy. *gag*

Updated? Okay. So, we're all trick-or-treating, and run into each other. All embarrassed. I say hi to them both, Paula giving me a frozen smile. Manda and I take Jerz across the street to a house. I turn and see Brad pointing in our direction, like, "Aren't we going to that house?" And Paula taking off in the opposite direction of me. I was simultaneously relieved and annoyed. I told Mom about it later, and she nodded sadly at me. Which immediately annoyed the crap out of me. (Mom has the habit of bashing people I like, and liking people I bash. Annoying, right?)

Mom: (looking ever so sad about poor Paula) Yeah, Paula and I had a talk about you last week.
Me: What?? What the hell did you say about me?
Mom: Well, she said to me, "I know that when your daughter worked at Smith Co. (yes, I just made up a corporate name), Brad had a thing for her really bad."
Me: (quite smug) Ha ha. What did you tell her?
Mom: I didn't lie. I told her that yes, he did. But then I told her that nothing happened between you. You have certain morals, and then told her what those were. She said that you were someone to be proud of.
Me: (annoyed) What morals?
Mom: Well, that you don't believe in sex before marriage.
Me: Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis? I'm not waiting for marriage. I'm waiting until there's someone who's not 20 years older and drunk.
Mom: Well, whatever.
Me: Oh, great. Now she thinks I'm some little goodie-goodie and a prude. *exhaling loudly*

So that whole conversation was annoying. Look, I'm sorry if her husband had a thing for me. I never so much as held his hand. Ever. And it's not my fault they keep breaking up and getting back together. It's not my fault he keeps screwing other girls. (Btw, I never knew he cheated on her until recent years. And I swear to God, I never saw him outside of work that one summer, except for a random meeting in Bargain Bill's, when I was with my uncle.) I'm not going to suddenly befriend her or feel sorry for her. She's the one who keeps taking him back. So there, Mother. Take your sympathies elsewhere.

I also kept running into former classmates taking their kids out on Halloween. That was also annoying. Yes, annoyance is rooted deep within me.

My mom got her test results back, but they couldn't find anything wrong with her. And neither of the two doctors could feel her Lemony Snicket. So she's going in for another consultation this afternoon, and talk about further testing and options. She stayed home from work yesterday and today because she doesn't feel good. And also because she caught her own philandering husband (separated for 3? years), who apparently recently told her that he "wanted to change and have a future with her," making out in a car with The Whore he originally had the affair with. So she's doubly depressed. (And I maintained the strength not to say, "I told you so.")

Oh, and one last thing. If there's one thing that I hate, it's when Kristen is right. I now love The Gilmore Girls. Dang it!